Glier’s GoettaFest

Can I goetta AMEN for how fun this festival is? I’ve been to it the past 2 years I’ve lived here and can’t wait to go 3-​for-​3 this summer. The other reviews pretty much covered the food and entertainment angle, but I wanted to add that the goetta-​dog eating contest is not to be missed. I went with 2 other people last year and we all picked a favorite at the start to root for. Some of the best entertainment in life is free.

Another year another 2,000+ calories I gotta work off at the gym. But it’s worth it. I’ll never figure out if there’s a good time to go to avoid a plethora of strollers and «stand in the middle of a sea of people and have a conversation instead of moving out of the way people». It’s crowded, but not a surprise. Goetta is great and the secret is out.
We went around 8PMish on Sunday and it wasn’t as crowded as last year. As far as food goes, we had the goetta cheese chilito, goetta crêpe, and goetta fried cheese puffs, and goetta mac-​n-​cheese. All of them were new to us this year and were very good. Last year we had the goetta pizza which was yummy as well.
Goetta rocks and if you are into being somewhat health conscious, try out Glier’s turkey goetta. It has a ton less fat and calories and tastes pretty much the same as regular goetta. I think I’ve only seen it at Jungle Jim’s but am sure it’s at other places or available via special order.
The entertainment on Sunday night was great, good songs and quality musicians.
There was a karaōke contest going on in one of the tents and possibly the worst «singer» I’ve heard recently was slaughtering a song that was fortunately cut short by the DJ.
For those with kids there are a few carnival rides and a climbing wall.
As Alex mentioned, there are tons of seats for those that don’t want to try the skilled art of eating and walking. I was scared/​foolish because I had a white shirt on, but I left unscathed. yeah!

Here’s something you might not know about GoettaFest — it’s the second biggest festival in Cincinnati, right behind Oktoberfest (and right in front of Taste of Cincinnati.) Thousands and thousands of people come each year to try … goetta.
For anyone not from Cincinnati and confused on what the hell a «goetta» is, «Goetta is a breakfast sausage of German origin that is popular in the greater Cincinnati area. It is primarily composed of ground meat and oats.» Also, it’s damn tasty.
On any usual day, you’d have goetta cooked as a breakfast meat (goetta, eggs and potatoes? Mmm.) or on a grill (goetta dogs? Equally mmm…) But here’s the beauty of the once-​a-​year GoettaFest — it’s goetta everything! Goetta nachos, goetta waffles, goetta eggrolls, goetta got browns, goetta sushi, goetta doughnuts and much, much more. Every stand that sets up must at least cook one goetta item, so you get people creating really amazing, crazy goetta concoctions. I love it.
There are also ridiculous things like Goetta vending machines and giant goetta mascots. Yes, this is really happening.
The festival is at Newport on the Levee, but on the bottom portion on Riverboat Row, so right next to the river. This is actually one of my favorite spots in the area, since you get a beautiful view of Cincinnati, especially after dark. Combine that with delicious food, and I’m a happy camper.
Usually, I’ll be the first to say I’m not a fan of giant festivals, but this one’s somehow OK. It doesn’t seem or feel as crowded as Taste or Oktoberfest and there’s tons of space to sit down. They also have great free entertainment like bands and magic and so on. Very entertaining and it costs nothing to get in.
Yes, the food and drinks at the fest are overpriced, but that’s the case at any festival. Doesn’t take away from the fun I have every year. GoettaFest, you’re alright with me.