Skelton Jay PhD

It is interesting how Jay Skelton spends an inordinate effort having my reviews deleted. I have only stated verifiable facts that reflect very poorly on Jay Skelton’s lack of professionalism.
Family court is a very emotionally laden place. From those who were happy with Jay Skelton, as one reviewer stated, the review is more about the outcome and the family court in Marin, than Jay Skelton himself.
Jay Skelton is very much «embedded» with the system, and exists to create unnecessary conflict in families for his own benefit. Great if you get what you want with his help, but when he recognizes that your interest does not align with his, watch out.

Jay is a very gifted and talented therapist. He has the gift of making people feel comfortable in his presence which greatly facilitates the process. I highly recommend him.

This post is particularly important for parents to read before sending their children to Skelton:
I had a terrible experience with Dr. Skelton when I was a 14 years-​old patient, though I had been seeing him on and off for about 6 years, at that point. My parents were divorced and though they shared custody for several years, the catalyst for this new set of sessions was my dad being awarded full custody.
I am now 20 years-​old (and going into my junior year at college) yet, even now after all of these years, it’s still extremely haunting to think of the hell that that man put me through.
Skelton was a family counselor for my father & I; I saw him privately and had sessions where my dad was included. Atypically, I was the one who requested therapy for myself, not my parents, so it wasn’t the typical childhood behavioral issues that brought me in. Quite the contrary – I was an unusually good kid with parents who were self-​destructive & narcissistic, a conclusion with which Skelton had agreed.
I used to tape my sessions so I could listen to his advice in between sessions (my idea).
During 1 of my last sessions, I immediately knew that something was off with him. The session was supposed to be broken into into 2 halves-​he & I would talk alone for the 1^st half and my father would join us for the 2^nd half. Skelton appeared as if he’d fallen asleep in his chair. Not only were his eyes periodically closing, but he was also physically FALLING off the chair, essentially nodding off during our session, and one that had promised to be a crucial for me. Yet, I was only 14 and had trusted him implicitly and thus didn’t question this weird behavior.
However, when my father joined us, he wasn’t there more than 5 minutes before he asked me to leave the room so he could (I later found out) confront Skelton about his demeanor & conduct. Apparently, Skelton made some asinine excuse about cold medicine as his defense. I have taken cold medicine and, while it can make you drowsy, you don’t appear drugged to the world around you. Also, that excuse presupposes that though he was a grown man, he’d had NO experience with over-​the-​counter cold medicine until this day and had no way of knowing it’s creepy side effects. Unlikely. Now, looking back, he looked like he was auditioning for a role as a junkie who’d just «used.» If it wasn’t so stunning to my 14-​year-​old self, it would have been funny.
My first thought was, «so let me get this straight: my therapist is a drug addict who, occasionally, „uses“ during sessions???»
When my father and I went back the following week, I again went in to his office alone first, expecting to go over the fine points of the aborted session from last week, and having my father join us for the 2^nd half .
Instead, for the first time, Skelton insisted I turn off my tape recorder (which I’d been bringing to practically every single session). Once I complied, he declared a complete reversal of a position he had taken for months about my family situation.
Later, I realized that of course his sudden «about face» made perfect sense. He ‘d originally planned to take an unpopular stance and defend me to my father who he’d concluded was behaving irresponsibly and immaturely. However, now, having to choose between being popular with an adult or child, why would he deliberately alienate the adult who, a week prior had been horrified by his drugged out, falling-​out-​of-​his-​chair self? Of course, he would reverse his position, insist I not tape this session, and try to recover from the image and reputation damaging prior session. This session was now all about him.
I never went back to see him again, but the havoc he wrought on me emotionally took years to overcome
I can understand how many people find him charming, friendly («call me Jay»). With the benefit of hindsight and ciritical thinking skills, I can say that even before this particular incident occurred, he was, unimaginative, manipulative, indifferent, resolutely opinionated and psychologically unsophisticated.
I have no real axe to grind here – I’m not a spurned parent in the midst of a contentious divorce, who didn’t get the ruling I was hoping for. This is not written in bitterness and, in fact, I might have written this type of review a few years ago had I known these types of sites actually existed. Strangely, most of his practice is due to his unseemly cozy relationship with the Marin County Family Court system.
Marin County is not lacking in dedicated, professional, qualified therapists. I can’t imagine why anyone would deliberately seek this man out.

Jay is simply one of the best mental health professionals I’ve ever met.
I contacted Jay after I secured sole legal and physical custody of my daughter; to my daughter and to me, Jay is a therapist and a trusted friend. He is as much an anchor for me as a parent as he is a trusted, neutral adult in my daughter’s life. Even more than offering great advice, Jay has helped me learn to again trust my own instincts and my judgment as a parent. I can’t overemphasize how valuable that has been after enduring some pretty vicious attacks during my little journey through the legal process.
On that note, having been through the wringer of the family court system in Marin, my advice is to read certain reviews of Jay with a large chunk of salt. Those reviews that are based on an experience with Jay as a part of the legal process are, in my opinion, inevitably more about the legal process than about Jay. I think it’s almost impossible to not villianize anyone who isn’t 100% in your camp during that process — so whether it’s your spouse’s attorney or a custody professional who doesn’t see the world exactly as you do (whether he or she is right or wrong), that person has to be the anti-​christ. The only other explanation would be nearly impossible to accept.
I would not wish the experience of going through a custody dispute on any parent — if you are going through it, my heart goes out to you. Keep the health and happiness of your children at the front of all of your considerations — if you can do that, then no matter what happens, you won’t have anything to regret.
If you need help navigating that process and figuring out how to be the best parent you can be in practice, Jay’s your guy.
If you are researching «who’s this Skelton guy» because he will have some role in determining the future of your children (*their* future — yours is secondary now), I can tell you what I know — that I know him to be a man of integrity and to have an enormous heart. My advice is to be open and honest with him even if to do so is to admit your weaknesses. In other words, don’t try to bullshit him — in my experience, he is one who will see right through it. That certainly won’t help you — or, more importantly, your kids.

Dr. Skelton is one of the most highly respected and recommended mental health professionals in Marin County for a reason — he is, quite simply, one of (if not) the best. Highly ethical and professional, always calm and balanced, he is a consummate clinician. I have never known him to lose his temper or raise his voice, as one of the reviews alleges. (What I do know, is that angry people often project their own anger on to others and perceive that others are yelling at them.) I have known him to be honest — always.
I would encourage anyone thinking about consulting with Dr. Skelton to consider the circumstances of those who are posting negative reviews and how those circumstances influence the reviews. Those who have given 1-​star reviews are/​were in high-​conflict divorces with custody issues and the reviews suggest that the reviewers came out on what they perceive to be the wrong side of custody decisions. So, rather than consider what they themselves contribute to the situation, they demonize Jay.
In the 6 years that my children have been working with Dr. Skelton, he has remained an advocate for them. I consider his support a gift and I believe anyone who wants what’s best for their children would as well.

I would highly recommend Dr. Skelton to anyone who wants the most honest, authentic and competent mental health professional they can for their child. He helped my son through a terrible time in his life. Although I would have been willing to continue bringing my son to him, as I saw the good it was doing, Dr. Skelton was so honorable that he told me that my son didn’t need to be seen anymore. He left me with good advice going forward and an open door if I ever needed it.
He gave up a hefty monthly fee as he was being honest and authentic. It would have been easy for him to keep us going and making good money. But he didn’t. He is professional and an upstanding man. I personally feel that any negative comments on here are unwarranted and unfair. I would recommend Dr. Skelton to anyone and stand by that. He changed my sons life in a matter of months. The fact that he told us that we didn’t need to come or pay for session a anymore spoke volumes to me. He is honest and truly cares.
Plus, he was right! My son is now thriving at school, making new friends, secure in himself and happy. The only thing lacking in his life are his sessions with Jay! He truly developed a bond with him and is often keen to «fill Jay in» on how he is doing. Dr. Skelton left us saying that if we ever needed to call him for advice that he would always be there. I believe that and will call him if I ever need it. I am so thankful to have met such an honorable and talented child whisperer!
P. S. Please remember that this forum includes all parties. I have a feeling that any negative remarks on Unilocal were made by parents who just didn’t like hearing the truth. It’s easy to blame others. It’s much harder to look yourself in the mirror and own the truth. Dr Skelton is so upfront that he calls it how it is. That’s important. The only way to allow your kids to heal is to listen without defensiveness and to make changes that are recommended. Recommended by Dr. Skelton, because he knows what he is doing. Thank you Jay for all you have done.

Jay Skelton caused great distress in my life — and only now, years later –when he has been out of our lives and we are out of the Court system, do i feel safe from his unprofessional and unethical behavior. He takes very strong positions and is unwilling to compromise — or work with families. He refused to communicate with me — but communicated closely with the other parent. I felt powerless over my child’s life. He profited handsomely off of my child and he took advantage of the other parent’s willingness to keep paying him; I know this caused financial distress for the other parent. If you are in a custody battle I would urge you to seek another psychologist.