Karaoke Kruise

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip, that started from this cold ass port, aboard this karaōke ship. The mate was a mighty drinkin’ man, the Carter brave and sure. Five passengers set sail that day for a three hour tour. A three hour tour.
here we have a testament to the power of song. like lemmings over the cliff, krackaoke addicts will sing and drink anywhere. the newer and loonier, the better. our lot is the lewis and clark of drunkery and song.
we primed our livers in uncle pauly’s suite overlooking jack london square. i love looking down from balconies onto tourists. of course i bellowed out a mighty «MI GENTE!» in their honor. arms majestically, lovingly outstretched to highlight the moment.
around 7:30 we boarded the s.s. minnow. around 7:31 my memory gets spotty, so you’ll have to bear with me here a moment. ummm…
so the boat had a full complement of karaokeistas from the bay area over. you had your usual gaggle of old washups, a smattering of black folk, and a strong showing of your run of the mill chodes. the songing started forthwith.
we were already into the night’s fourth number before the boat even dislodged from the dock (i’m not a swabbie by trade so i’m not sure if «dislodged» is proper seafaring terminology, but you get the picture). thank god for dislodging, too, because i was song number 12 and was starting to sweat bullets that i paid $ 25 just to sing on the poop deck of a dingy floating idly at the end of dock.
gauging by the various constellations, time of year, adjusting for daylight savings and how many greyhounds i had, i figure we were somewhere just outside the oakland estuary when i got up for purple rain. you can’t be messing around with new stuff on a boat, see, and risk screwing it up, cuz guess what: you just wasted $ 25. nope, i peeled off a pretty standard rendition of prince’s finest, but with a hint of pirate. come to think of it, prince dresses like a pirate. *headbangs once, lightly*.
coming soon: base jumping karaōke. rock out!