Branx

Love the production crews that throw events here, but the bartenders are not cool. They charge you $ 3 to muddle your lime and charge $ 14 for a drink that they take away from you in one minute without warning. Not sweet.

The venue is good but the music was not so good.
The Dj on Wednesday night, a happy young buck by name of Arelle who got his hair did for his hair flippin’ set. He played good according to my friends who live in Portland. Lol..

I was a little uncertain of this placed based off the reviews but my bf’a friend was DJing so we went. I had a GREAT time.
Very much a dive and not in the best part of town but we had fun. Drinks were stiff and they had a coat check and I even gave them my purse and they kept it save.
I ordered my bf a drink and accidentally got him a whiskey soda not a whiskey coke and they didn’t charge me again and the VIP section in the back was fun.
I heard from the guys to not enter the bathroom cause it was awful so I stayed away.
If u want fun music (EDM) and a not super crowded place I’d say go but maybe go with a group of guys, not all women.

Holy DIVE Unilocaler!
This is a real shit hole of a venue. We came for an event in July when the temperature stayed in the 90’s overnight.
There is/​was no ventilation or A/​C, they serve dixie-​cups sized drinks with super cheap booze.
I’ve ‘popped’ in to this place for 3 or 4 years to see the crowd, and the people running the place haven’t tried to improve or clean it since!
There seems to be another venue upstairs — but you can only go up there to use the restroom?
I’ll only go back if my friends are throwing yet another event, but I strongly recommend finding another large, smelly room that instantly gives you a headache.

Won’t be returning anytime soon, or probably ever again. The creepy alleyway style entrance was enough to make me wonder about my organs remaining intact throughout the evening… Service was, as described by others, awful. I came to see one of my favorite artists, whose shows I’ve enjoyed at two other venues previously with no trouble. I printed these tix at home, they said 9:00pm. Opener wasn’t listed but I assumed I should show early to get a good spot anyway. My friend and I arrived a little after 8:00pm — no one in sight. We weren’t even sure we were at the correct entrance to the venue or if this was a back alleyway or loading dock or something. No security at the door, no signs indicating where the show was or who the artist was… Not a fucking thing besides a dimly lit plank style walkway that looked like it led into the belly of an organ harvesting operation. After a while, others started materializing like Sam from an episode of Quantum Leap and by almost 9:00pm there was probably a good 60 people in line behind us, still not a normal crowd for a show though. During that almost hour wait time I decided to try to call the venue, Branx’s main line, listed publicly, you know because they’re supposedly a functioning business, to confirm the show was still on, we were at the correct entrance, etc. Other show goers were talking amongst each other, checking Facebook, etc, to confirm the show was on also. No one answered the phone ever. I tried a second time later as well. A couple of times employees walked up to or near the door and peered out at us, without ONCE letting us know anything, thanking us for waiting in the rain, etc. We knocked a few times. Waved. Yelled. Nothing. Nothing. We saw them casually hanging up signs for an upcoming show around the bar. About 9:00pm, the whole bar staff and security comes outside for a smoke without a single word to us. I yell, IS THERE A SHOW TONIGHT OR WHAT?!! Security dude gruffly says there is. THAT’S ALL WE NEEDED TO KNOW, THANKS. He makes some comment about them waiting on the artist. What? You’re going to blame this on the artist? Why don’t I believe that for some reason?!! Finally, 9:05: doors. Opener starts at like 9:45 ish? Main act doesn’t get going until what, almost 11 at this point?
Bathroom? Didn’t even bother. Clenched my bladder like my life depended on it. I trusted other Unilocalers’ reviews. Thank y’all because my friend went and said it ‘reeked horribly of piss’.
Bar? Hell no. I could see what kind of service they offered, and I had a feeling it ended with me waking up groggy in a tub of ice. (And/​or long waits, missing cards, watered down drinks, or who knows what else.) Either way I wasn’t going to take my chances. We drank a little before we arrived.
Sound? Not the best. Not the worst… I guess? Nothing to write home about. I heard music. When my favorite song was playing I pretended my ears didn’t hurt… Sometimes my ears actually hurt and I covered them. I wish I was joking.
Atmosphere? Okay for dancing give or take a few hiccups… My friend and I were pretty sure we saw some people drop acid near the back where the couches are, there was plenty of smoke machine effects to drown out the pot and patchouli wafting around, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING could take care of the swampy fucking bog that the room became once all of the flower children commenced their spasmodic ‘dancing.’ Holy patchouli pit of humid despair Batman, I was literally just soaking wet by the time I left. Aside from the disgusting sauna-​like feel (that’s not hyperbole, it actually felt like a sauna after a point), someone on staff kept walking back and forth from the hall or something to the stage area with a flashlight… over and over again.
Because the show got going so late and because it was so sick in there we left before the show was over. Kind of a drag but I’d had my fill of tweakers running around, climbing on the couches and shit. Even if this artist returns to this venue I doubt I’d drop cash to see him here again.
They get 2 stars, (one always for being in business… technically), and the 2^nd here for hosting one of my fav artists.
/​Branx rant.

My boyfriend and I came by to see a friends band play the place is fairly cool very affordable bartender was very nice. The bathroom was like something out of a third world country or horror movie avoid at all costs.:-) I recall being here years back when it was called meow meow i think lol Cool place for a metal show.

This place really made me nostalgic. even though it was my first time here. I was excited to see the band that was playing but hearing the opening band and how awful the sound was had me feeling like it was going to be a waste of money…
It wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been… the band did a great job with the limitations that Branx set up for them.
I also want to mention that I know a ton of venues sell food but I will always think it stinks. Hot, sweaty environments that reek of fried food is a straight nausea inducing mixture for me. yuck.

When this place was the Meow Meow, it was rad. When it became the Loveland, it declined but still had some old charm. Now it’s just a decrepit old relic with terrible sound that deserves the Old Yeller treatment but sticks around as one of those «sorry the Satyricon closed, we know Portland needs cheap all-​ages venues» joints.
Hadn’t been here in years but saw a show recently, could barely hear much of anything due to a fritzy sound system, and the barricade between the all-​ages and 21+ crowd got wrecked when people crashed into it. Summed up the night. Branx sucks.

Typical venue. Not bad, but nothing special. They have good shows, and they are affordable, which is nice. The bar is priced normally. Overall, the sound man knows what he’s doing, though the P.A. often has a lot of high end, which will blow out your hearing for the next day if you don’t being ear plugs.

Danced for an event there. I’ve been a performer for a little while now and I’ve never been this insulted. Many venues comp performers all of their tab, industry standard says you at least comp your performers non-​alcoholic beverages and I’ve never been charged for water while doing a performance in my life, until now. Fuck this place in particular.

Some points for effort. A couple of DJs were really great, but most must have been family members of the bartenders or something, because they had no business being Djs.

Cool enough venue size-​wise however they have the WORST sound system I’ve ever heard. We came to see The Thermals with Wampire and the vocals were non-​existent. Everything sounded like you were listening to muffled music from underwater. If you actually care about hearing the band you are seeing DO NOT go to this venue.

We went for a Jai Ho Bollywood and Bhangra Dance party put on by DJ Prashant.
Parking was a bit challenging in this industrial area which I found surprising but the competition for a place is fierce unless you are willing to walk several blocks through the mainly deserted and dark industrial area. Then you have to figure out that the entrance is through a food cart area, none of which are open when we arrived at 9 ish.
We made our way up a slick walk way to a door you can’t really see from the street, and entered a perfectly nondescript, nothing special place. With a bar to the left in the «lobby» area, and a larger bar to the straight ahead and to the right of the dance area, which is long and narrow and will lead you to the stage and a bit more open space to the left of the stage. I wouldn’t plan to use the restrooms unless it was completely unavoidable.

It’s nothing special, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with the place that a little bit of TLC couldn’t fix, but why should they, it serves its purpose just fine. The Bartenders are a-​okay as well, not exactly warm and fuzzy, but they don’t need to be, as long as they can pour.

I saw Larry and His Flask there 12/​28/​2012. The place was packed. All ages show so the alky dividers were up. No chicken wire like mentioned in another review, just dual metal barriers set about 4 feet apart (sort of like what they do in the Crystal Ballroom). Service from the bar was reasonably quick and the sound was good. So far so good.
What really hurts this place is the bathroom situation. Having just two toilets for the entire establishment is simply unacceptable. I have never seen a fight break out over placement in the bathroom line before. Unbelievable. Figure on at least a 10 – 15 minute wait during any moderately crowded show. When I emerged from the bathroom after a mere 30 second stop (i.e. allowing the line to keep moving), cheers broke out like I was a super hero. Just terrible.
BTW, I also found the entire place to be pretty clean. None of the vomit fries, urine, semen stuff at our show at all.

Pretty small venue but with what looked to be a decently stocked bar.
The show I went to was very disorganized, there was ONE PERSON manning the entire entry station (selling door tickets and doing the will call line) so the line moved at a horribly slow pace.
Only 2 bathrooms for the entire place but overall a decent venue for smaller crowd shows.

Hmm. I’m not sure what to think of Branx honestly.
It’s definitely not the Satyricon, but I guess in some respects it’s the closest we’re gonna get at this point. Is this a good thing? I’m not really sure. To me it just seems kinda ram-​shackely and un-​finished.
I don’t normally do the pro/​con lists but it seems the best way to deal with Branx so here goes
Pros:
Sound system is great!
Every once and awhile they book some killer punk shows (Doom! Religious War! Hellshock! Deathcharge! All one bill! Awesome!)
More Stage/​Audience Space than the East End/​The Know/​Plan B (which is pretty much what we’re down to in venues these days)
Staff is pretty much the same as it was at Satyricon. (It’s nice to see a familiar face.)
Cons:
Staff is pretty much the same as it was at Satyricon. (Are you really still gonna give me shit for something I did x amount of years ago?)
Bar is hard to order from and you can only drink in a really, really confined space
Bathrooms/​Bathroom Line Suck
No seating AT ALL
The All Ages/​21+ set up is a clusterfuck from hell. Also for you youngsters, no re-​entry.
I guess the truth is, I’m probably only going to go to shows there that I really, really, really wanna see because I suppose I’m just getting old and cranky.

Yes, there is a lot more room (if it’s a 21 and over night) for seeing shows then when it was downtown, satyricon, BUT, between waiting 15 minutes from their understaffed and super slow bar, and 20 minutes in line for the nasty, piss covered bathrooms, its soo disappointing! The space could have been used more efficiently for a venue, it will have to be the show of a lifetime for me to ever go back.!! Branx, get it together, 200 people need more then 2 unisex bathrooms!, and girls, go before you get there, the drunk guys piss all over!
You think the owners would care a little more that most people where opting to pee outside. This means you don’t give a crap about your customers!
Branx, you blew it!

Worst venue ever.
The place smells like vomit and french fries. Maybe a little less time by the staff acting cool and a little more time with a fucking mop might be in order. Also, if you are going to run a total shithole at least invest in a decent sound system.
BTW, speaking of mops, having a half inch of water on the bathroom floor is unacceptable.
Branx, you suck.

I’m sure this is a great place to drink and dance or whatever, but I had to go down to Branx to see The Ghost Inside, Deez Nuts, and Hundredth because the tour didn’t come to the Seattle/​Tacoma area.
There were a couple of things that bothered me about this place, but my the major issues were with the staff and the lack of foresight. The mesh partition that they used to separate the bar from the all-​ages crowd kept falling over. I don’t know what genius thought that some plastic mesh on 10-​pound stands would be a good barrier, considering the crowd that should have been expected for a hardcore show. This was just bad planning, and hopefully the people who run Branx will get a clue if they plan on making this an actual music venue.
The real deal-​breaker was the staff. They were lazy. All they did was stand around and yell at people for getting too close to their mesh «barrier». When guy got knocked out and a couple of people tried to carry him out through the bar (the fastest way out), the staff made a big deal about letting them through – even though the guy was UNCONSCIOUS and needed help. Also, it took them almost 10 minutes to break up a fight. Branx is the only «music venue» I have ever been to that when a fight happens, everyone (including the staff) stops to watch. Hello, staff at Branx, you are being paid to work, not to stand around and be a-​holes.
This place has a long way to go if it is really meant to be the replacement for the Satyricon. Even if my favorite band is playing at Branx, I will not return.

Branx is a Hot Mess, and I love it.
The warm dark walls with patches of exposed brick, mixed with the disco ball the makes the room glitter to the brink of epileptic seizure really speaks to my LA upbringing. Branx has an unfinished look, but something about it seems finished in it’s own right. A sort of unfinished, finished that is sexy and makes you want to drink cheep booze in excess. Which reminds me — drinks could be cheaper. 2.50 for a PBR is highway robbery.
I haven’t had much luck with DJs here. The dance floor is lacking, not because of the venue space, but the music. I get the feeling that should opportunity knock Branx could handle an epic dance party, and I hope I am there for it.