Dirty Pie Pizza

Great pizza! Rude ass staff! Yeah I know they deal with drunkards but for us sober people… not cool! The late night crowd is the bread and butter of this place but they treat their patrons like shit!!!

So there are two pizza window down town. I’ve tried both (inebriated and sober) this one is hands down my favorite. The pizza is delicious! The price is rock bottom and the serving is nearly a ¼ pizza.

$ 5 for a piece of very mediocre pizza. But lets be honest, you’re not here because you have high standards. You’re here because you’re drunk, have a belly full of alcohol, and are possibly sexually frustrated. You just want some of whatever that delicious smell is. Well, that smell is likely coming from one of the food carts on the adjacent street, but how could anyone be sure of that in a drunken stupor?
On top of the $ 5 for a slice of cheese pizza, they make you feel guilty for not paying more money for a tip. Big ol tip jar right in the window, or a place on the ticket for a tip. Sorry for not giving you another dollar for taking 10 seconds to throw a somewhat warm piece of pizza in front of me. I too, wish I got paid 1 dollar per 10 seconds. I also wish Brad Pitt was gay and my next door neighbor.

This is your typical drunk pizza place. I wish I’d seen the food trucks around the corner before committing to this overpriced crap. Though at the time, the bouncers were using a bullhorn to communicate their anger at anyone standing on the sidewalk for more than 3 seconds. It was sort of a «I’m hungry and don’t like being harassed. This place looks like a good excuse to stand around while I desperately try to hail a cab.»
Like I said, look for other options before succumbing to the Dirty. Your wallet and your belly will thank you later.

If you build it they will come. Hot garbage for meat heads sign me up

I look forward to trying new pie shops whenever they come along because pizza would be my choice if I were stuck on a island with only one food, or as a last meal choice if I were on death row, better yet death row prison ON an island. Anyway, Saturday night I heard about Dirty Pie and went to check it out after a long night of dancing at the Fez. I waded past groups of women who looked like they raided their daughters closets. (it’s not called Forever 41 for a reason) and subsequently put up with the cat calls from cars driving by to pick up on those women.
When it came time to order I saw a meager selection of pie slices on paper plates sitting on the typical rotunda under a heat lamp. It took a while to decide which one of the three choices to pick. Since I was new I decided on the basic cheese and handed over a five. She took it, gave me my selected paper plate of «food» and said «thanks condiments are around the side». No change? Even the gourmet pizza shops charge less for a slice. Now the taste… mediocre. This is only a mini-​step up from the pie you can find two blocks away from Dante’s. It was firm but flavorless, no seasoning to the sauce and boring cheese, not even a blend of Italian cheeses, just mozzarella. Bottom line: a sponge for your gut to soak up the booze.

Since you don’t have to actually enter Dirty to get the pizza, I’m adding this «business» separately.
You’re in Old Town, you’re between drinking spots and you need something to east. Fast.
Your choices are limited. The line of suburbanites at Voodoo is daunting. There’s Dante’s pizza window, but let’s say for this exercise that you don’t care for paper thin, floppy pizza. Fortunately if you can get through the clouds of Axe body spray, if you can negotiate the obstacle course of crotch skimming-​skirted Beavertronian hootchies (you can’t suggest they leave something to the imagination, we’re talking about people from BEAVERTON here), there’s a new option.
It’s priced for desperate drunks ($ 4 for pepperoni) and it’s pretty okay. This is by no means gourmet pizza, but the crust stands up, the sauce isn’t too sweet and the cheese doesn’t have any yogurt funk.
If you have time I’d suggest NW Burger. If you’re in a hurry, you could do a lot worse than this place.