Pyramid Taproom at Schonely’s Place

Over priced, slow service, mediocre food, beer not much better. What more can you say?

I am a patient person, which is why I waited in line an hour to get seated. But I was never seated.
Our party of 2 stood in a clear line at the entry. After about half an hour of waiting one of the hostesses yells out to the line asking if we were all there to eat, and if so, did we have our name on the list. No one did and there was a mad rush to put your name in regardless of how log you’d been standing in line. I went up and said we’d been waiting in the line for a significant amount of time and was unaware we had to put our name in. One of the hostesses said they’d put ours near the top of the list.
Fast forward another 30 minutes and my sister and I are now standing at the front of the line directly in front of 3 hostesses and a man who appears to be a manager. Most of the people in front of us had left without ever getting seated, and they begin to call names. We make it known we’d been waiting over 45 minutes and that the people behind us being called obviously arrived after us. They ask our name and continue to call other people from their multiple lists. Clearly no one knew who had priority, and instead of taking people in the obvious order they arrived (the clear line) they continued to call out names. They actually asked us our name then looked directly into my eyes and called out another name. RAGE.
By the time they seated 5 parties who clearly arrived after us – again, we are AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE — I had lost my patience and left to get what was likely better food from another vendor. Don’t bother with this place. Their hostesses are incompetent.

Service was decent but the food was horrible. Soggy fish and chips. Hamburger was «middle school» cafeteria style. I would not recommend.

This should be your draw to this dining experience: On occasion you might be sitting in Schonely’s, drinking a «Shonz Red Ale», and also see Bill Schonely walk by your table. If this happens (it did in fact happen to me just recently) then there is not too much that can turn this dining/​drinking experience into a bad one. Not even some luke warm fries…
If you want to dine here prior to a game, do it for the experience, not because you want a great (or affordable) meal. It’s an arena restaurant. It is what it is and no one is going to change that. The line is always long, the food never comes out hot, it’s way over priced, and the service is slow. You would spend less and be about 100% more satisfied if you just hit up the Killer Burger window instead.
Now, everything I just said is in regards to sitting down in the restaurant and eating. The bar is a little bit of a different story. If you are going to drink $ 9 beers while taking in a sporting event/​concert/​whatever… you should get those beers here (if you are on the main level of course). They have more selection and variety than any other little window or booth in the arena. At least from my experience anyway. Not to mention, the bar tenders are quick and friendly enough. And do yourself a favor… don’t order cocktails at the Moda. They are small, weak and very expensive. Drink beer and only beer, even if you don’t like beer (but in that case, what are you doing in Portland?) Rip City! Go Blazers!

Moda Center Schonely’s Place
First, it’s amazing how quickly they can seat and serve 250 people.
As one would expect, the menu is limited to burgers, hot dogs, sandwiches and similar foods.
We were seated after about five minutes after getting on the list. Our server came by promptly and took drink order — at that time, we also ordered a «Starter».
As described, their Chicken Quesadilla ($ 11) was made with smoked chicken breast, roasted peppers, onions and Tillamook cheddar cheese, served in a warm flour tortilla, and served with pico de gallo, guacamole and chipotle-​lime cream.
Remarkably quickly, we were served the dish made with a badly dried out tortilla, and not much chicken. The little cups of guacamole and chipotle-​lime cream were good!
Additionally, our elfin Chicken Quesadilla was served almost warm, but COLD by the second bite.
Sweetie ordered the «Amber Ale» (the restaurant is located in a «taproom») Pastrami Sandwich ($ 14) with sliced pastrami, grilled onions, smoked provolone cheese, horseradish cole slaw and Mac’s Amber Ale mustard sauce. For an additional $ 2, Sweetie was able to substitute the fries for onion rings.
The Pastrami Sandwich was, well, petite. It appeared to contain all of the specified ingredients, but in very modest quantities.
Both her sandwich and onion rings were served COLD.
I opted for the Caesar Salad ($ 11.25) with chicken (plus $ 4 = $ 15.25) with «Romaine lettuce «tossed in our Caesar dressing», topped with shaved Parmesan cheese and buttery-​garlic sourdough croutons.
It was a large portion of Lettuce; it was crisp, and no brown edges. There were sprinkles of cheese — but no croutons. The dressing (verified by Sweetie) tasted like thinned-​out mayonnaise; it was almost tasteless.
There appeared to be about a 4 oz portion of sliced, seasoned chicken breast on it — served COLD. But in this case, the menu didn’t say it was «Hot off the grill».
Because we were feeling mellow, and it was not long before the Fleetwood Mac concert was about to begin, we didn’t complain.
Customers at nearby tables did complain about cold food, and waited after we’d departed for the arena for their «hot» food.
But, our server was great, the service was fast, and both the server and manager stopped by the table to inquire about our meal. We could have put up a fuss, but instead, we lied by smiling and nodding our heads that all was okay.
We saw many customers leaving 50-​cent and one-​dollar tips — griping about the high priced, small-​portion, cold meals. We thought this is just mean. The servers were literally RUNNING food and drinks to tables; they were working hard. It isn’t their fault that the food delivery system ends up turning out cold, dried-​out looking food. So, we left at 20% tip on our $ 50 tab.
We would probably been better off with a Killer Burger in the Moda Center concourse — but such is life!

My new-​found friend and I talked about meeting up at Moda Center to eat before the basketball game. The entrance is through the arena right next to this bar/​restaurant on the west side of the arena. They’ll let you in 2 hours before the game.
I was disappointed when I was told they don’t have flights of beers — but their menu from Moda Center’s website says they do. Plan B: stick to the tried and tested — Hefeweizen! We stared at the menu for a long time… a really really long time. We couldn’t decide what to eat since the menu items were your typical American/​bar food: sandwiches, fries, tacos, salads, etc.
My friend ended up getting chicken fingers and I got rosemary garlic fries and a roast beef sandwich. I was really excited to watch the OKC vs Portland game so my appetite wasn’t all there. The fries were good. The chicken fingers and roast beef sammie were just alright.
Since everything else don’t open until minutes before the game, there’s nowhere else to go. But hey, they have good beer. The service was great. Our server was very attentive and the manager checked on us too. We were out 15 minutes before the game started and that’s what’s important.