UYE Patio Crawl

Dang, I love hanging out with the Portland Yeeps. I know; I’ve said it before. So sue me. If they’re there, it’s a party.
I was running late, and opted to meet the crew at the second stop listed for the night: Roadside Attraction. The name conjured up images of tumbleweeds and freakshows, rattlesnakes in cages, and Tom Robbins’ inimitable style. What it did NOT conjure up: the enclosed and mostly-​covered patio, filled with and surrounded by luxuriant garden, with multiple funky nooks and centered around an outdoor barbecue/​fire pit. Wow! Cool!
What I also did not expect: the whole Chinese bordello décor of the bar itself, with vivid red walls and dim lighting, and complete with round doorways! Total aesthetic knockout!
What I loved: the big tables that one crowded all of one’s friends around, the décor/​ambience of the space.
What was meh: the drinks (no Tanqueray? Really?), the long long wait at the bar, hoping to be noticed by the bartender, who called on thirsty/​hungry customers at apparent random (no other way to order), the mac ‘n’ cheese, the size of the food portions, the prices.
What I hated: cash only, wafting smoke that one couldn’t escape.
Next, everybody headed for Ladd’s Inn (with a brief detour at the Jolly Roger bar, where a reggae cover band blasted everybody back outside); Fearless Leader Don was handing out Jello shots as I walked in. Seriously? You people are crazy.
Manhattan: STRONG pour. Dang me. Sipped slowly all night and still had to abandon half of it.
Karaōke: a couple of local characters with obvious stage-​hog habits entertained us – I particularly liked the fellow who favored the high-​energy 70s rock hits. Including stage-​acrobatics. I wonder what he was drinking? The woman who took the mic several times was wearing the most extravagant 60s-​psychedelic Palazzo pants I’ve ever seen; eyes were instantly drawn to them, and couldn’t come unglued. And some of our own gave it a pretty darn good go… including the multi-​Yeep rendition of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. Awesome.
12^th and Hawthorne food carts? Yes, please! I went for Whiffies, because how can I turn down a fried chicken-​pot-​pie hand-​pie? Or a fried marionberry hand-​pie?
Except they kept giving me the wrong pies. I ended up with 3 marionberry pies and one chicken pot pie, for the price of 2 pies! I felt bad for them, but I really wanted the chicken pot pie… and my friends (mostly) enjoyed the free marionberries! Chicken could have used a bit more flavor; marionberry was perfect. Very, very gooey. Bring wet-​wipes.
Justin, thanks for walking with me… more fun to walk in the rain with friends.

I planted myself firm at Roadside Attraction. I started out a little intimidated (shutup, I’m shy, ok?) but every Unilocaler I met was super nice. Glad events like this one exist and look forward to more!

Ridiculous fun, booze and food — the latter only ridiculous in it the fact that any rational person would have put the food 1^st in order of consumption… or at least before the booze.
No matter though, as the lack of a proper foundation made me a cheap date… only 4 maybe 5 beers (actually, sipped off a few more tasters @ the Dragon) and 1 Jello shot all night and I was buzzing like Col. Aldrin!
If there’s one thing to take from this review, it’s that Don rocks, rawks, and rox!
If there’s a second thing to take from it, it’s that we need more pub crawls, STAT!
A third would be that there’s always room for $ 1 J-​E-​el-​el-​O shots @ Jolly Roger.
If there’s a 4^th thing, it would be that ending a pub crawl at the Hawthorne food carts is so frickin genius a statue should be erected in honor of whoever thought of it (see paragraph 3 above).
Seriously, much fun was had by everyone I had the pleasure to chat with, and it was the perfect Friday night to cap off a long week!

You Unilocalers are really hot. And fun and funny. Drunken karaōke, patios, jello shots and food carts — what could be better.
The best Friday night I’ve spent in a long, loooong time…

This crawl was in my ‘hood so it was nice to have the option of actually being able to crawl home afterwards (I did get a ride though). Fun times were had.

Yep. This was fun.
I love you guys!

I didn’t do the whole crawl, but I still had a blast. Yeeps always bring joy and happiness, sober or drunk, it doesn’t matter. Till the next crawl!!!
P.S: I chose the «good for kids» additional tip below :).

Got there a little late, coming from Paccini’s at PSU with some other peeps. That New Belgium beer was delicious, couldn’t believe my friend and I drank that entire pitcher. Meeting some of the Rose City Roller Girls was a real treat too. Good times, can’t believe I missed karaōke :(. Smelled like peanut sauce after hitting the food carts, couldn’t contain myself from potato champions I guess, got clumsy.

I just crawled up to my house just about now.
NOW that is some crawl that we have!
(just kidding about the getting home).
The weather somewhat cooperated after some hours of drizzling.
I wish I had the time to socialize with everyone. or have I? It was all a blur after my third drink and halfway to consuming my lemon curd, linggon berry and chevre cheese crêpe.
Lovely indeed.

Whee! I know this one wasn’t convenient for NW yeeps, but it was so cool that you guys made it. Great drinks, even better company, and the built-​in activity of traipsing from bar to bar? Hells yeah. Topped off by a ham and gruyère crêpe? Oh holy hells yeah.
Thanks for planning this Don, it was downright Portland-​inspirational to see so many folks direct the big-​ol Unilocal finger to the weather gods and say «So yeah, it rains here. Jello shots?»

Well, honestly, I did a terrible job of keeping up with the group and I got splintered off more than once. But Crawl/​Carts should probably become a regular occurrence, what a swell idea.
I thought I already knew about all the food down there– that was until my buddy gave me a sip of his Nutella shake from the Crêpe cart… I almost never eat sweets, but holy hell, that thing was good!
Sorry I missed the drunken karaōke, I’ll bet that was awesome.

Good time indeed! Roadside attraction is super cute! The Green Dragon smelled like the zoo, and served the weakest drink ever. Ladd’s Inn was a cool, layed back place.
Thanks for letting me try your fries with pesto mayo DK, yum! Catherine, thanks for the marrionberry pie. I now know that 2 Whiffies pies are 1 too many in the middle of a pub crawl. Thanks for the drinks and jello shot Don.

Wow
Double WOW!
Braving monsoon-​style torrential downpours and shrugging off cold-​core tornado warnings (what is it about your UYE’s that brings the funnel clouds anyway?!) Portland’s Unilocalers came out for a fierce night of strong beers at the Green Dragon, generalized chaos at Roadside Attraction, an attempt to shanghai the Jolly Roger thwarted by a bad reggae band, skipping Plan B for Plan C, drunken karaōke and jello shots at Ladd’s Inn, and serial gluttony at the 12^th and Hawth food carts.
What an impressive show of force it was. Twenty-​some odd Unilocalers rolled alongside a rag-​tag group of hard-​core roller derby girls and their entourage to form what amounted to a take-​down crowd at the biggest stop of the night, Roadside Attraction (what a cool patio!). Splinter factions happened, and while some of the crowd ventured off to Lucky Lab and points beyond, the majority reconvened at the carts for some grub. And what amazing grub it was (it’s 9am and I’m STILL full).
It was great to meet some new people, see see new faces, and catch up with the awesome Portland Unilocal community. What a great night.
Thanks to all who came out to this marvelous UYE Patio Tour!
We’re definitely gonna do this one again. :)