Dick’s Last Resort

The hostess was nice.
When my friend changed her birthday dinner plans to Dick’s a few days before her party, I thought nothing of it. It was when I was looking up directions and saw the Unilocal reviews that I realized what my hubby and I were getting into. Thanks for the head’s up, guys! We picked up a couple of bread bowls and were expecting this to be not our cup of tea, but we’d get through it.
With that said, it was still a worse experience than I imagined it would be. Once all of us (sans bday girl) were gathered, someone mentioned that this didn’t seem her style. I said that my guess was someone told her it would be fun, but she hadn’t looked into it herself. I was right, but no one was a winner.
I am not faulting the restaurant for having a style of humor I would not prefer, but the execution was still subpar. Instead of being sarcastic, or clever, or crude, or witty, or whatever it is that might qualify as amusing, our waitress just yelled. A lot. She told the birthday girls (she «served» two parties at once), not to feel or act special, because they weren’t. She definitely delivered on that by not making our birthday girl one of their traidemark hats with silly sayings on it (probably one of the few slightly amusing things even happening here). Their menu is mostly pub fair — good luck if you’re a vegetarian. The only options are mozzarella sticks or fried pickles (my friend tried ordering the nachos, but they won’t take the chili off of it, which has meat). She warned us that the salmon tasted nothing like fish, and that the crab cakes were almost literally clay. Thanks for the head’s up?
The menus are written on chalk boards across the restaurant, and our table had a big column in front of it that prevented us from seeing the chalkboard. Although we couldn’t see it, she wouldn’t tell us anything on it (in order to maintain her dickosity). But, maybe her style of «dick» just wasn’t our style. She did do one thing, however, that I think crossed the line — but I’ll save that for just one moment.
The real thing that made me mad at this place was the food. Three friends ordered the shrimpapalooza — two were splitting it, assuming that at $ 22, it would be enough to feed them. The plate was so pathetic, I immediately asked if I could take a picture of it. I had to take two because on the first take, the plate was almost entirely obscured by one girl’s hand. She doesn’t have a particularly big hand — the plate was just tiny.
The shrimp was hardley bigger than salad shrimp, and lousy. Most of the plate was composed of rice and a mexican corn of sorts — we, of course, had no idea what the sides were because our waitress refused to explain, to the chagrin of the bday girl who didn’t like rice. The real problem here was that it was awful. The bday girl ate a shrimp and said «ew» quite loudly, despite herself. No server batted an eye. I was told the chicky chicken was tolerable by a person at the other side of the table, but she left most of her food untouched. It looked like a really terrible night at Denny’s (and I’m down with Denny’s on occasion!) I just couldn’t get over the price tag that came with it. This was bad even accounting for inflation in SF. Considering these were the good dishes, I can’t honestly imagine how bad the crab cakes must’ve been.
The drinks were… I guess they were there. A few people at the table ordered the $ 30 margarita bowls, in which you get to keep the cup. My friend’s corona-​rita drink tasted absolutely wrong. My bartender husband wasn’t sure how they got it to taste the way they did. We passed it all around the table — multiple people remarked it tasted like pot. So if you’re into drinks that taste like edibles, that could be good.
The moment that probably summed up the night best was this, and for this I do fault the waitress… server… person who was there yelling at us: one person in our group asked if they could at least get their souvenir glasses rinsed out, or get a bag. She said no. He had bought two (one for himself, one for his girlfriend), and was about ¹⁄₃ of the way through his second drink, when she came over, dumped it out, and declared it rinsed. He paid $ 30 just to have the waitress dump out almost the entirety of his drink. He was livid. I was shocked!
I have practically written a novel here. My apologies. This is actually shorter than the rant my husband was giving as we walked 15 or so minutes to our parking spot — if he’d written this, it would probably just contain profanities. I just don’t think I’ve had a worse experience, and I don’t want anyone else to go through what we did. Maybe it’s better during the day, but stay away during the evening hours. There’s so much in SF better than this.

1 star is too much. Don’t go here not even as a last resort. I’m a regular at the one in San Diego, went to this one when I stumbled into it hoping to get the same cool service with attitude that dick’s is known for.
Well I made the biggest mistake by sitting at the bar where the biggest asshole of a bartender decided to flex on me and my young nephew and really be a class 1 dick. His latin and his name is TONY or Anthony. It was my nephews bday and he made it a horrific experience for him. As soon as we sat down we told him we were starving and about a minute later put input Order which he ignores but I’m thinking he is going with the whole «dicks «attitude, so then he decides to belittle my nephew non stop until the kid is almost shedding a tear and has the manager join in on the fun and bullying of a kid that had just turned 21. Well my nephew decides he does t want even a drink after the constant bashing and just orders a water which he never even got. Finally i finish my drink which he didn’t even make what I asked him. And i tellm what’s going on with our food and he tells us we never put in out order and tells us kitchen is close. I’m thinking this guy should win an academy Award for carrying the dicks attitude all the way to this extreme. So im still thinking he is gonna bring our food and when confronted he says he is gonna bring the manager. Manager comes and she tells us kitchen is close and we explain to her that we put in our order right when we sat down and mr asshole aka tony. Jumps from the back and calls us both liars. And she believes him over the clients. She is not apologetic in any way and makes us pretty much leave. What these 2 incompetent workers don’t know I recorded the whole thing take place as I wanted to get my nephews facial expression since he didn’t know about the so call dicks experience but what I ended up capturing is much worse. In recording you can hear us order our food and repeat our our order and you are able to see my nephew start to almost shed a tear as tony the asshole decided to BULLY him non stop. I’m a film producer and had done a big wrap party at dicks In San Diego. I will definitely never set a foot in any of the locations. I put in a call to the president of the company to express my concerns but didn’t get a call back, I hope RALPH MCCRAKEN calls me back because this is a serious issue that needs to immediately be addressed. I will not post video but I have it ready.

I’ve been to Dick’s Last Resort in other cities, so I get the whole shtick. I was prepared for crude, sexual, sayings on hats and rude bartenders who are annoyed that you even walked in the door.
But Californians are just SO BAD at this kind of humor. The servers here don’t know how to bust your balls and make you LAUGH too. They’re just mean. I was with my guy friend and his girlfriend, who was visiting him from Boston, and a barkeep told us with a straight face that she was uglier than me. That wasn’t funny, just mean and made us all feel super awkward.
The place was totally dead on a Saturday. It assume it will be closed soon. I suggest going to a Dick’s Last Resort in another city where the waitstaff know how to do it right. If for some reason you’re stuck in Fisherman’s Wharf, just go to in-​n-​out — you’ll have a better time there drinking a milkshake. If you are visiting San Francisco and actually think Fisherman’s Wharf is worth checking out, please go to north beach, the mission, the haight, the castro, or anywhere else. Get the real San Francisco experience. The wharf is just an overpriced, tourist trap.

We were in town for a football game (Oregon’s Pac 12 Championship), and we had a day to spend in the city. We were looking for a sports bar in fisherman’s wharf where we could watch the Alabama game, have some drinks, etc (4 of us).
We walk in to no one at the hostess station. Wandered for a bit. Decided to sit ourselves in the bar at a table. A server walked past us at least 4 times, and the bartender (5 ft away from us) ignored us for at least 5 min. Eventually after taking and finishing a phone call, with her back to us, turned her head in our general direction and yelled she would be with us in a minute.
Mind you the place is almost empty, no one is at the bar, and only a small group seated in the bar area. When she finally was able to find some time to talk to us she walked over and said… «here’s the deal, we’ve sarcastic here, don’t take anything we say seriously, we’re dicks». I get it, you’re trying to be funny… but after waiting for almost 15 minutes to have someone help us, it’s not that funny.
She asked us if we’re eating or drinking… we said drinking, and we wanted to watch the game. There are dozens of TV in this place, none were playing the game (#1 team in the nation, SEC championship??) so we politely asked if we could get the game on the TV in front of us.
Her response: «you football A**holes come in hear and always want me to change the channel… if it’s not on one of these 8 channels its a real pain in the a** to find it… oh, wait a minute, the Christmas tree needs my help (server walks over to get a drink order which takes a couple minutes)… I’ll figure out if we can get the game while you figure out what you want to drink.»
Well we already knew what we wanted to drink, but she didn’t ask us and disappeared. At which point we waited for another 5 minutes, and when she returned and began doing other things… we walked out. Right in front of her without a word.
Based on our experience we will never go back to dicks.

If you want to have fun at dinner Dick’s Last Resort is for you! Our waiter, Phillip, was so funny and he had a cute little fake mustache drawn on his upper lip. Shots come in souvenir shop glasses that light up!
We tried all of the dessert options on the menu and the cheesecake was my favorite, followed by the apple crisp thing. This place is lots of fun and has damn good food!

No, no, no, and no. Oh my gosh, how bad is this place? The worst. Do not enter. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars.
It is super expensive, has a loud ugly Tijuana-​like atmosphere, and the service is non-​existent. You will be left to die before someone refills your drink. They will try to entice you on the street with discount cards, but it isn’t worth it. We were fooled, you don’t have to be.

My teens and I had a fun time at Dick’s. We ordered drinks and appetizers and they were no better or worse than what you would get at any other chain restaurant.
I enjoyed the ambiance of the restaurant. There were some gags when trying to find the ladies room– I won’t day more because I don’t want to spoil the fun!
Our waitress was funny and sarcastic and kept us laughing the whole time.
The only issue we had was that the staff seemed to think my kids were older than they are. I did explain that they were 14 and 16 but I think they thought I was joking? The kids were offered alcoholic drinks several times, and told they were «pussies» for saying no thank you. Both girls were given sexually explicit hats, and my 16 year old daughters drink had whip cream on the straw that was made to look like male genitalia.
My 14 year old was really embarrassed about everything and I wont bring the kids back until they are older but I would go back with friends or my husband.

I came here after visiting the one in San Diego with my girlfriend. And of course the one in SF is three times as a group. Their staff was overall crude and hilarious (the whole point of their restaurant)
Drinks are good and they give you awesome coconut or light up cups to take home. Nommed hard on some bomb wings and their chicky fried chicken; best on the menu. But their ridiculously awesome dunce hats are definitely what make this place worthwhile.
On the pricier side of life, but so is every other restaurant in fisherman’s wharf so there was no surprise there. Definitely a place that everyone should try it at least once, but leave your egos at the door!

Awesome place, This f***in olivia as my bartender. Crack me up, different experiences. I got big ass beer, shes throwing my credit card back, throwing my id back. Whole different experience. I love this place. I gave one star for the awesomeness and creativeness they have. There’s 3 of us, we got unique experience, screw the stars ! Keep it up ! Im not being freaking sarcastic like other bithces does. But dick keep the rudeness and funniest crew ! LOL

Pretty Pricy and touristy but i had some fun. Foods pretty good! We ordered ribs!!! hella bomb!!! they did Unfortantly did not give us sauce, you have to ask for everythinf and they be a dick about everything. It suppose to encourage you to comeback for more. It was cool DEFIANTLY NOT FAMILY FRIENDLY!!! You could probably get away with it but Im not sure.
Make sure you check out the Buffalo it has hugh fake balls!!!
The big ass margaritas are really good! Lots of sugar and alcohol! yum!!! The appetizers are really good! And if its your birthday, get yourself or a friend a birthday blowjob! The servers will ask you if its your first timebeing here to see if you know what to expect. They will make you serve food and drinks to other people it is pretty interesting. Some of the staff will see if you want to be messed with, there radar seems pretty good.
Also when u r gettinf take out make sure you get napkins and extra sauce or else it will suck! Also the décor is comical. Some might say its tacky but i think its kind of fun, def a good alternative to those other last resort restaurant generic chain ones. It is alittle rauchy so Im not sure about a classy dinner the staff doesn’t really swear at you

This place would have to get better to suck…
Food was terrible and the service was even worse. Waited 5 minutes for anyone to say a word to us. When they did come by they were douches… it’s called Dick’s not douche’s. Servers running around screaming and yelling at each other, making a$$ holes out of themselves.
And they weren’t even dicks. They were just stupid. It became painful for our server to even stop by the table. Once we discovered that the overpriced food was terrible we left and had dinner elsewhere on the wharf. (By the way Cappuros is amazing)
I would give this place –5 stars if it would let me.
On a positive note the ice in my soda was cold. (They nailed that one)
Bring back the Hooters. Those guys had it nailed.

Barbie is hecca rude lol… had a great tome lookong forward to returning! Crab balls are deeeeliccioussss!

HH between 12p-​6p Mon-​Fri.
First of all our server Zoe was doing her best to be sarcastic, rude, and insulting as expected at Dick’s. She made huge dunce like hats for us with sarcastic sayings both hubby and I wore like good sports.
But because she spoke so quickly, we missed out on what was under HH other than the nachos that we ordered for $ 5.00. Good price for a huge serving.
We got draft beers and inadvertently bought the souvenir glasses that the beer was dispensed in. We read the beer menu which states served in a souvenir glass but it didn’t click in our heads so our big mistake. Why do I want a 32oz glass and a 22 oz glass that says Big Ass Beer from Dick’s Last Resort?
We also got the ribs & wings basket for $ 15.99. Two pork ribs with two chicken wings and two drummettes with French fries. Very small serving.
The nacho chips were very salty so it was a good thing for the Big Ass Beer.
You eat off a paper placemat w/​o any plates. It’s part of the experience. Dick’s interior is as kitschy as it comes. A little of this, a little of that.
Menu prices are high but it’s in a tourist area. Dick resides where Hooters used to be.
We had a $ 25 gift certificate so it helped diffuse the bill of $ 75.00 which included a cute Tshirt with a martini glass on the back side. It’s my souvenir with the two Big Ass Beer glasses.

Okay place if your in the mood for a dick service, the staff are friendly, funny & entertaining. Went in to the place just to have a beer & appetizer. Not sure if id go back.

My family went to Dicks yesterday and had a fun time. I had been before when I lived in San Antonio Texas, so it was fun to visit again. Our server was fun and appropriate (considering we had a 11 and 13 year old with us). I cannot remember her name, but she was an asian woman. She joked around with the kids and made them paper hats. My sons hat said «puberty 45% downloaded» and my daughters said «waiting for Justin Beiber». Ironically, she hates Justin Beiber. Unfortunately for us, my kids like to order off the adult menu now. We used the «lure you in the restaurant «coupon they were passing out outside and still spent 80 bucks. We didnt purchase alcohol, just food. I enjoyed the shrimp and fries, but thought it should have came with coleslaw and bread for the price. My husband had the fish and chips. He said they were decent. My daughter had the ribs and fries. She enjoyed them. My son had the ribs and fries too. He didnt like them. I made him eat them though. All in all we enjoyed our meals. They need to beef up their dinner menu and offer more reasonably priced food options. Offering a salad or slaw with each meal would seem appropriate for the prices charged. In order to remain open and stay competitive with other restaurants in the area, they will need to change a few things.

Okay, they are suppose to be dicks to you — but it was completely opposite. I’ve been to Dick’s a few times before and I don’t know who runs the one in San Fran, but it’s no where near how it should be. We came here for the experience because my cousin has never been to this restaurant. I told her they throw things at your face, give you insulting hats, stick the finger up at you, and are just complete smart asses! It’s fun!
Not on the West Coast, they’re probably too chill for that, that it’s just a plain old normal restaurant. I didn’t see anything except for insulting hats, but not at everyone’s table. If I have to ASK you for hats, then you’re doing something wrong. The food actually sucked here, I got the Philly Cheese Steak. More fat than anything in that sandwich.
The waiter was absolutely friendly though, I’ll give him that. He should be a waiter elsewhere, not here. And then we had another worker running out of the restaurant asking for our number? It was just a bad, bad experience when you WANT the employees to actually be dicks to you. It COULD have been fun. Baltimore, MD Dick’s is recommended. Just proceed with caution because it won’t be the same.

This place is excellent! I’ve been to the one in San Diego and Vegas and now SF I have to say I’m surprised by these epic novels written by people who clearly have way too much time on their hands, but apparently not enough time to give a unique concept a chance. They advertise «service with sarcasm» and that’s what you get, it’s hilarious, if you don’t wanna get made fun of, don’t be a high maintenance bitch… Beers cold, foods good, yah it’s expensive, it’s fisherman’s warf… and the servers may give you shit but they get you exactly what you ask for, and they get it fast. You wouldn’t think so, but they really are great with kids! They basically babysit so you can have a meal. Can’t think of a better place for a parent to rest after a long
day of playing tourist! EAT HERE! You’ll leave with a full belly and a smile on your face!

Been to Dick’s before in Vegas and I loved it. But this one was a bit different. Definitely not as «sarcastic» as the one in Vegas which sucked. I specifically went here for the sarcastic service and it just wasn’t what I thought it would be.
Food was good but defiantly super pricey. I wish they served their full menu all day because their dinner menu isn’t the greatest. If I could’ve last night I would’ve ordered a sandwich or burger but they’re only offer during lunch.
On the bright side servers are pretty cool.

I have seen this place in Vegas I want to say in Excalibur and I always wanted to try it because it looked like a fun time and I was excited to see that there was one here in SF. I’m a little bummed that it took over Hooters but at the same time it’s nice to see a new restaurant come into the area. Walking in I knew this place was going to be a real shi* show lol. All of the signs, shirts and merchandise were real vulgur. The wait staff was very rude and obnoxious but I was told that was part of the whole experience so it didn’t bother me but if I wasn’t told that then my reaction might have been a little different. A person came and put a bib on me and the little paper hat with some writing on my head, it made the experience more fun. I got the shrimp and fries, i wasn’t too impressed because the shrimp were a little on the bland side. Maybe it was just an off day and they had only been open for like a week so I will cut them some slack. I do want to give them at least one more try though and eat something else.

Many restaurants have a gimmick. Dick’s gimmick is that it’s a terrible restaurant.
You are harassed literally the minute you walk in. Maybe some people like this? The waiter attempts to force a bib on every woman in your party. Literally, physically tries to put a bib on customers without warning or consent? I’m no lawyer but it’s difficult to imagine this is even legal.
We stayed just long enough to see the prices for food (expensive) and to be lectured about our request for vegetarian food (they have none because vegetarians are obviously insane).