Impala

Hmmm. This place brought back many memories when my fraternity held a club event here. We got a good number of people to show up, but it was a pain in the ass club because they always frisk you down before you go in.
Anyway, the staff are cool here except they weren’t the best to work with for these club events we held. I guess we weren’t the best to work with for them either because many of our friends after awhile didn’t want to come here anymore. I never saw the problem – it has a nice outdoor smoking area, it’s located near the strip clubs, there are two venues inside the building in case it got crowded, and there was a damn place to put your coat without getting ripped off by coat check! It’s a shame this place is gone, but good riddance!

I hate this nightclub… the environment is crowded… too many ghetto people… hoodrats…i wasted 30 to get in… wasnt even supposed to go to this garbage club… but the one across i was suppose to go to was already packed they werent letting many people in & this was the only one so far that was open… if your ghetto and you like ghetto people by all means go… hoodrats from oakland would love it

Me and my friends decided to come here for my bacholorette party, I was all excited and my cousin called in advance to r.s.v.p for bottle service or whatever. So they told my cousin over the phone (after it took her forever to contact some one) that after we pay for whoever is coming, extra people would be ten bucks each. We get there and the lady my cousin spoke with is being extra rude saying «its 20.00 for extra people» my cousin was like well you didnt say that on the phone and it doesnt say it on the website. The lady then tells my cousin its on the flyer. WTF?! who walks around looking for a club flyer. So any way long story short the lady was being rude, we get kicked out, and this big donkey kong looking guy calls my cousin a bitch. NEVER EVER EVER EVER GO HERE. THEY JUST WANT YOUR MONEY.

(See pics) Review #1259. Came here for the Barchata night. The location, like Coi, draws a lot of misunderstanding, but that’s also why I like it. Just as you think this corner has everything with your imagination, come dance the night away!
The casual, hot and friendly feeling makes this place welcome.

Spent a lot of time in SF and Silicon Valley for work, and have been here a bunch of times.
Over the years, it’s gotten a bit more ghetto, but it’s usually a good time. Weekends can be pretty busy, and it’ll get crowded. Always have gotten good service, but overall don’t expect a lot. If you don’t expect too much, you may end up having a good time.

This place can get pretty ghetto but i still love it. This is really good for groups. Lots of the local strippers come over here so I’m sure the guys are loving it.
It’s loungey up top with a full bar while downstairs is a tiny dance floor area. The music is usually really good; you will break a sweat for sure!
I haven’t tried Salsa night but it seems really fun.

Okay, let’s face it. Impala isn’t the nicest joint in the city, but they have good music and more importantly, Olga! She is the coolest, HOTTEST bartender there!
I only go to Impala for her because she is sweet, attentive, and always on top of her game! You can find her there on the weekend nights when it’s busy. I ONLY go to Impala to see Olga. You should say HI to her for me if you see her next time!

Impala… the nicest way to say what I think about this place is IT SUCKS! Man, I’ve had the worst New Years here. It could not be worst than this place.
I went there early, and I thought that everything would be okay. I did buy a ticket online a month before the event. But it looks like everyone did. That, my friend, is called oversold.
But wait, a long line means a good club, right? Not in this case. Oversold just means oversold. Cramp, packed, stuffy… you name it — it was that! I mean, serious fire hazard status.
Oh yeah, don’t bother asking the bouncers anything at all. I’m serious. Even say one word and they’ll start barking at you. I just wanted to ask how long the line was going to take, but the little bouncer would not stop yelling at me. I didn’t even get a chance to ask. That shows how many people were asking all night. We ended up waiting 2 hours, by the way.
Oh yes, and someone cut the line. Where were the bouncers then? Maybe they were too busy yelling at someone…
But wait, there’s more! We got in and then it’s new years and then… no money drop. What gives? That’s what was advertised but it just never happened. Yes, that’s called false advertising and yes, that is illegal but that’s just how Impala rolls. Who cares about consumer rights because it’s new years, right?
Overall, I thought I’d have a fun time here. I didn’t. This place is such a let down. The only redeeming thing about it is the price. Here’s the lesson learned: cheap tickets disappoint. You might feel like it’s a good deal because their tickets are cheap, but you get what you pay for. I really can not think of a worst NYE venue. Do yourself a favor and just find somewhere better.
P. S. Their drinks suck. Even a monkey knows how to make better Long Islands.

This review is ONLY for the Sunday night Bachata and Salsa. I have never eaten there nor do I have any clue what the drinks are like… all I know is that the salsa downstairs is great on a Sunday night, the sound system is good and dance floor is ok… a bit too small I think but it does the job.
The people are pretty nice, the dancers are good, and I have always had a great time there.

Ok,
So if you asked me how I liked this place while I was there, mid drink and drunkingly humping my best friend on the leg, id probably say *FKING AWESOME!!! :D :D*
But, while I sit here– At work, back from my vacation in San Francisco and broke, I have had time to sit and ponder my Saturday night at this ghetto ass establishment.
Sidenote: If you didnt know, there are different levels of ghetto…
*Conservative Ghetto– The kind you find in San Diego (where I am from :) — They are ghetto, but usually mimicking after someplace else because come on– San Diego is as laid back as you can get.
*Country Ghetto– You know, the ones with the gold teeth, women with orange, purple, and green braids in their hair, or the men with beads entered flawlessly at the bottom of their cornrows.
*unidentifiable ghetto/​Ghetto for no reason-​The ones who jump around like crazy ass wilderbeasts or live their lives simultaneously through E-​40 and Waka Flocka Songs.
When I walked up to this place, I knew I would either have to be drunk or on my p’s and q’s– Because somebody would want to definitely square up… these women were ready to fight. SMH. I didnt let that faze my night though, I decided it was time to get drunk and do it asap. Since it was CROWDED as hell, we decided to get a bottle of Ciroc and party in the VIP (Go hard or go home right?) I think the only reason we even had a good time was because of the music and the fact that we had our own space and bottle of vodka…
I am trying to make my review as unbiased as possible. Somebody stole my cell phone that night and im still pissed about it. But I digress…
If you go, have on your sneakas and be prepared to get hyphy. The music is bayareaowned.
AND FYI– The photographer they hired took a picture of my best friends vagina while she was dancing. LOL. No… im serious. I had to sober up and become an attorney to get that shit erased.
I dont let shit slide, this aint baseball!

Came here this past weekend on Saturday. Let me start with how AWFUL their customer service is. The girl at the register was hella rude to everyone in our group (mind you we all came at different times) she talked to you with an attitude. The bartenders (ladies) need to go back to school to take 101 classes on Etiquette with their customers. IF i could give this place place zero stars I would. They have no class and the people that go there are close to having sex on the dance floor. The place was hot and had no ventilation I opened a window some big guy came didn’t say excuse me and just shut the window. Leaving the club was gross because we actually seen a pimp with his women. I WILL NEVER PAY A DAMN DIME FOR THIS PLACE!
The only thing good was the music!

If you’re looking for a club that plays all Hip Hop in SF. this is the best one. Now, with that comes compromise… keep reading…
This is the best Hip Hop club in SF because it’s consistent. Other venues like Atmosphere, Apt 24, Fluid, etc. will play a mixture of Hip Hop, Top 40, and Mashups and depending on your tolerance you’ll want to slap the DJ or the people next to you who are fist pumping and making you spill your drink. The other venues will only play all Hip Hop based on who is hosting a special party that particular weekend. However, you can go to Impala on any random Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night and be satisfied. The drinks are strong and the bartenders are attentive.
Now, with that said, it can get a lil hood. it is primarily an «urban» crowd so if you’re timid, just stay away. Yes, people are actually dancing on the dance floor. Yes, there are dread-​heads who will occasionally take up all of the room with their hyphiness. Yes, there are girls in spandex bodysuits with red hair like Bozo the clown. Yes, you will find a few OG’s posted up on the wall in white linen suits or their best silk shirt and hat. However, it is still a good time and I always enjoy myself. There is a downstairs VIP area with a separate bar that is nice and like a get away from the crazy good time going on upstairs if you just need to take a break.
My advice is to go with a group of friends you’re cool with and shut it down :) Have a great time, do you, drink A LOT, and everything will work itself out.
**NOTE: Get on the guestlist on the website and arrive before 10pm if possible. Parking for any club on Broadway is ridiculous and you’ll end up driving around for an hour only to be tempted to give in and pay the $ 20 – 50 for a parking lot down the street. Just get there early and park 2 blocks south of Broadway in Chinatown at a meter.

Bartenders are nice enough and make some sturdy drinks
The music is half way decent…
Crowd is a tad rowdy and they get super grimy on the dance floor
No place to sit down unless you have bottle service

Have been here a few times as it’s a regular stop on a friend’s annual party bus (keepin’ it classy). I have no idea why.
Kimora Lee Simmons’ significantly-​less-​attractive sister works as the door manager here (I believe her name is Cindy?), and every year she forgets that our bus is coming and starts freaking out, violently shaking her clipboard above her head and letting out indiscernible war cry-​like sounds as she tries to deny us admission.
Usually a single phone call gets us in, but seriously, do we have to deal with the Drew Barrymore in ’50 First Dates’ act every year?

I’ve been to Impala Lounge a few times for birthdays and just a random night with some friends.
Here the thing with Impala Lounge… It’s pretty small, so when it gets packed– it’s unbearable. You have an option to get bottle service– but it doesn’t really matter– there is no privacy and it’s pricey.
Now, the bartenders and the DJs are pretty cool depending on the night– so no complaints there.
The crowd itself varies from night to night– but the nights I have gone have been Meh…
Probably better to go elsewhere in my opinion ;)

I don’t want to sound mean or anything, but I went last night into this club and there were a lot of overweight people here. Not to say that they are ugly or that I couldn’t have fun with them. It is just something I noticed. Maybe it was just that night. There were a lot of ghetto looking guys here too. Going into the club, they did a full body scan — she touched my boobs, underwear, everything. THAT kind of freaked me out.
Anyway, the music was pretty good and the dancing atmosphere wasn’t bad. I was trying to find some girls for my boy but there were a lot of «grenades» in the club and he didn’t have any wingmen. They have in and out privileges which is pretty sweet.
I went into the bathroom and saw a Mexican woman standing there. At first, I thought she was waiting for the bathroom so I asked her if she is waiting. She said no, and I just went to use the bathroom. I came back out and she offered to put soap in my hand. At this point, I’m a little weirded out because usually only upscale places have assistants in the bathroom.
I could be mistaken, though, and she just thought I was extremely drunk so she helped me out.

I’ve been here a few times, and have always had a great experience the times I came. I guess that the atmosphere and vibe of the place can vary depending on the entertainment which they bring in, but the nights when I have been there they have definitely been on point.
Last nights Iron Bartender competition was a fun way to spend a Tuesday evening in North Beach.
The new Owner’s, seem to be bringing this Gem, back into the spotlight.
(Rome was’nt built in a day folks). Try it out.

Word of advice:
–If a girl pretends not to see you when you are trying to talk to her, she’s not interested.
–If a girl is dancing and you start dancing near her and she suddenly stops or grabs one of her friends and uses that friend as a barrier between you, she clearly doesn’t want to dance with you.
— «Hey, hey, hey» is not going to get you any attention, us females aren’t horses. To add to that, please do not grab my arm and attempt to pull me towards you.
There was a pest of a fella that embodied all of the above that tried following my friend and I around the whole night. He was like a cockroach, despite our clear attempts to rid him, he kept crawling back. As far as the venue, it was «alright». The music needs to be a tad louder and the DJ needs to stop butchering classics with annoying house music and terrible song transitions. As far as the drinks, the bartender really hooked it up. A round of 10 shots of Goose for $ 30. Good times.
–1 because the men inside were sleazy and the dance floor downstairs was closed to the general public so it was a packed. Also, I stupidly drunk texted someone I shouldn’t that night. Stupid, stupid Jackie! Why!!!

Ever supportive of a friend’s romantic endeavors, I accompanied her and some friends to a LevelSF (?) promotion at Impala, playing my part as spotter/​bodyguard/​wingman/​drunkness-​barometer/​default-​dance partner/​flirtation-​baseline/​guy-​in-​pictures-​w/​tongue-​out…
… you know? I was being me.
With access to the VIP area (simply but effectively a bouncer-​secured lower floor), we only briefly passed through the upper/​Broadway level. Sketchy… the vibe on that upper floor immediately rings of meat market; with most of the action converged near the L-​shaped bar or gathered in predatory packs encircling the would-​be dance floor. Adding to the slight «ick» factor, what little ambient lighting there is seems to come from whatever passes through the restaurant windows, leaving dirty deeds to be done in dark places. Thankfully, the lovelies and I were whisked down the stairs and past the velvet rope into the VIP room, a more voguish environ.
Where the décor upstairs is mainly wood and wrought-​iron (great for a restaurant, not so much for a bar/​lounge/​club), the style downstairs (serving as a VIP area) is velvet, leather, and black lacquer, providing a chic departure in both aesthetic, audience, and vibe.
An abundance of seats, couches and booths make the room comfortable and social, while a decent DJ/​playlist stirs up any dancing (not necessarily constrained to any area).
The service at this smaller bar was notably efficient and hospitable; due in parts to the lesser/​controlled occupancy of the VIP area (little more than half the size of the upstairs area) and to the ample-​staffing (3 bartenders and a barback!). We were rarely without drinks…
Cool how friendly and flirtation escalates when the crowd is grown-​n-​secksy, liquor flows, and the vibes are right…
4-​stars for the event; when everything falls into place, it’s good!
3-​stars for objectivity; I know its not always like that.
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Casual air, an easy bar, jumping beats, and a select crowd?
There’s a good time to be had in that.
… and bad drunky pictures.
… and «let’s go eat» car rides.
… and «I don’t remember» mornings.
… and my homegirl? She got her guy… =)

boo.