Sparks

*sing in syllables*
«when you’re drowsy in your car and destination still so far… grab a Sparks. When you’re feeling sorta down and would like to turn around that frown… grab a Sparks. When you hate to brown bag it just say ehhh fogetaboutit and… grab a Sparks. When you’re looking for some blow but funds are looking low… grab a Sparks.»
Ode to Sparks…
In all of Gods orange glory there lies Sparks.
Born and bread in the US of A, well… Milwaukee.
You can be found at many shady convenient marts.
Your companionship never wavers during long road trips socal to norcal or even through Kentucky.
You bestow relaxation during sport/​music venues via pants with deep pocketed parts.
Your 6% alc. by vol malt liquor goodness cuts the edge from the stresses of life.
You provide that energy boost with your stimulants of caffeine
Your incognito appearance lets you travel many streets by foot in clear sight.
Vitality through natures extracts is your game including ginseng and even taurine.
You come in many non discriminating orientations like original and light.
I will forever keep you in my heart and liver…

Ah Sparks… the family drink.
We served it at our wedding reception. No joke. Sorry Lacey Community Center.

5 stars for the wide awake drunk effect, especially when mixed with vodka or wine, or both
Minus one star for feeling eggy the next day

Dude, you can like get drunk and like make your heartbeat fast and stuff.
Radical to the EXTREME!!!
Zipzap Zubidydubidygubidy Bop!

I like it «Edward Sparkshands» style, ie: duct taped into each hand. My theory is its the Yellow No. 5 that gives Sparks its sucker punch.
Note: I once beer bonged Sparks. Do not attempt.

So good bums ask for it by name.

bleah, seriously.
Who drinks this crap?
Every once in a while I see people drinking it in a paper bag while sitting on the sidewalk downtown… I don’t even think winos drink it so it must be for the fratboy party set.

Amen brother.

If you know me, then you know my good friend Sparks.

you taste so disgusting… How could you?

Geez… i dont even know what to say about sparks. Our nights usually start with one, end with the fourth really late night… thats when stuff starts to get weird. All of a sudden you are doing things you dont know why, and say, «all i had was 2 beers». its the sparks kid… its the sparks.
I guess the love for sparks really stemmed from our friend who worked at a bar who wouldnt sell it, and came over with three cases. We had 75 sparks in our kitchen, and those didnt last very long. Made for some memorable evenings.
The only thing i could do without is the orange sparks mouth… but do people complain about purple wine mouth? no so i guess i should either.
You all know the game Edward 40-​hands? where you tape 40’s to your hands and the first one to finish both wins, and has use of their hands again? We played Edward Sparks Hands. I won. Much easier than the 40-​hands game id imagine… and much more fun.

«Spark it up!»
That phrase used to mean only one thing to me. Now it means two.
I actually prefer Sparks light. Not for the low calories, but because it tastes a little less like syrup and a little more like Tang.
I agree with the other reviewers who draw comparisons to coke. This stuff will draw you in, send you flying, and leave you craving more. But at $ 2 a hit, its affordable… I bet thats what the CIA was thinking when they introduced crack to the ghetto.

So I love the idea, but this stuff is pretty foul unless ya like the taste of children’s aspirin mixed with vitamin C tablets, you’ve found your drink. Taste aside, if you’re looking for the fast track to peppy drunken idiocy all you need is 3 – 4 of these and a camera to have a night you’ll need the photographs to remember

Four stars for being a conceptually insane drink… though I am not really a fan of it in practice.
I had about one can of the stuff, and it tastes like super-​synthetic orange pop, and made me more wobbly than anything else. I ended up drinking straight sugar-​free redbull for the rest of the night just to regain normal awareness — undistilled malt beverages are not my thing. Next time it will be back to Greygoose/​redbull.
As the lyrics in one of my favorite songs go:
«Drink champagne and vodka — stick to what you know.»

Liquid cocaine! Tasty, cheap, and gets you totally high!

I tried to fight it but Sparks is just so tastey. It gets you super wrecked, for about $ 2 and you get an orange tounge to boot! How hot is that? Sparks light is good also, nothing tops the OG.
P. S. It is way better when there is a paper bag around the can.
P. P. S. I have found that the best way to enjoy this is by drinking off a bit of the orange SPARKS and then pouring in about a quarter of a bottle of ‘codeine cough syrup’ (purple stuff). Yes, I am 26 and I have a problem. Enjoy.

Cheaper & easier to obtain than coke, Sparks is a FINE way to start an evening.