Patrick G

I was going to give him five stars until I realized Faith disclosed that sad fact that he pronounces library as «liberry.» What else man?!? Do you say «bisghetti» too?
Honestly though, who doesn’t appreciate a man with a wit as sharp as babies fingernails, killer taste in hats, an affinity for bong hits and chips and 456 reviews to-​date?
Oh, really? Well, I don’t appreciate YOUR FACE, BITCH.

Patrick G drinks my coffee.
He is truly a king among all men (well those that aren’t already kings)
*heart*

From his first review I knew we had something special on our hands. Why, this young man cranked out 70 some odd reviews in under a week! It smelled like OCD, but I am here to tell you my friends — it reads like pure genius.
From his self-​reflexive and insightful musings on the life of a thread and those who kill them (
) and his hard-​hitting expose on Flaggers and their petty little souls (
) to his informative, yet slightly disturbing review of the Tibetan monastery in Ballard (
) and his classic piece on Gorilla Glue (
) — Patrick keeps us all reading and clicking and complimenting and thinking. Thinking hard about what he might be smoking, or snorting, or shooting up between his toes.
A true Unilocalatonian.

Until I meet him face-​to-​face I am still convinced he is a hyper-​literate deranged robot with a killer sense of humor and an endless amount of time on his hands*. Even if he is a robot, I’d still take him over that annoying-​ass kid from A.I. any day.
*This statement based on the fact that he has written 450+ reviews since OCTOBER ’07!
Update April 2008: He came to the Piece of Crap HH at Baranof! Sad to say, he is a real person. Not a robot. I’ve always wanted to meet a robot in person (or is it in robot?).

one Unilocaler thought he was my cousin.
Zipzap Zubidy Bop!

Since bounding onto the local Unilocal scene only a month or so ago, he’s been cracking me up! Totally writing machine — whether it’s Vic Morrow’s head (
) or Jimi Hendrix’s other head (
) or an actual legit review (too many to list) — all are pure gooooooold.
I need some of his Unilocal-​roids to pump up my writing muscles!
Great events posted too. :)
***UPDATE***
And if you read his own review of himself, you can see how humble he is also. :P
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