Squirrels Buy-Sell

A HAIKU REVIEW
Creepy garage sale
Indoors with creepy staffing
It haunts my nightmares

A little more than a year ago, I asked the woman behind the counter how much the cool old typewriter in the window was. She stoically replied, «One hundred and twenty-​five dollars. And it needs a new ribbon.» Okay, I can understand the new ribbon requirement, but $ 125 dollars? Really? Every time I pass by the store, I see it in the window and I feel sad… but it doesn’t really seem like Squirrels Buy-​Sell is willing to relinquish it yet.

Um. I never noticed this place before, even though I lived in Greenwood for 2 years and go by there all the time. I don’t know how I missed it; it has this obnoxious storefront that rivals Stupid Prices. Looks like it might have some gems, thought I, and went there this morning in the hunt for some sweet White Elephant gifts.
Took me .7 seconds to figure out that it would have nothing I’d want, or at least would want to spend hours clawing around to find. A tiny cramped space and dust covering everything.
The problem was, being the only person in there, the woman working immediately started talking up their Christmas sale, meaning all items were discounted because the owner ‘didn’t want any of it back next year’ because some of it had been there ‘since we opened 12 years ago.’ Wow, good selling point.
So I felt obligated to at least look around, even compelled to buy something, anything, because there was no WAY this place would make it to its 13^th year. But all of the items I dared to pluck off the shelves were way overpriced. The only remotely cool thing I found were these little antique license plate things with names on them – really old-​fashioned names like Dwight and Carl, Yolanda, etc., for only $ 1.38. But what would I do with those, short from choosing them for my future baby’s names and buying them in advance?
I had to just smile apologetically, thank the nice lady, and tiptoe out and across the street to Bartell, where all of my White Elephant needs were met – kitschy and ridiculous, sans the dust!

I think Squirrels is a great place to find rare collectibles that many different people in my family obtain. It doesn’t have a huge selection, but they do take care to find the things that collectors are searching for and either put it in their store front or advertise it on Ebay. Plus, the workers are really friendly and nice to talk to!

OK, so the reason Squirrels stays in business is that they buy and sell estates. They buy EVERYTHING… the good stuff apparently goes on EBay or to upscale shops… everything else goes to the store front.
That’s why it’s like looking through a junk drawer. Most of it was in one.
There might be something interesting, but you’re going to have to move a lot of paperclips, pencils, and sticky unknowns to get to anything good.

I love junk shops and second hand everthing stores.
But I hate this place! WHY… you may be askin’?
I merely asked this guy about the lit-​up pumpkins in his window (there were a bunch) because I was looking for décor for my own needs and he was such a total JERK that I swore to never again darken his door.
OK, so you DON’T sell them; they are just there for decoration. You didn’t need to talk to me like I was a complete idiot and rudely tell me to go to the drugstore because these things are supposedly so fuckin’ easy to find. Hell with you, the window (of your store… supposedly where you SELL STUFF — how stupid of me to enquire about BUYING something on display in your window) was full of the fuckers and I assumed (what a moron I am) that you might be… oh, I don’t know… SELLING THE FUCKING THINGS. My mistake. I won’t bother you again.

I finally figured out what they sell at Squirrels Buy –Sell: Uncomfortable Situations.
You walk into the little shop and wonder if you haven’t wandered into someone’s rec room. Dusty stuffed bears peek out at you from behind glass cases, the smell of musty paperbacks fills the room, and you can’t even find one thing in the whole place to pretend to feign interest in for long enough to constitute a real shopping experience so just get the hell out of there before you have to make conversation.
Someone should have warned me about this place — so now I’m warning you, good Unilocaler.

What the fuck is up with Squirrels Buy-​Sell? I would give them 1 star except for their mural outside is burnt into my memory and their window display is awful /​genius.
We have toured the inside of the «store» exactly once. It is the worst aspects of a thrift-​store combined with the worst aspects of an antique store.
They know there business though as they are still in the game while the hip «Plastic Passion» came and went.