Razzy’s

Dive bar haiku:
Sunset — Somerville.
End of lease, end of your world.
Rest in Peace, Razzy’s

I’m probably the second-​to-​last to hear the news: Razzy’s is closing at the end of May, a.k.a. in T-​24 hours. I wasn’t going to review before visiting the joint again, but in my ripe old age, I haven’t mustered the energy to go back.
But when I did go, all of two times, these awesome things happened:
*i narrowly escaped my car being towed ($ 70 later, ugh)
*i watched girls try to figure out how much cash to take out at the ATM and say, «oh, who cares if it overdraws my account?»
*i sang «a whole new world» with a gay man
*popcorn!
*the Red Sox clinched a playoff berth (that was 09, I believe)
*mullet-​haired bartender woman sang «We are the champions»
*i drank beer, by the pitcher full!
They have a martini glass forming the «y» in Razzy’s on their sign.
Just sayin.’

I’ve lost a lost of bars, my friends. I’ve lost a lot of good, good bars, and that’s why I appreciate every goddamned night at a good, good bar. That’s why I’ve felt lucky every night I’ve walked into Razzy’s. But it nevertheless kills me to write another obituary of a bar that dies much too young.
This bar is close enough to feel a part of my house, an alternative to walking to the fridge, to sitting in front of the television, to watching it snow alone. When it was Jon’s Place, a few years ago, drunks fought on the sidewalk at noon, and bad money got handed around at the barstools. The neighbors — us included — stayed away for our own good.
But then Nancy and Ruth took over, and against all odds, turned things around, and made something great for four or so brief and beautiful years.
This came to be our living room on cold evenings, warm nights, bored Thursdays, and Mondays when we wanted just about exactly eight people around us to have a beer with.
I learned to play Yahtzee here, and my girlfriend and I had dice and paper at home but still preferred to walk a block and play the set down here.
We held the #1 top records on Wordster, Mystery Phrase, Word Safari, and most definitively Erotic Photo Hunt (until that bastard RedBear got us – we’ll get him back one day).
We played trivia countless weeks, probably setting a record for most second-​place finishes, happily losing after all the fun of the chase, and finally took the top prize only when it was probably too late to spend the whole gift certificate.
We ate bowl after bowl of popcorn right after dinner, and when more was put in front of us and we said we’d had too much already, we ate it anyway and loved not only eating it but that they cared enough to give it to us for free. We salivated over its smell mixed with the candles that made it smell like a holiday all year round.
We drank pint after pint of delicious imported Molson Canadian beer for prices below cheap, in glasses lovingly frosted for us beforehand. I wish I was having one right now.
We loaded up that jukebox time after time, and never tired of «Far Away/​Long Time» even after the 34^th play or so. And I learned to get through that stinking Journey song you people love to play with mostly just a roll of the eyes.
We sat in there and looked at all the fun, friend’s-family’s-basement décor, warm and simple beer lighting, the glow of various machines (popcorn, video, jukebox, TV…) illuminating postcards and posters and the curt flyers telling you to behave and be an adult, and listened to first dates, to old friends, to study groups and guys on the prowl plotting their moves, and we thought, what a great, great place to end up.
An mostly, mostly by far, we enjoyed the hospitality of Ruth and Nancy and their family and friends — our extended friends, really — who took a bar that was a complete mess and worked hard to make it a rare and special place — unpredictable, fun, homey, hospitable, affordable, welcoming, comforting, and happy.
If you have a moment before the end of May, please stop and tell these people what a great job they have done. They made our lives noticeably better for a few years. We will miss them dearly.
For years to come, when I happen into towns around this world, I will remember well and pray that I am lucky enough to stumble into places that welcomed me like Razzy’s. Godspeed and thank you, friends.
PS — Sorry, never could stand the sorry-​ass effort so many of you karaōke singers put in. But those weekend nights when you came were always a good old time anyway, so no hard feelings.

I know this is Unilocal’s favorite dive bar in Somerville. And I love the cheap Molson, the free popcorn and the salty regulars. And I love that I can walk here from Davis. I love lots of things about Razzy’s.
But the karaōke’s just no good. The selection is awful — not just by my jaded standards, but missing plenty of obvious pop favorites you’re sure would be there. The regular KJ takes about five minutes to switch between each song, fumbling through the loose stack of paper on his table and then searching through a giant pile of laserdiscs. What is this, 1996?
And yet, AGAINST ALL SENSE AND REASON, Razzy’s Karaōke has become unnaturally popular. If you go here on a Friday or Saturday and you don’t get here before 9:30, forget it. You’ll wait in line. You’ll wait on the torn up Somerville Ave sidewalk (under construction since 1988) for an hour or more to get into a bar with $ 2 Molson and free popcorn.
Protip: if there’s a karaōke night here, I’ll still go. Of course I’ll go. I’m a sucker for it. It’s a disease and I’ve come to terms with it.

Great dive bar with Rapscallion on tap, cheap pitchers, funky spray painted walls, über cool bottle cap mural, and karaōke of course!
Fri. night karaōke was good time enjoyed by all at out table. The beer was flowing, notes were way off key, lots of forgotten lyrics, ear drum deafening music and awesome dance moves! Overall a very successful first karaōke experience in Boston!
My only beef was we had a singer at our table that didn’t get called but other people we called a few times! What gives? =(
Oh well maybe next time…

I have recently been frequenting Razzy’s for weekend karaōke and have yet to be disappointed. We showed up around 8 on Friday this weekend and the upstairs was dead originally but filled up with in 45 minutes (which was perfect for slipping a few karaōke requests in before the crowds rushed the DJ). The karaōke selection is a little lacking compared to other places like Courtside, but overall it’s still decent.
Before karaōke-​ing, I asked how the burger was at the bar, and was instructed to get the chicken sandwich instead, which was a complete win. I’m a big fan of being what to told what to get at places where the bartenders have actually tried the food they serve (which also speaks to the fact that the food in general there doesn’t suck).
It’s a little dive-​y (a plus in my book), shots are cheap ($ 4.50 — which definitely worked *against* me on this particular evening, but that’s a more different ass), and the staff is really friendly and wiling to deal with me and my drunken hooligan friends. I would give them 4.5 stars if I was able.
Yay Razzy’s!

To sum it up: It’s cheap, it’s fun, it’s a neighborhood joint, and it’s not trying too hard.
My neighborhood dive bar? It just might be. A hop, skip, and jump away from my house lies this cozy little dive bar. Not just any dive bar, though, it’s a neighborhood dive bar. Locals, and regulars that get wicked territorial when a big group of unfamiliar faces rolls in. It’s off the beaten path enough, that you don’t have a lot of ‘out for a night’ traffic. People that are going there, want to be there… they aren’t just stopping in, or ‘trying it out’.
I alos think the more territorial regulars get, the better dive, it is. Why else would they want to protect it? Free popcorn reminded me of ‘The Dame’ in Lexington (Kentucky, y’all), There was even a chick there in a Kentucky hoody, who I’m pretty sure was drunk in my dorm room one night freshman year (my roommates friend of a friend of a friend or something). I should have asked her if ‘Blanding Tower’ rang a bell.
The Karaōke is great because its the kind of place where people who are bad go to do karaōke, not one of those places where people who can sing do karaōke. The worse you are, the more friends you’ll make.
I picked up a Magic Hat #9 for 4 bucks, they had shot deals (red headed sluts, washington apples, and kamakazi’s) If i was 21 again, I would have needed an escort home cause i wouldn’t be walking… let alone driving.
ps People that run around with pitchers and possibly even drink from them (you know who you are), you are my hero.

Remember when you were in college, and you lived in this sort of run-​down apartment with a hole in one wall where you could see the wiring, and the bathroom was kind of smelly, but it had one of those old fashioned toilets that was made out of world war 2 submarine hardware, and the doors were just all kind of the wrong size, like just a liiiiittle too small, and it was built on a hill so like the back half was up a couple of weird stairs, and the carpet was totally stained in places but whatever, and all your furniture was from like 1978 but it totally worked and so, you know, whatever?
This is like that place, except it’s a bar with nice people and free popcorn and a karaōke scene like you read about.

Ironic plaid.
Okay, okay, there’s more to Razzy’s than that. But for realz, on busy nights, your eyes WILL be assaulted by hipsters, and lots of ‘em. It’s all good, though: for the most part, the patrons are friendly (the exception being a thirty-​something white trash couple who tried to pick a fight with my friend… lame). Razzy’s has cheap drinks, too — you can’t argue with that.
What I’m not crazy about is how busy this place gets on karaōke nights (and probably other nights too, but I’ve only gone for karaōke). Unless you get there mega-​early, you will be confronted with a line out the door. Dude — this is RAZZY’S, not effing Studio 54. This tiny dive gets packed to the brim with people, and that’s overwhelming for me. Razzy’s is good fun, but there’s no way in hell I’m gonna give it more than three stars. Sorry guys, I just haven’t drunk the Kool-​Aid yet.
P. S. — The popcorn is overrated.

As far as dives go, this place is definitely solid.
Two rooms, one a little more quiet, and the back has another bar and a little more action happening. Came here for an unofficial Unilocal karaōke event, and I’m not sure whether it was the bar or the awesome group of Unilocalers that came out, but it was an especially awesome karaōke evening! The crowd was all very into the music, singing along, waving lighters, and «wooo“ing to friends and strangers. Drinks are good and cheap — if I lived closer, you can bet I’d be here frequently. Minus a star cuz it’s really far from the T and also cuz, well, it’s a dive. Can a dive ever really be 5 stars?

Birds do it
Bees do it
Even tiny little fleas do it
Let’s do it
Let’s go to Razzy’s…
Razzy’s puts a skip in my step. I don’t know if it’s the diverse karaōke choices, or the cheap pitchers of beers, or the free popcorn, or the pure knowledge that I will be hungover and hoarse for the next four days, but you can’t deny the feeling of cameraderie that Razzy’s evokes. The world may crash and fall apart, but Razzy’s will still be there, and you can be assured that I will still be at Razzy’s.

I’ve been to Razzy’s several times but I did not realize the magic until the last time with my fellow Unilocalers.
I’ve never been a big fan of karaōke since, quite frankly, I can’t sing. I think I was able to sing back when I was in my elementary school chorus, but then puberty set in and my Michael Jackson days were over.
When I walk into Razzy’s to where they have the karaōke, with it’s low ceiling and spray painted décor, it reminded me of an abandoned basement even though you walk up to the room. They have a decent stocked bar, beer that can be ordered by the pitcher, and complimentary popcorn. So I’m feeling warm and fuzzy, and thinking that I would leave before my name is called up (thanks to Damien S), my name is called up. Damien and I head up, and on the way I grab a couple other Unilocalers, and before you know it we are on. Soon others join in (thanks to Damien’s song selection) and I’ve done my first ever karaōke song in public. Didn’t hurt at all :)
It’s apparent that many large groups head to Razzy’s with it’s convenient location near Porter Square T, a good bartender, and a congenial atmosphere once things get going. It’s like the best parties I’ve been to back in my day.

This is telling: when I tried to look up Razzy’s on Unilocal to write a review, I spelled it wrong. So I just gave up and typed in «dive bar» and Razzy’s was #1.
And that’s what this place is, and it basks in the magnanimous glory of it. I came here when I was bar hopping Friday night, and it was already about midnight. We went to the backroom where the karaōke is, and the people were sloshed and yelling and singing their hearts out. The free popcorn was all over the floor and empty drink glasses on every table.
If my life were a movie, Razzy’s would probably be where I would go unsuspectingly and find a portal to another time period, or a space alien in disguise who gives me a quest. You know. Razzy’s is just one of those places that so very much is what it is. And it’s great. Go. Definitely drink a lot. Have fun.

Razzys, my closest friend! And not just because you’re literally outside my door.
Cheap Beer, Travia, Karoke, a nice collection of locals and post college grad crowd, and pop corn.
One of the best places to just chill with drinks.

A dive, but a right proper dive. A bit cramped, but the drinks are cheap and good, the popcorn is free, the food is fried, karaōke is loud, and the bartenders are friendly.
The place was surprisingly chill when I showed up late Saturday night. There’s a stack of board games behind the bar, and the couple next to me was playing a game of Scrabble.
Also, I second those who gave props to Rapscallion. Refreshing and delicious.

How have I NOT reviewed Razzy’s.
First, it’s a bar… in a house. I find that extremely interesting, not too mention it completely explains why one has to walk up an off level carpeted ramp, just to get to the back room. Did I mention I fall 9 out of 10 times going up or down that damn ramp. Just like at Grandma’s!
Their Karaōke list isn’t the most extensive and they really need to wipe down the binders that hold them. Yet, once you hear the dude that works there belt out the first song of the night, you know it’s time for business. Plus, they have popcorn.
I’ve heard rumors that Karaōke dude isn’t too particular of a certain person, because she… I mean they… wouldn’t let him sing back-​up for her… I mean them. At one point, he may have limited her, them, to only one song a night and started to limit her, I mean their, friends. Not a problem, we, I mean they, just write on our slips things like, «us», «The girls «, «Your mom», and «me and my friends.»
Their drinks are strong and cheap, you never wait too long for them either. If you are in the mood for dumpy, a little bit of awesome, and a night with 20 of your local friends from the ‘ville…come to Razzy’s. Sure you’ve already been.

Razzy’s is the place where I got my first legal drink when I turned 21 this past summer. Out of all the bars I could have went to in the Boston area I made it a point to go to this hole first.
I have a very special place in my heart for Razzy’s. You can get a stiff drink for as little as $ 4.50 and a pitcher of Molson for $ 8.00. I don’t go to Razzy’s for a classy night out on the town. I usually leave being very close to blackout drunk and smelling like popcorn (all you can eat) and broken dreams.
As someone else has said here, the bathrooms really just are good enough.
The mix of people that go to this bar is pretty interesting. Some nights it will just be you and a couple of drunks. Some nights you drown in a sea of skinny jeans.
I’m a fan of the karaōke if I have had enough to drink. Otherwise it’s always fun to just stay downstairs with the drunks and play NWA’s «Fuck The Police» on the jukebox.

This place is a little horrifying, but in the best way possible. I’d never been here, and I can understand why-it’s pretty much smack dab in the middle between Porter and Union where it’s really quiet. I showed up with Bryan, who was in full drag, and the ladies at the downstairs bar clearly got a kick out of it. We went upstairs and it was filled with some townie doodes hanging out. To get upstairs, you have to walk by the kitchen, which is an experience… it’s kinda like walking by a make shift kitchen that someone sets up in a dorm room.
The setting is crazy, with spray painted designs on the walls and awesome Coors light fixtures. There’s dart boards, and I am sure someone’s lost an eye in this establishment. Drinks are dirt cheap, but really, $ 7 pitchers of Molsen are the way to go… they physically have the keg on the floor and have to pump it. It’s delicious booze water. I drank half a pitcher before I realized what I was doing.
Definitely come with a group for karaōke! It was really fun! Highlights of this adventure were Russ, Damien, Jessika, Orly, straight Brian’s Magic Carpet Ride and Bryan with a Y and his White Rabbit.

This place is awesome. They only have 3 beers on tap, but how many do you need, really? They’re helping you by limiting your choices, because Razzy’s knows that you would probably choose Harpoon IPA ($ 3.25/pint), Bud Light, or Molson ($ 2.00/pint) anyway.
Cheap Beer (with a great IPA option for the beer snobs)? Check.
Free Popcorn? Check.
Crusty bar wenches that love to give you attitude? Check
A fairly local and somewhat unpretentious crowd? Check.
Several TVs scattered about so that you can watch the big game? Check.
Pub Quiz on Thursday? Check.
Their back room resembles a small cafeteria, except uglier, and it has a giant projection TV and a small bar to accommodate the pub quiz nights (and probably karaōke nights, too, but I avoid karaōke like an STD). A little word of advice — order your pints from the front room bar, because they always serve it in frosty glasses, as opposed to the plastic solo cups in back.
As far as food goes, if it’s not deep fried then they probably don’t have it, which is fine by me. They used to have corn dog and onion ring specials on trivia night, but I don’t know if they’re still doing it. I recommend the fried raviolis!
Overall, I would give this place 5 million stars if I could, but that would throw off the rating system. And it’s not possible. I can only imagine that this place is named after the award given to the worst movie each year, but this place definitely deserves an Oscar for ‘the best performance by a Dive Bar!’

This place is gross. Gross gross gross gross. Every single time I get dragged to this dump («dive» is way too generous of a term here), I swear it’s the last time, but the cheap beer keeps luring me back. It feels like a frat house packed with drunks in an attic waiting to sing «Total Eclipse of the Heart» so they can look cool and «impov» the word fuck into the song. Oy.
One star for cheap beer and another for erotic photo hunt. Negative stars for smelling like both feet and a urinal at the same time and the need to take a long, hot shower when the night is over.
Until we meet again, Razzy’s…