Jacobs Mindy PHD

My partner and I left every couples therapy session with our relationship weaker, not stronger, and each feeling worse about ourself and the other person. Dr. Jacobs did not seem especially caring or interested in us as individuals; she projects a sour, humorless demeanor. I had a bad feeling about her from the first session and should have heeded this instinct. Foolishly, however, we continued to trust her, and after fewer than ten 45-​minute sessions, we had an interaction during therapy that led immediately to our breakup.
Dr. Jacobs’s website promises to start by exploring each person’s relationship history and family background. Sounded great to me and my partner, especially since these were obvious factors in many of our problems. But did she ever even do five minutes of that with us? No. Instead, it was always, «Partner A, what are your complaints about Partner B?» «Partner B, now repeat back Partner A’s complaints about you.» Reverse, rinse, and repeat, week after week. Really helpful — NOT! — especially since each of us had issues with self-​esteem and sensitivity to criticism. No wonder things continued to spiral downward for us after each session.
After the breakup, Dr. Jacobs encouraged us to come in for another session — only to continue egging us on to vocalize our very worst criticisms of the other person, supposedly so that we could each help the other «learn something about himself.» Not surprisingly, that final session ended with each of us in absolute hell, having said things we couldn’t take back, feeling simultaneously angry, guilty, shameful, and miserable. (And with Dr. Jacobs running my ex-partner’s credit card for yet another $ 225, the only moment in each session where she seemed to perk up and pay much attention.) My ex-​partner and I both still care about each other and want to stay friends, but the «care» we received at the hands of Dr. Jacobs, and the regrettable things she encouraged us to say in therapy, may make even this a challenge.
In short, you should entrust your relationship to Dr. Jacobs only if you are looking for a lazy, insensitive, unobservant, paint-​by-​numbers therapist. Maybe that will turn out better for you than it did for us – good luck.