Panda Break

I should start with a bit about myself. After suffering many sports related injuries while growing up, my body/​system is incredibly difficult to work on and I rarely find someone who can make a lasting impact. There’s a little traffic noise, an air conditioning unit, plenty of natural light. She talks to you instead of whispering in your ear. I don’t care for the theatrics of a fancy spa, especially if they won’t actually work the kinks out of my shoulders.
I’ll definitely be back!

This week I was in search of a new massage therapist since my regular moved to the east side of town. I had a great and very professional massage in NYC at a place described just like this. It was inexpensive and amazing. So, I checked out the location, which, there are three in Albuquerque. This location happens to be in the Cottonwood mall. I felt that it must be successful and for sure safe if it was in a high rent site, like a mall.
I couldn’t have been more wrong about the success of this place. I should’ve known when I walked in from the empty shelves and empty building and that no one in there could speak English, that I should leave. Truth is, the price of $ 50 just seemed appealing. The man greeted me with a menu and a few massages to chose from. I picked the Deep Tissue Massage. ($ 50) for one hour. So, he takes me back to these rataan cubicles with make-​shift doorways. He couldn’t communicate with me so I had no idea if I was supposed to leave my clothes on or take them off. I decided that I would take off my clothes and hope I didn’t scare the crap out of him, or get kicked out. The sheet I used to cover myself with was so sheer, it was almost see-​through. I was officially getting scared. Geez. I laid down on the table as fast as I could, thank goodness, because he walked back in instantly! Still, he has said nothing to me. I had to listen to all the noise pollution on the outside of the suite where the Cottonwood Kid’s Train chugged by every few minutes and the sound of crowds walking by, all while I am completely naked 100 feet away with wicker walls to shelter me. The first 30 minutes of the massage was completely over the sheet. I could not relax with wondering if I shouldn’t have undressed and all the mall noise. If that wasn’t enough, the therapist’s phone rang twice and he answered it both times! What?! The next 30 minutes he dry massaged my desert dehydrated skin until he got to my hands where he placed a pea sized drop of lotion in my palm and he never touched my feet. I have never had an experience like this during a massage. The whole experience cost me $ 63 with tax and tip. As if the see-​through sheet wasn’t enough of a tip already. I highly recommend not trying this place.