Gertrude Hawk Chocolate Shops

Man, Gertrude Hawk (what a great name for a fictional battleaxe teacher!) is the nicest den of culinary sin I’ve ever wandered into. It’s The Best Little Whorehouse in… Pennsylvania, except the… um…ladies of the evening are in fact chocolate candies.
‘Well, which one ya want?” A jovial middle-​aged woman asks, waving her hand at the treats on display.
A gaggle of comely Rice Krispie treats, coated in the good stuff in various styles and mounted on sticks are what I avert my gaze to.
«I like… her, I mean, this one.»
I buy it and stare at it, admiring how the chocolate is drizzled on it with the flair of a fashion designer.
We then went off to a bedroom where I had her walk on my back in high heels, pretend to be Catwoman, and play a game of checkers with me. Then I brushed her hair until the hour was up.
Oh wait, that’s Cathouse.
No, Ms. or Mrs. Hawk took something that is commonplace, so much so that convenience stores sell them for those who can’t or won’t cook, enameled it in their extraordinary chocolate, and turned it into something any epicurean would go radio ga-​ga (all we hear is…) over if served on a plate after an expensive meal.
Crackly, pliant, velvet erotica in a wrapper, I fell so rapidly, intensely in love I wanted to marry her, rescue her from her life.
Oh wait, that’s Pretty Woman.

Good service, cute items.
Prices are decent, and there’s a decent variety.
They dip lots of fun stuff like strawberries, cherries, and oreos, among other things. There’s also a lot of individual truffles and pieces in their case to choose from, although all the ones I got were incredibly sugary-​sweet. Too sweet? Yes, but still very good.
I would go with the chocolate dipped oreos, and the 99 cent bars of chocolate. Those come in lots of flavors and are enough for a dessert in themselves.