Haunted Pumpkin Garden : New York Botanical Garden

Ray, oh Ray, were you too busy thinking of your Halloween costume for the parade, or too busy carving up pumpkins for the moneyed Elite who pay you bigger bucks? Maybe you were so worn down from having to shovel soil, as sis and I saw you do the week prior when you were prepping. Because this year, your haunted pumpkin display was definitely uninspired and not up to par for a man of your talents, and that of your skilled team of pumpkin carvers. I know you had to stick to the Day of the Dead theme, but this was simple compared to the intricate tableaus you’ve designed in the past. For comparison, in 2012, you had the ghoul carved from pumpkin dragging out pumpkin ghouls from the ground. My entire family went and spent a long time ogling, photographing and pondering how you created such a work of art. Mom and sis went again. We talked about it for days, Told friends. That was a five star masterpiece. We followed your carvings at NYBG religiously after that, flocking like supplicants to the Haunted Pumpkin Garden every year after. We have noticed your designs becoming simpler. I guess the cost of fame. Maybe you have too many projects to spend too much time for NYBG. Seriously, this year, it took me all of 5 minutes to take in the sculpture. I texted sis the pic. Sis said, «there’s no other stuff?» Yes, there were, giant, intact pumpkins that while cool to see, would only be awe inspiring if they were rolling down a hill ready to flatten me. I’m no Charlie Brown. I don’t wait for the the Great Pumpkin. I long for the return of the Michaelangelo of Pumpkin Carvers.

I visited the Haunted Pumpkin Garden exhibit at the New York Botanical Garden last night because I’m actually an 8-​year-​old girl in a 156-​year-​old professional’s body. I read the descriptions for the event repeatedly and I had no clue it would be in the children’s garden. So as a single woman sans children repeatedly stepping over 2 feet to 3 feet mini people, I looked a bit conspicuous.
Regardless, I would visit the Haunted Garden again. In addition to complementary flashlights and a decent amount of organic chocolate, gummy bears and juice boxes at at each station, the amount of monstrously gigantic pumpkins was in the dozens.
I counted at least a dozen pumpkins that weighed over 100 pounds with the biggest monster either being grown in 2008 or weighing 2,008 pounds (a close runner up was an 800 pound white pumpkin) while my favorite massive pumpkin had a hand carved, man-​shaped pumpkin zombie crawling out of it.
They also had gigantic gourds that wound like octopus tentacles, naturally grey and shiny pumpkins the likes of which I have never seen, large dancing skeletons operated by people and my new boyfriend, a troll named Mute. To my knowledge the exhibit ends on Halloween, so go in the daytime or at night, but definitely go or you have to wait another year to see it.