Patois

I never actually ate at Patois, but they let me film my intermediate NYU film there, no holds barred. Here’s a link to the film I made so many years ago. I think it captures the essence of what you all say the place was like. My only regret, was that I didn’t get them a copy of the film before it closed.

To me, Patois set the standard for what Smith St. is, or was. Back in ’97-’98 It was one of the first pioneer restaurants to really set foot on Smith St., along with Rosina’s Bristro (you old timers, remember that place?). From there the neighborhood exploded, and it was places like Patois that sorta set the feel for what Smith St. was to become: Local, quaint, neighborhoody and interesting.
Aside from that, the food was good. The atmosphere was cozy in the winter, cool in the summer. I always just liked going there.
So, I am just sad it is gone, mainly because it just seems to mark the true end of an era. It’s a place where I have a lot of old fun memories of Carroll Gardens. Although, I did read a letter on their window that said they were moving, not closing and I hope that is the case as I would be sad to see it gone for good.

There was a time, not too long ago, when I would drink any and all available alcohol. No longer. Not only is getting drunk in the middle of the day not high on my list of priorities, but it has pretty much vanished altogether.*
It was at Patois this past Sunday, that I realized that I am now old. Suddenly, I found myself thinking things like:
–I can’t get drunk now; I have things to do later.
–Who cares if unlimited mimosas are included with your brunch?
–Why is Cialis so expensive?
–I should have changed my Depends before I left the house.
However, my lapsed motivation towards drinking myself silly did not detract from my brunch experience, because Patois is charming, through and through.
The brunch menu is filled with items that caught my eye, but I finally decided on the potato pancake. It was served with smoked salmon and a dollop of cream cheese on top (a very Jewish combination for a French restaurant). The flavors blended well, and the chive scrambled eggs that accompanied the dish were as good as scrambled eggs get.
My companion ordered the frittata, and was quite pleased. It came out in a skillet, and was filled with artichokes, potatoes, and various other delicious items.
We were seated next to the kitchen, which afforded us a front row seat to all the craziness going on within. In addition, when we informed our server of how tasty our food was, we heard him relay the compliment to the kitchen. It’s nice to know that such comments don’t get ignored, because everyone needs a little positive reinforcement.
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed my meal here. I plan to return to try both the duck confit hash and the French toast, which looked unlike any other French toast in my experience.
*Lies.

I’ve been to Patois numerous times, usually for birthday parties with my large and obnoxious family. Even with the shenanigans of my family, the service is always first class. The waitstaff has been consistently the same since I started going, about 4 years ago. My uncle once told our gorgeous blonde waitress that he wanted to steal the necklace she was wearing and she totally took it in stride. What a champ.
They don’t have a full bar, deal with it. The food is amazing and quite cheap. Their wine list has never failed to impress me.
In the winter, try to sit in the room with the fireplace, but not too close because it can get wicked hot. In the summer they have a cute courtyard that’s very romantic.

On a cold blustery Sunday morning. My friend and I walked down Smith street attempting to settle on a Brunch spot. Peering into the window and peeking at people’s food we decided to try out this place when the unlimited drinks for a dollar extra persuaded us this was a good choice.
I had a wonderful dish of poached eggs on top of duck confit mixed with potato hash. It came with a side of undressed greens.
I loved the quality of the dish and I loved the price. This place is a keeper.

On food alone I would say 3 stars, on everything else I would say 4 stars. I went on a Saturday night without a reservation and even though they were mainly full they found a table for me and my date. The location is beautiful and the outdoor garden is very nice. The hostess was a pleasure. The waitress took a little while at times like bringing the check and taking our order but all in all her timing and attentiveness wasn’t bad. Some may be put off by walking through the middle of the small kitchen to get to the outdoor seating but I certainly didn’t mind, in fact I’m sure this keeps the cleanliness and organization in check.
The only issue I had with the ambiance is that it took them awhile when I was there to figure out what to do with the music. There was none when I first got there, then there were a few CDs that were skipping, a couple staticy radio stations, followed by more silence. They finally found a decent jazz station that came in clear without interruptions which gave nice background music but for a while there it was getting a bit annoying.
As far as the food, some of the items are a bit stingy on the portions and are a bit expensive like the scallops (you get 3 I believe) and especially the desserts like the mousse which was barely more than a couple spoon fulls. Other menu items are a reasonable portion if you’re not starving like the hanger steak. If you want a huge portion then you can get what I got, the 14oz Rib-​eye with au poivre sauce and fries or «frites». I found the steak a bit fatty and I wasn’t too fond of the au povre sauce (mainly just peppercorns). It was cooked perfectly however and it wasn’t horrible, just not the best I’ve ever had.
Patois is a great date place with good service and a nice atmosphere and I may come back at some point for one of their tuesday/​wednesday/​thursday prix fixe meals or the pork tenderloin meal that sounded good. Overall I was impressed with the restaurant itself but not the food or the worth for the money.

Went here last night as it was participating in Brooklyn Week. Was a great meal for 23 per person.
I had the butternut squash soup, followed by the pork tenderloin and a chocolate tart. Everything was fantastic. I’ve heard their service was iffy, but did not have too much of a problem there. I wouldn’t say it was spectacular service, but I don’t really have any complaints.
As I stated already, the food was wonderful. Lots of flavor. Choices were pretty standard, as to be expected from a smaller prix fix menu.
The place itself was very nice. The fireplace was a nice little touch. It got a bit too warm towards the end of the night, but that may have been because we were a bit close to the fire. As the night wore on the place got louder, but not so bad that you had to shout to talk to whomever you were with.
Overall, I had a good time, and would definitely come back for what is supposedly a fantastic brunch.

The best brunch deal around — $ 12 for a dish AND unlimited Mimosa. Food was GREAT — including the Salad Nicoise, the Crocque Madame and the Salmon Scramble.
The space is charming and the service was pretty good. All in all a great time.

The night before my friends took me here for brunch, my buddy and I consumed mass quantities of booze. Beers at the house, wine with dinner, LITERS of beer at zum Schneider. I calculated how much it was, and I’m disgusted with myself.
Needless to say, I crawled out of bed with the final round of Street Fighter, RYU v. SAGAT going on in my gut.
My buddy’s wife, poor girl, worked all weekend. Literally back to back, no sleep shifts, and I almost completely missed seeing her, until brunch.
None of us were in very good shape.
I really thought this joint was cozy. There was a little fireplace, and a waiting area. Though there was a tremendous wait and most of the patrons just appeared to be languishing idly at the tables, in no rush to leave.
We get seated, as it so happens across from the little fire, and that was suited my mood just fine. It was cold, raining and perfectly suited for sitting next to a wood fire.
As it happens, all of our eyes catch the same item. Duck confit hash, topped with two poached eggs and hollandaise and a frisee salad.
Duck saves lives. Poached eggs are like golden tear drops of joy.

Give me a cozy fireplace, a much-​better-​than-​decent brunch (I recommend the French toast and/​or the scrambled ricotta eggs), a nice atmosphere (you can actually hear yourself think here), and a bottomless mimosa glass, and I’ll give you five stars. Hey, that’s how I roll.
«But, Krissy G., there are only four stars up there!» you’re saying…
Right.
I’m throwing one star out the window because Patois’ $ 12 prix fixe brunch is only available on Sundays, and it took about five Saturday afternoon visits for me to get it through my thick skull that Patois. Is. Only. Open. For. Brunch. On. Sunday.
Those were some disappointing trips. And, yes, I’m resentful. So there.

4.5 stars.
darnit they ran out of steak and eggs!
unlimited mimosas, coffee, tea, with sunday brunch.
nice simple french décor with a fireplace.
they call you the day of to confirm your reservation.
be nicer if the mimosas were served in champagne glasses (they can buy them at the 99cent store if price is the issue and no one will know the diff)…they’ll have a nicer presentation and will save more on champagne and OJ… after all with all those smoked salmon, their brunch is a major bargain!

S and I came here last Friday. We walked a few blocks and read at least 7 other menus in the cold before we decided to eat here. I banged my shin against a tow on the back of an SUV. Painful.
No I wasn’t drunk! It was dark!
We were escorted to the back, since that was the only table that was away from the fireplace and unoccupied. =(We quickly ordered a $ 40+ of Stone Wolf Pinot Noir. I remember giving a face. This Oregonian wine tasted different (than my standard Pinot) which freaked out our server, Amanda. We accepted it and enjoyed it though. We followed with garlic snails, organic salad, pâté, cod and steak frites. Wow, the food was tasty. We also enjoyed a dessert which I forgot the name of (see photos).
Overall, Amanda made our night. Her knowledge of the menu made us feel comfortable when asking for suggestions. I didn’t always feel the sales pitch. The wine and dessert chalk boards were very cute too.
We’re coming back for a brunch… and maybe more.
IFHTP 1

You can only have the fabulous prix fixe menu on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Travesti!!!
I’m not one to usually volunteer to eat slimy creatures like snails (or okra, for that matter), but the escargots at Patois are the best I’ve ever had in or outside of France. Order them and then sop up the garlic sauce with some delicious sourdough bread. The salmon and chicken dishes are wonderful as well, as is their house wine offerings. Nice vibe – you can come here by yourself with a good book or with a good friend/​date. The music might be a bit too loud or innocuous at times, but that’s okay – just order more snails and everything will be alright.

Feb 28, 2008 Update:
My Dear Patois,
We had SUCH a good first date. I will fondly remember that night of passion forever… and the morning? OH GOSH, waking up to you was awesome! The oral sensation just blew me away — especially your french toast… ohhhhh your french toast. But lately things have taken a turn for the worst. It seems you’ve grown complacent, my dear, and you’ve started to let yourself slip.
Your $ 20 prix fixe a few weeks ago was quite frankly disappointing: The snails just weren’t good, the hanger steak was too tough, the chicken’s sauce was watery and bland. The desserts, a slice of chocolate pie and a slice of lemon tart were unremarkable and left much to be desired (although combined they were quite good).
Then, I recommended you for Grace G’s Unilocal brunch on Feb 3^rd. I raved about your french toast to my fellow Unilocalers but when mine arrived it was seriously undercooked! Even when I sent it back you still didn’t do the job right. And my side of bacon which was supposed to be «well done — cooked until dark and crispy» instead came out floppy and pink. Arrrrg, I tried to introduce you to a whole world of Unilocalers who would have embraced you with open arms and waxed poetic about you. But you threw (undercooked) egg on my face.
And let’s not even talk about last weekend when I tried to introduce you to a very special friend of mine and you ignored us. Jealous of my girl perhaps? You sat us at the rear and didn’t even acknowledge us! You didn’t bring us menus or bread or water or anything… and unless you’re planning some grand romantic gesture, my feelings are just the teensiest bit hurt! At least you tasted good that day — your bacon was crispy, and your french toast was cooked throughout although the three (!!) blueberries on top looked so pathetic. Details matter to customers — so present yourself and please stop being so damn flakey.
Ah, but your melodic music, your fragrant fireplace, and your creepy creaking door… love has made me weak! I come crawling back time and time again despite your increasingly cruel treatment. A line MUST be drawn, so here it goes:
Patois, shape up soon or we’re through.
[Three stars, lowered from four. original review follows]
— — — — — — — — — — — — –
I took a few friends here for dinner this past friday. The food was realllllllly good. The mussels were delicious, and we sopped up every last bit of the broth with the crusty bread. The scallops with cauliflower purée dish was especially awesome. The salmon with mustard lentils and the hanger steak dishes were both very solid. The atmosphere of the place (the music especially) was great.
I liked dinner so much that I came back for brunch two days later… and brought seven friends! The negatives that julie b and others point out are all true — the mimosa’s are somewhat flat, the brunch bread and prepackaged jelly are sub-​par, and the paper napkins in the bathroom are dumb. But who cares? The dishes really are very good! My french toast was heavenly, as were most of the egg dishes my friends got. Service was a tad weak at brunch, but not enough to bother me.
I was hesitant to try this place as the reviews seemed to suggest that it’s been heading downhill, but there’s really nothing to worry about — DO give this place a try!

We took the boy to Patois for his birthday Saturday night at the suggestion of his best friend, and everyone in our party was thoroughly satisfied with our experience.
We got the mussels for an appetizer based on previous reviews, and they were superb. Highly recommended. That, and the snails were also amazing (omigod, the leftover garlic butter is PERFECT for dipping their crusty bread in – Fatkins dieters, avoid at all costs).
The crabcakes I had were awesome — crispy on the outside, tender, moist, flavorful on the inside. I ended up taking half of my meal home. I also loved the boy’s pork medallion special, and his best friend’s steak frites were lovely (although her fries were actually better, in my opinion, than the steak).
Random notes of various importance:
— the wine list is on the front and back of a blackboard. It’s comprehensive, with various wines, both white and red, from various geographies. We had two ~$ 30 whites with our meal and both were rated highly by all partakers
— our wine was served correctly! the boy ordered, and they poured a taste for him; while he was tasting, the bottle label was presented; glasses were filled around the table with the lady being served first — shock and awe!
— the service was superb: I don’t think that our water/​wine glasses ran empty (at least, while the wine bottles still contained liquid); plus, the wait staff was adorable (mmm, tall, dark, and accented)
— the back patio was perfectly comfortable on a warm summer evening, although the mosquitoes were biting; we were provided bug spray by the staff — bonus!
— the restroom is candle-​lit; think dark like what you’d expect in a sex dungeon, minus the slings and handcuffs
*The boy is still raving about the food at Patois hours later. Score.

Had brunch there today —
Pros:
–very short wait to be seated
–outside garden super cute
-$ 12 includes unlimited Mimosas, coffee or VIRGIN bloody marys
–very generous with unlimited Mimosas and they actually had champaign in them!
–food was very tasty — mustard hollandaise YUMM! BEST bacon ever! Homefries crispy on the outside tender on the inside! OMG!
–staff very nice
–food arrived quickly
Cons:
–Only one waiter for entire outside area. Had to wait a while before ordering
–poached eggs over cooked but I sent them back and they came back perfect the second time
–VIRGIN BLOODY MARY!!! (oh wait I don’t like bloody marys!)
— THEY ONLY DO BRUNCH ON SUNDAYS (and I usually do brunch on Saturday so I haven’t been able to go back despite my desire to! D’oh!)
This place is definately getting added to the rotation! I am getting hungry again just thinking about it. Definately recommend it. Just don’t too many of you go when I want to go — cause I really liked not having to wait for a table outside.

This place can be credited with being the first hip restaurant on Smith Street and torched off what has become an almost comical amount of
revolving restaurants over the past 10 years. I ate dinner here year’s ago and found it to be ok but nothing fantastic. Recently I’ve attempted it twice for brunch with wildly different results. The first time our service was on point, the included drinks were flowing, the food was great, and it was relatively cheap.
With such a pleasant experience why wouldn’t you take someone from out-​of-​town and meet up with friends in a central location?
Well, after we waited in the back for a longer time than expected we had lousy service the entire meal, zero refills on coffee let alone mimosa’s, and my friend’s order was so botched that he decided not to even order again after the 15 minutes went by between the complaint and the server coming by. Might be time for this place to either roll over and die or step it up.

Just as everyone else is saying, Patois’ Sunday brunch is lovely. I also recommend the duck confit, but beware– sometimes they go heavy on the salt!
Since others have raved about the food, I’ll put my two cents in about the ambiance (at least during brunch hours).
When you dine out on Smith Street, there are three types of folks you can expect to encounter:
1) mini-​Park Slope young tattooed mamas and pops with their loud children they never stop from crying because aren’t they adorable with their baby fauxhawk?
2) yuppies from Manhattan that read about this place on Citysearch and are alternately loudly complaining how far this is from the city or gushing about how something this homey doesn’t exist anymore in the city
3) the Carroll Gardens transplants who talk about how this place is gentrifying so quickly and isn’t it sad for the residents who live here? And my, isn’t Brooklyn just a wonderful place where you can get away from all the pressure of the city without losing any of the convenience?
Yeah, so all those people eat brunch here.
Put me in group number three.
And don’t forget to have a mimosa for me!

When Patois says «all you can drink mimosas» they mean it! Trust me, I tried. For $ 12.95 brunch is satisfying, with a great little breadbasket and attentive service. The food isn’t mindblowing, but is that really why any of us go to a $ 12 all you can drink brunch?
I’ve only been for dinner once, but that was pleasant also. The wine was overly warm and the food a little heavy, but still quite nice.

WHOAH! Did you people eat at the same place I did? Had brunch here today after hearing so many raves. Yes, it is cheap — $ 12 with unlimited coffee and mimosas. But the coffee tastes like mud! Even with extra sugar and milk, there was no masking the lousy taste. Mimosas were completely flat. Hello? They should have some bubbles from the champagne. A basket of bread was served with cheap-​ass Kraft jelly packets. My huevos rancheros were mediocre. Just OK.
After the meal I stopped in the bathroom which features ice-​cold running water and paper thin napkins that crumble apart in your hands. Nice.
One thing I will say is the service here was attentive but not overbearing. I just don’t get how a place that’s been around for 10 years (as they proudly state on the menu) doesn’t have their act together.
I have no desire to return here.