McDonald’s

Best. Food. Ever!!!
Yes. Why else would I use the superlative in a phrase no one on Unilocal has ever uttered – and with seven exclamation points too?
You must be from out of town, let me school you. See this joint is a rarity in America, a local institution not found anywhere else. It’s MCDONALD’S and it offers finely crafted culinary art this side of the Appalachians. It is the proverbial restaurant on the hill, the platonic idea of what an eatery could be – nay – should be. It will stress my poor powers to describe just how mind expanding its flavors, how pleasurable its environment, and how attentive its professional staff are; but I will attempt it, to elucidate the unelucidatable– pure heaven.
Being unique to Columbus visitors often can’t find the place so I will start there. It is across from Ohio State on High Street where during the school months it serves the studious and chase pupils, who respect the culinary institution and leave not one crumb behind. It can be found by its unique golden arch represents a M, the sound you’ll hum throughout your meal.
Outside you will be greeted by concrete seating meant to suggest the stony grandeur of Rome. The trash receptacles here are immaculately maintained, always smelling like lilacs. If in season, you will find students engrossed with their books; sterling models of purity and sobriety, these nice kids are quiet and keep to their studies. If lucky, you may be faced with high brow street art; in spray paint or chalk, the nearly spelled script is made by students or by the local chapter of the civic beautification committee – the Cryptz.
Inside is amazing. Do not look for a Maitre D, a sign that you have entered a top notched place as the sophisticated clientele here can self-​organize. Another high class trope is the lack of table service; this makes a wonderful experience going to the counter. There you will be met with a highly paid professional that executes her job with great enthusiasm. The counter opens into the kitchen, allowing a view of artesian chefs applying their trade. In mind to customer experience, the air here is filled with pleasing sounds; alarms, buzzers, and beeps musically gear your mind to the upcoming bounty.
Seating yourselves on designer furniture, you will not notice a tacky color in sight. The place is designed for you to stay. Smart thing too, because this meal is meant to savor. Of its menu the Big Mac is the première item. This gourmet dish comprises of two beef-​like patties. Thin slices pumped of water and surger, these crumbling reheated slabs have a nice, tasteless flavor. Doing away with the boring fresh grind philosophy of lesser places, MD ages their near-​beef in a freezer for a month. Three toasted bums frame this classic; the choice to make them bland is ingenious. Two pickles doused with salt increases healthiness in this already health conscious meal. Brown lettuce makes the base for the main ingredients; onion – not regular tasting fresh onions but gourmet dehydrated onions – and the cornerstone, special sauce. The– special sauce recipe, which is in no way ranch dressing mix with mayo, is a secret highly guarded by the campus sperm bank from whom it is supplied.
You will be bedazzled at the presentation. The Big Mac comes in a cardboard box. Opening it will show you the care put in to your meal: lettuce artfully tossed to stick on the side as well as the top of the sandwich, the sesame seed top smashed down spewing sauce onto the inner walls, where it sticks like glue. The sight just increases your appetite.
Of course this isn’t the only mainstay. There are fries, dumped from boxes into boiling oil and drowned in salt is a must for those with low blood pressure. Chicken Macnuggets is another world class item for you get more than one chicken; At their culinary prep institute they dump thousands of birds into one a vat, blend them up, then squirt them out in a pink goo to cut into nuggets. What a value! Parts of thousands of chicken for the price on one!
The manger will check on you as you eat; always impeccably dressed in fine fitting cloths and carrying around a fresh, sanitized rag, he’s inspirational. The custodian also does a fine job; I love how considerately he places a used mop bucket out to attract wildlife – usually houseflies – adding a view of nature as you eat.
The rest of the place is as well kept. A stairs, sometimes open, leads to a dining area away from staff’s eyes where never a lewd or uncouth thing ever happened – I should know, I went to college here – so you can eat with confidence. The restroom are never out-​of-​order, and soapy yellow water is kept below toilets for 100-​percent sanitation. Tissue paper is kept at the ready. Curiously, it must double as a supply closet, as many used spoons and soggy balloons are found here.
Too good for 5-​stars I’ll go with three. This is a must try for foodies in town and out!

I realize that running a McDonalds in a college district is demanding. Huge amounts of people walk through those doors every hour of every day that the place is open. But that being said, you need to occasionally clean the dining room. The updated décor and flat screen TVs are a nice revamp, but that does not hide the fact that the trash bins are regularly overflowing and the tables make you want to keep the tray, as it is cleaner than the other surfaces.
Please do not read this as a fatal flaw, though. This is a solid McDonalds. It is the only one I know of on earth that does NOT have a drive thru. Why? No space, and they have so much foot traffic that they don’t need one. Limited parking, too, so if that matters to you, walk.
The food here is always fresh and hot. And they have super dedicated counter and cook staff who do a great job. This place warrants 2 and a half stars, but the grunginess of the dining room knocks it to two instead of three.
Does this keep me away? No. McDonalds is still fast food, literally, and a fair price. So I’ll keep coming here for convenience, speed, and economy, but you can bet I am going to watch where I rest my elbows, so I don’t have to work with ketchup on my sleeve for the rest of the day.

The food was fine, but the tables were dirty. I don’t walk steps very well, so I didn’t try upstairs, The atmosphere is friendly.

Dude. it’s McDonalds.
Its fne

Okay service but needs some work with the food. I go there quite a bit and they always get my order wrong. EVERY TIME. It’s annoying and a waste of time. I’ll go to the one on weber road and get what I want every time I order there. I get that they’ll replace my order but it’s the fact that I’m wasting more time getting it replaced. Sometime I have to drive back to have it replaced

They refused my order or McRib because they don’t serve pork after 12am. It’s 11:50 when I ordered. Terrible service. Waited in line forever too.

I go to McDonald’s for a quick and consistent experience each time. I don’t get that from this location. I think it’s a franchise (although that shouldn’t matter). In a short-​sighted attempt to sell more soft drinks they refuse to give water glasses for free (regardless of how much money you spend on your meal). Further, the customer service is usually pretty bad and the front counter is pretty chaotic with staff barking out order numbers.
I usually avoid this location if I can.

It’s your average McDonald’s – an American icon, for better or worse. Gotta love the $ 0.79 soft serve cone. This location, as well as the one at University City, is open for twenty-​four hours. I notice that some older, presumably non-​university-​affiliated locals almost tend to live here, so be nice to them – or better yet, try to avoid them, particularly in the late hours (during which I recommend you venture elsewhere for your meal or snack anyway).

I know It’s just a McDonalds, but some are better than other. This one is definitely not one of the nicer ones.