Mike’s Grill

Damn. What a dive. Wild Irish Rose. Black Label. A run down looking patio. You folks have to check this out for yourself. Despite the area, parking has never been an issue, thankfully. Maybe Im going in at the right times.
The penny countertop is great.

For all the reasons mentioned by other people, this place is great. However, it is not as great as it used to be. I say this because I often want to go here, drive by slowly, and see that it is packed. What the heck is that about? People aren’t supposed to want to come here.
I can’t tell you some of the things that make Mike’s great, because they warrant police attention. Just go there.
They have 1 dollar to go beers (or they did a few years ago, might be 1.25 now).

My absolute favorite spot in the Short North! One of the only true dive bars left in the area, and it has been there since the beginning. You will run into a lot of interesting characters here, which is part of the fun. The bartenders are all awesome — especially Mike who will forever be my favorite bartender in Columbus. Cheapest beer in town, largest backyard/​patio. Great Jukebox. GET YOU SOME.
p. s. There is not an actual grill, but the microwave makes great popcorn ;)

The doucheschnozzle nazis at Unilocal HQ removed my two year old Mike’s Grill updated review because it «falls outside [their] content guidelines.» What that means is it was vulgar. It was vulgar in the sense that it was the most accurate Mike’s review on Unilocal.So here is a disgustingly censored version since there is no such thing as freedom of speech on Unilocal.Censored content is indicated by brackets.
PLEASE NOTE: This review is no[w safe] for the easily offended.
I hate review updates, but I feel compelled to make one. I took a few Unilocal friends here on Thursday night after bumping into them at Surly Girl. They were looking for somewhere different than their normal Short North hangouts and I said I had just the place.
The reason I feel compelled to update is it was the most perfect first Mike’s Grill experience. They got a taste of everything I always mention to people about what makes Mike’s great.
This place is chock full of Billies. On one hand, we’ve got an overweight, 52 year old lady with [large old lady breasts] playing country music on the jukebox, dancing around telling us how she’s «Columbus’ Oldest Living Stripper» (is anyone actually interested in Columbus’ Oldest Deceased Stripper, such that this quantifier was necessary?). Then we got the bums coming up trying to scam my pals into buying them drinks. Next, there’s the old fart with the long, white beard with his [motherfluffin] OXYGEN TANK sitting on the bar next to his drink.
One of my three companions tries to order some microbrew. The bartender laughs and says «Duuuude, you’re at [freaking] Mike’s. I got Bud, Bud Light, and Michelob. I keep a few Hieneys for folks now and again, but if you want some rich fancy [stuff], you’re gonna need to head on down the street.»
Old Man Oxygen says «hey, you oughta try one of what I’m having.»
Us: «What, pray tell, is it you’re drinking?»
OMO: «Gin, tomato juice, and beer.»
Us: «What’s that called?»
OMO: «Oh, I don’t know, I made it up.»
Us: «That means you get to name it!!! When did you make it up?»
OMO: «Two days ago.»
Laughs all around.
OMO: «I never really thought about what to call it. It’s kinda like a Bloody Mary. I guess it’s called a Bloody [feminine product].»
Luuuuuuuuuuuulz.
Old Man Oxygen then proceeds to tell us about getting his red wings, and how, back in the day, he was known for his cunnilingus skills. He tells us «back then you couldn’t get a woman to [perform fellatio on you], but they sure liked to [have fellatio performed on them].» This leads into a conversation about how he taught his girls «from a very young age about sex and how not to get pregnant.» He says «I told’em, ‘there are alternatives to getting pregnant, things such as oral and [sex in an uncomfortable place].’»
I’m telling you, you can’t make this [stuff] up. I’m not even sure this sort of language is allowed on Unilocal,but those are direct quotes, friends. Mike’s is hands down the last bastion of the old Short North. There are some things you just can’t gentrify. Amen.

I love this place! We happened upon it during a gallery hop a few years ago. No food (though they did have a delicious apple pie drink the last time I was in there). No credit cards. No draft beer. It was perfect for hanging out and people watching. The jukebox, full of 80’s country hits, reminds me of the family drives of my youth (but in a good, nostalgic, no carsickness sort of way). If you’re looking for unpretentious fun in the Short North, this is your place!

I love the Short North, I really do; one fear I have though is that it may become too gentrified. Mike’s Grill not only alleviates that fear, but opposites it, as in.“holly crap, I hope the Short North don’t become too red neckish”. (I am making up new words and using words differently… sue me ;-)) «
It is not that I don’t like a good greasy dive, or rednecks, I do, but Mike’s seem too go beyond dive to whatever it is called that exists between ‘dive bar’ and a ‘gathering of bums drinking bathtub wine in the alley.‘
Now the pictures posted here and other reviews paint a bit of a different picture than what I experienced so I may have come at the wrong time, but my low rating is based on:
One, they don’t take credit cards? Holy 1986 Batman!
Two, my experience: I went in to watch the Ohio State game, I was by myself and was thinking I could cheer on the Buckeyes with some old timers and other rowdy bar flowers decided on this place because it looked like it would be a good little joint from outside. I took a seat at the bar. What I found was an old, mean barmaid, who seemed high on meth, arguing with a patron, equally high on something, about a bill, or a drink, or who-​knows-​what drug out drama ongoing. Several others sitting behind me egged them on. They also tried getting a rise out of me, making comments of the camera I had tagged along. These guys were old, 50−60ish; the strung out types you see at dives on Cleveland Avenue, not usually in the S-​North. They gave me a strange feel. Kind of reminded me of a scene from Oliver Stone’s Biopic, «The Doors» where Val Kilmer playing Jim Morrison pisses on the floor. The clientele, the bartender, and the smell of urine really made me think of that. It was all a bit much to handle in while watching the game: so I left after one drink.
I may revisit this if I venture in again: may had been a bad night.

A small town feel in the middle of the trendy Short North. Great for a casual hang out.

Huh, I swear I had already reviewed Mike’s. Well no matter, I’ll just add to all the others. Now *this* is a dive bar. Cash only, delicious cheap macrobrews, and, how could my friend and I not partake: a bottle of room temperature Wild Irish Rose. The bartenders are fun and the bar itself is covered in pennies. It’s a shame more locals don’t appreciate Mike’s enough to find it Unilocal-​worthy. Up here in Mpls this would be huge in Northeast and would compliment the other dives nicely. For Columbusites this is a true dive bar experience that you can have right in the Short North without leaving your comfort zone by having to venture out to a neighborhood that looks more like the run-​down neighborhood the Short North used to be. If you’ve always passed by this place without stopping in you have never experienced the Short North. Period.

Completely casual — but, during the recent heatwave, — deliciously air conditioned.
Ladies room has always been clean when I’ve been there.
Cash only, very nice bar tenders, old school beer labels.
Mike is a nice guy!
We enjoyed a Sunday afternoon watching two episodes of Fast and Loud. This was a no-​pressure kind of lazy day and absolutely perfect!
ALL walks of life come in and out — a true watering hole.

The only real reason to stop at Mike’s for a drink or two is the people watching. Mike’s is nestled next to Bollinger Tower in the Short North on High St. Bollinger Tower is Section 8 housing so you get TONS of interesting characters. The patrons are generally fascinating and can sometimes talk your ear off. Mike’s also has 1 dollar jello shots. If you are in the mood for something «different» while in the SN give Mike’s a shot. Oh yeah, it’s cash only too…

An exceptional shithole in the middle of the city. It actually kind of reminds me of a bar in the middle of nowhere– those ones with the brown panel walls and the David Allan Coe on the jukebox, except the parking is terrible. The beer is cheap, the bathroom is surprisingly clean (before 11ish), the clientele is varied and entertaining, the bartender doesn’t take any crap, and no one cares who you are, what you do or how much money you make– as long as you bring cash, because this place doesn’t take credit cards.

There’s something to be said for a dive bar that survives in the Short North. And this dive bar (no food although its name indicates it has some) can be summed up in the resonating words of the bartender on my first recent visit:
«Yea, we get all kinds of people in here. Sometimes nice girls like you; and then a lot of times I’m in here at 6am serving forties to prostitutes.»
Wood paneling. Cash only. Ripped vinyl chairs. Jukebox. Coffee maker. Awesome.

I like to visit Mike’s No-​Name once in a while. Pretty cheap bottled and canned beer and drink prices with a hilarious variety (40s of malt liquor, Wild Irish Rose, Black Label) of options.
Service is ok — when it’s not crowded. When it’s crowded, expect an abnormal wait.
Their jukebox has a mix of country, classic rock, and Top 40 hits.
Overall, Mike’s is good for a nite cap or if you’re looking for a cheap beginning to your night.

If you are looking for an authentic dive bar, this is it. Hands down the best place to be during the suburban onslaught known as «gallery hop». This place (and its patrons) have been here long before the Short North became trendy.
Suggested drink: «Black-​tie Affair» = 1 can of Black Label + 1 shot Jaeger.

I remember going here in the middle of a day off and giving an extra pair of sunglasses i had to a guy in the throes of despair at having just lost his job. He gave me a pack of rolling tobacco in return. As others have noted, Mike’s seems out of place in the middle of the short north, but its unabashed selfness is maybe part of the reason it persists. The drinks are cheap and strong, and the clientele varies somewhat depending on when you go there. I’ve walked into clutches of hipsters there and the more expected middle aged folks. And, as others have noted, it is the first– call place for crack of dawn beer.

I don’t know. It’s the divenest bar this side of Short North for sure. So in that context– 5 stars.
It’s the scuzzy straight brother of Blazer’s, the gay bar up on 5^th and High. As a dive bar, it makes every other bar on Short North look that much more sophisticated. If I were in the mood to hang out with a drunken pirate, a 70 year old retired factory worker, and some random smiley guy with nothing better to do at 3 pm on a Tuesday, I’d check Mikes’ first.
Cheapest to-​go beer award? Mike’s. Most absurdly out of place bar award? Mike’s. Best place to get a bottle of Wild Irish Rose with 40 oz King Cobra chaser? Yep.
It’s a novelty

I still cannot believe my eyes every time I walk by this place. How has this place not been run out of town yet? They don’t accept credit cards, there’s Nascar crap all over the walls, and it’s not rare to see malt liquor selections looming in the cooler behind the bar. And thank god for that. Just when I was fed up with every last bar in this über-​trendy, brutally self-​aware section of town, I stumble upon the dive to end all dives that is Mike’s Grill. There’s not a single doubt in my mind that this dump has been around long before the «colorful» crowd that now calls Short North home moved in, and I’m even more sure of the fact that it has not changed once since then. The walls are covered in faded beer paraphernalia that’s left over from the 70’s, and I’m pretty sure there may be a beer or two in the aforementioned cooler that’s just as old. The crowd here ranges from roughnecks that live in the yet-​to-​be-​gentrified parts of the area closer to 4^th street and beyond, to people just like myself that need a proper escape from the martini and Stella-​sipping masses that annoy the ever-​living crap out of me on a nightly basis. If you’re not wearing jeans and a t-​shirt on the way in here, expect to wait an extra 5 – 10 minutes for your drink. Well, maybe not, but for some reason I’d like to think that. Needless to say, Gucci and purse-​bound dogs are not the least bit welcome here. And thank god for that.

Mike’s «No Name» Bar. Technically, Mike’s does have a name now that it says Mike’s on the window but for years the only way I could describe this place to anyone not in the know was to call it «that wood — front bar on High St. near Buttles with no name on it where all the day-​drinkers hang out.»
Mike’s is as no frills as it gets. Wood paneling everywhere and things like hoods off of NASCAR cars complete the décor and specialties like Black Label beer and Miller High Life are always on sale.
There are two things that set Mike’s apart from other bars that you probably don’t know.
1. World’s Cheapest To-​Go Beer. And they seem to be willing to sell it LATE. I’ve left other bars at 2:30 and gone to Mike’s when other places try to charge too much for to-go’s. 12 pack of HighLife for almost the same price as the corner store, (seriously, I think like $ 9).
2. They re-​open REALLY early. I’m not sure how early but it is ungodly. I think it’s like 6am, give or take and hour or two. I’m not sure who exactly goes to the bar at 6am for any reason other than kegs and eggs on before a noon Buckeye game (and even then you are not coming here), but if you are ever wondering where to go for some black label beer before the sun rises… it’s Mike’s.

At Mike’s they don’t «do» draft beer, or credit cards either. However, you can pay in dimes for a duffel bag of King Cobra 40s. I have witnessed this transaction.
Appetizers? Act II popcorn.
Décor? Spuds Mackenzie, meet Nascar.
For a square deal on square beer in the Short North, it’s Mike’s.