Shanghai River Restaurant

Ultra Americanized dishes (think Mexican-​style flour tortillas served with moo-​shu pork) that are overly salty while still lacking any other flavor. The big space is nice with round tables and lazy Susans.

My favorite Chinese restaurant in Houston. Friendly staff, relaxing ambience, delicious food. I’ve never tried anything at this place that wasn’t amazing! It’s worth the drive from the suburbs if you aren’t inside the loop already. The restaurant has a cool history, and if you’re a Marvin Zindler fan — you’ll find this place even more interesting!

I love this place for a thousand different reasons but primarily because they’re pretty wonderful.
The food is largely Americanized Chinese but well done. It’s a great place to go at off-​peak times to sit and talk to your companion l, and you can in the comfortable chairs. You’d be comfortable dressed up for date night or after running errands all day.
We’ve never had a problem with the service, the food or the prices. Try the spicy dumplings, those are delicious.

Awful. I don’t know how they can serve worse than Panda Express quality food at twice the price.
This place is pretty much slightly gussied-​up fake Chinese food for white people. Alarm Bell #1 was that this «Shanghai River Restaurant» has a menu consisting mostly of Hunan inspired dishes. I say «inspired» because the food definitely wasn’t actually Hunan food, but it was at least closer to Hunan cuisine than it was to Shanghai cuisine.
Alarm Bell #2 was that chopsticks weren’t provided and that we had to ask for them. The restaurant is run by Chinese people but they seemed surprised when our group of Chinese people sat down in their restaurant.
The portions were tiny as well, I particularly remember a $ 15 stir-​fried shrimp dish that had exactly nine little shrimp on the plate. Alarm Bell #3 was that every dish had a crapload of inedible vegetable garnish on the edge of the plates. When I get Chinese food I want a hearty and tasty meal, not a few pieces of food with two «artfully» arranged pieces of carved turnip.

Best Restaurant around. Been going there for 20 years. EVERYTHING is good and not your normal menu. Everything is fresh, the service is suburb. Take my word for it check it out!

Probably should give 5 stars but will go with 4 for now. Delicious, nice atmosphere and superb service. A Houston must go to dine. PuPuu tray was excellent. Sugared walnut chicken was a surprised bonus taste. Looking forward to many more dinners there. If only I lived 30 miles closer.

We’ve been patrons of this restaurant for 40 years, even before it moved to its present location in River Oaks. We enjoy the food and the service. The prices are reasonable. We celebrate most of our special family occasions at Shanghai River. We live in Galveston County and drive about 30 miles to this restaurant to dine 4 – 5 times a month. We have eaten at a number of other Chinese restaurants in Houston, but we prefer dining at Shanghai River.

Best Chinese delivery /​takeout I have had in Houston. Definitely above average and now that I don’t live in the neighborhood any longer I will have to go out of my way to get Chicken Lo Mein Cantonese style — so good!

Service was worst we have ever had at restaurant. Sister and her family live here in Houston and many times we have eaten here. Food was wonderful but the service was extremely slow. Took over 10 minutes to get menus. Once menus came, it took another 10 minutes before they took our order. We started with one server and then another took over. She could not understand us. We had to get up twice to get refill on tea and then to get our check presented. My sister has 2 small kids inder age of 5 and the restaurant only had 3 tables to service, and one came in after we did and finished thier meal prior to us. It was unacceptable service. Questions me wanting to come back.
Also, it seems none of the mgmt or owners were onsite. Lousy service.

Was really looking forward to a new Christmas tradition — lunch at Shanghai River. Planned it for over a week and got there today at 12pm. The place was steady, but not slammed. We waited about 30 seconds for a table. Got to the table and immediately we both wanted lettuce wraps. We put our order in with the waiter and waited… and waited… and waited. The waiter or the food never came back — after 35 minutes we got up and left — starving and disappointed.

We have eaten here for the last 10 years. The food and service has always been excellent. My favorites are the General Tsao’s Chicken and the Marvin Zindler Platter. The Shrimp Toast appetizer is also delicious. The ambience is conducive to eating and talking over great food – a very classy restaurant at modest prices. The music is wonderful, beautifully orchestrated 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and more recent «oldies» that classify as Easy Listening, but not Musak. All in all, I LOVE it. It’s a great place to eat.

Terrible food. Couldn’t even eat it. Food delivered in 5 min and couldn’t swallow the spring rolls and the general tsao’s chicken was all fatty!!!

Lisa: [talking to townsman] Famous for your mud? How’s your Chinese food?
Vinny Gambini: You just keep asking about Chinese food. You gotta let everybody know you’re a tourist?
This was Marvin Zindler’s favorite restaurant back in the day. That lends it some amount of classy prestige. If nothing else, a helpful assurance that there was no slime in the ice machine, at least back in 1991. However I still played it safe by avoiding the ice machine altogether and just ordered up some bottled Tsingtao. The alcohol will kill all that could possibly ail you. Beer: the solution to (and cause of) all of life’s problems.
Tsingtao is Chinese. Shanghai is a city in China. I know this because of geogramuphy. Therefore Tsingtao, a Chinese beer, belongs here. Sapporo, Asahi, and Kirin are also on the menu. Sapporo, Asahi, and Kirin are all Japanese. That is almost a severe faux pas in the Eastern world, no? Things got pretty heated between the Chinese and the Japanese in World War II. That would be like me driving a BMW today, or giving a playful nickname like «The Kaiser» to a hooker at the Ramada Inn by the airport. It’s still too soon. So you could tell (besides this being in River Oaks) how much it is catering to rich white folk largely ignorant of world history. Most of them probably could not tell you the substantive differences between China and Japan — it’s not even the actual malice of the Tea Party’s ridiculous xenophobia. More of the ilk on display in the television program King of the Hill where the boys tried to determine the particulars of Kahn Souphanousinphone’s native Laos, whether the family was ultimately Chinese or Japanese. Other reviewers have additionally expounded on how this is not an «authentic» Chinese place but for the beer drinkers who explore the world through a pint, you need look no further than the bar to know that this is not authentic. That is okay by me, greasy Americanized-​Chinese food is a way of life. Pei Wei, PF Chang’s, and even Panda Express all serve their purpose as delicious hangover olde timey elixir remedies to soothe you as you listen to Phish and find your center. If Dr Oz will will hawk any «miracle» he can, he should really get in on the action of letting Americans know how great Chinese food is as a «miracle» for anything and everything. Might as well get in on a little more side action where you can on your next episode of «Check this shit out with some guy named Mehmet»
I was here for dinner. Your mileage may vary for lunch and fourthmeal. Dinner at least: the atmosphere has a tinge of romantic night out. The solid wood furniture, the dim lighting, the white tablecloth, the napkin folded decoratively, the dark color scheme on the walls besides the one glamour shot of Marvin, and the light piano music on in the background. It all seems like a set up for a nice and pleasant dinner. This is a place you put pants AND a shirt on to come here because you want to — not because the ball and chain made you.
I was searching reviews earlier trying to find what I wanted, shrimp is always good. But eggplant is always wonderful. Sadly no reviews had touched the eggplant yet. So it was my Unilocal duty to stick a fork in it.
The eggplant Szechuan style is sadly, not hot. That chili pepper on the menu is a filthy liar. This is not hot at all. Even if they do prepare it on the white person heat factor scale, this was about a zero point zero. Even the old white lady that complained about the water being too spicy, well she would find this was perf. Notwithstanding the total lack of heat, the eggplant was served up like a boss. Delicious, not overcooked, not too drippy, not drowning in cheap spice ingredients to mask eggplant that is just a bit older than it needed to be. This dish is just as perfect as eggplant can ever be. Prepared with same solemnity that their brother from another mother prepared in the eggplant parmesan at Josephine’s when that glorious beast was still in existence down. This eggplant was not too greasy, it was just right. So not-​greasy even that it did not soak through a shallow bed of white rice. At Mo Mong that eggplant used to soak straight through like it was on the drippy highway 2 hell. Not Shanghai River. My dining companion ordered something else, decidedly less eggplanty in nature, and seemed to enjoy it just as much.
Service was attentive and prompt. A nice waiter. The place was clean. The environment while a bit romantical-​like, was still a warm and welcoming one to eat a nice dinner with a friend.
It’s a cut above the local Pei Wei, because it is not Pei Wei. You don’t order at a counter. And they have plenty of alcohols — however their Green Tea Soda cocktail is not really on the menu, their menu is a filthy liar and needs to be updated, because I really wanted to drink that. Instead I had a brief unsatisfying cry and settled on another Tsingtao. For an Americanized-​Chinese place in River Oaks this is pretty great for the zip code.

Iv been coming here for a couple of years now and the food had been consistently good. I usually order the shredded spicy beef. The lunch prices are good and so is the quality of meat.

I’ve read the reviews from the other Asians. They seem harsh but I have to agree with them. This restaurant caters to non-​Asians and you can’t expect anything otherwise from a place in the River Oaks area that’s not exactly teaming with rich Asians. Nice décor although the service is traditionally curt. I’ve read many times that this was Marvin Zindler’s favourite Chinese restaurant. If he’s into fake tans and fake hair, it’s no surprise he’s into fake Chinese food. At least we know it’s a clean kitchen.
Their lunch specials are more expensive than better tasting alternatives since you are paying for the rent. Only one vegetarian option with respect to the lunch specials so you have to order from the full menu. That option, the stir-​fry vegetables, is tasteless and of course is the reason you should order from the full menu.

I eat here once in a while and have had nothing but great experiences. I think this food is way beyond all of the over sauced mushy vegetable Chinese food you can get around town. Everything has been fresh and the choices are much more extensive. I am not a Chinese food expert but it is pretty obvious looking at the dishes that more time has been spent preparing them. Just my opinion.

New Yorkers are proud of a lot of things. And a lot of those things I totally get: Pizza, bagels, old timey photos of construction workers eating lunch on beams of skyscrapers with no harness or anything (I totally can’t take credit for that one. Read the hilarious book «I Have Relatively Neutral Feelings About New York,» and it’ll be the best decision you ever made)…
So yeah. I get it. New Yorkers are frackin’ proud, and they darn well should be. OW-​HEVER, there is one thing that I never understood their pride in: Chinese food.
I blame Sex and the City and any other TV show/​movie that over-​idealizes New York and involves trendy female New Yorkers, crying over dirtbag boyfriends in their super posh (but TOTALLY affordable and completely realistic!) apartments with their best gal pals, a bottle of vodka, and of course Chinese takeout, eaten straight from the box.
*sigh* What a romantic image.
And I’m absolutely NOT saying New York City Chinese food isn’t good. On the contrary, it is EXCELLENT. But guess what? Unlike the ever allusive pizza slice, bagel, and old timey photos of construction workers eating lunch on beams of skyscrapers with no harness or anything, I’m going to go out on a limb and say most other cities are fully capable of doing Chinese food well. And H-​Tizzy is no exception.
Can I say H-​Tizzy? No?
I however had not had any Chinese food since I’d been back, which means I’ve not had any Chinese food in FIVE MONTHS. I’m sorry, what? No that cannot be correct, let me re-​do the math. April to May, May to June, June to July, July to August, August to…
Nope. FIVE MONTHS.
Needless to say, my unintended abstinence from Chinese food was long overdue. Determined to feed the flame (I actually don’t think that phrase is applicable here), I ordered takeout from Shanghai River Restaurant in Upper Kirby the other night. And once again, all was right with the world.
First of all, the place is seriously cool inside, which is unassuming since (true to H-​Tizzy form) it is located in a little strip center. You enter through a giant monstrosity of a red door, go through a closed off entryway with a large statue/​fountain, and then step into the main, darkly lit, nicely decorated restaurant.
Phenomenal.
So I started with egg drop soup, which is actually an unusual move for me (I usually stick with the wonton variety). It was nice and tasty, but it was a little too thick for me. The thickness did not deter me, because the flavor was excellent, but I didn’t eat too much of it, out of fear of it being too filling (Chinese food? Filling? I must be losing my mind).
Then it was a free-​for-​all of beef with broccoli, brown rice, and chicken lo mein dumped into my mouth.
I have to admit I inhaled the first round too quickly to even think, realized I had to make some form of sound judgment on the food, and thus helped myself to a second plate.
It was all delicious. The beef with broccoli, in my opinion, needed some more sauce, but it was pretty standard and did not disappoint.
The chicken lo mein was excellent. It had whole small mushrooms in it that really shone nicely through the dish, as well as long cuts of green onions. Superb. So superb that two hours later I helped myself to some more of it.
So that’s three dinners for anyone who’s counting. I had three dinners that night.
Perhaps the occasional abstinence from Chinese food is not such a bad thing after all…
No it is a bad thing. I should eat Chinese food always, and I’d be absolutely fine if it was from Shanghai River Restaurant in Good Old H-​Tizzy. Was it the best Chinese I’ve ever had? No, but it was darn good and definitely hit the [Chinese takeout] spot.
Even Carrie and Miranda would be impressed.

I know it’s not Bellaire, but I was pretty satisfied with my takeout from Shanghai. I got a healthy version of chicken and veggies, including their lower calorie sauce. It was really hot out, so I waited in the bar area for my food, and the very-​nice hostess brought me a glass of water. My food was ready really fast, and there was a lot of chicken and veggies — no filler here. I wish I had more sauce, but i’ll just ask for it next time. I’m definitely willing to give this place a second run.

The one and two star ratings are warranted.
Order take away:
Combination Fried Rice: The rice was white, not stir fried. It’s as if they just mixed in meat and veggies with white rice and didn’t even bother to fry it in the wok.
Mongolian Beef: Very small portion and was overloaded with green onion stalks. Not much beef and very little flavor
Hot and Sour Soup: It was ok. Not great but not awful.
Thankfully I checked the bag before getting to far away and noticed they did not provide chopsticks or plastic ware nor did they provide the obligatory soy, duck, hot mustard sauces.
There are way better Chinese options in the area. We won’t be ordering from them again.

As someone who’s Chinese, I honestly feel you’d probably get better Chinese food at Panda Express. Its problem is not that it doesn’t serve authentic Chinese food — it’s just bad food, period.
We ordered a hot and sour soup which was neither hot nor sour. It was probably the most tasteless and bland hot and sour soup I’ve had in my life — they should just call it plain olé soup so as not to mislead diners. We took one sip and sent it back, asking the waitress if they could remove it from the bill. But they didn’t.
For our entrees, we ordered the Fish in Black Pepper Sauce. What we got was a plate of deep fried fillets of fish that came with absolutely no sauce — when asked about this discrepancy, the waitress just said that the menu description was inaccurate. Even worse, there was actually more batter than fish in there. We also had the Shrimp in Hot Garlic Sauce which, once again, was neither hot nor garlicky.
Conclusion is: don’t trust anything on the menu.
At the end of our meal, we were served fortune cookies. That had no fortune. That isn’t really the restaurant’s fault since they probably ordered them from a vendor but it just goes to show that Murphy’s Law is in effect in this place. Everything that can go wrong WILL go wrong when you eat here. Avoid at all costs and just make the drive to Bellaire for some decent Chinese.