Bill’s Cafe

Great burgers, good price and has a rustic charm that works for it. The down side is the quaint nature of this establishment also works against it. It’s great when the weather is good and they have evaporative cooler ready to make hot Texas days bearable but it just shows how much Bill’s café is vulnerable to the weather.

Great burger and fries. My daughter loves the Mac and cheese bites. The steak is also really good be prepared to share its huge.

After having this burger spot on my radar for nearly 10 years now, I finally made it during a departmental lunch meeting. I just had no idea it was more of an ice house style burger spot. We decided to sit out on one of the palapas since it was such a nice day, only bad part was the wind which blows any light objects away.
There were not many people on a Tuesday for lunch and our order (6 of us) didn’t take very long at all. Service was attentive; although it’s a little strange here that you can get your drinks self-​serve as you walk up to the restaurant, whether it be water, tea, sodas or even beer.
I highly recommend the bacon cheeseburger and chili cheese fries, if you can eat it all. The burger patties are about ½-​lb and they use fresh, hand-​formed beef. They aren’t seasoned all that much so you are able to really taste the beef. They will cook your burger to order too. The fries are hand-​cut and for the chili cheese fries, they add shredded cheddar and a homemade chili to it. This is definitely not canned chili.
Most of my colleagues ordered burgers. One person ordered a grilled chicken sandwich which looked pretty good, but the thick onion rings didn’t appear to be hand-​battered.
I’ll definitely put this into my rotation if I’m craving a burger for lunch. No doubt this is one of the best homemade burgers in the Kingwood/​Porter/​Humble area. In business since 1945, they must be doing something right.
Note: They also are known for their large steaks, so that is always an option.

Skip the rest. Bill’s Café is the place to go!
After a rather disappointing culinary week in Kingwood, I was pointed to Bill’s…and for that I say thank you. The pictures posted by others say it all. Big, juicy burgers, steaks the size of a plate (if you are so inclined), all served up by friendly staff in a casual and comfortable atmosphere and at reasonable prices.
According to their website, Bill’s has been in Kingwood since 1945, which definitely pre-​dates all the strip malls and chain food that have grown up around it since.
My only wish is that I’d found it earlier in my trip… because I’d have gone back for more.

I’m only giving this place three stars for the food and somewhat the atmosphere. This was my second time here, and while the food is quality, the service is too slow and there are a TON of screaming kids running around. Good thing the beer is self-​serve or you might dehydrate. The outside tables have extremely uncomfortable benches that tilt forward so you’re constantly scooting back trying to stay in the seat. The food is pretty decent, typical hamburger and fries, grilled chicken sandwich is tasty, we sampled the fried pickles, broccoli cheese bites, stuffed jalapenos, sweet potato fries and onion rings. The time it took to get our check or have someone even come take our order was ridiculous. If you have kids it’s great because they can run around and do their own thing, leaving the adults to a potentially nicer time but the flip side is that you literally have 10 – 12 kids running around, throwing sand, getting in mud. You decide.

The atmosphere and customer service make this place. Whenever I’m in north Houston, I come to Bill’s for a burger and a beer. The burgers hit that burger sweet spot; you’re craving grilled beef in between bread but only the right one will do. Chains won’t do. I tear into and I’m never unsatisfied. Service is always with a smile and the women are pretty. Inside it’s usually quiet, very quaint, and a little odd. The décor smells like wood and hundreds of hats decorate all four walls of the bar. I love the warmth and openness of the place. Bill’s affords you that small town feel that so many other places do not have and can not replicate.

First time here and have live in the area for 20 + yrs. Great find. Great burger and chili cheese fries. Service staff was awesome. Will return.

Love bills café! This is one of the best burgers in the area! Love the simple atmosphere too! Service was great and the staff are extremely nice! Highly recommend if you’re looking for a good burger and laid back lunch/​dinner!

Of the three main burger places in Humble/​Kingwood/​Porter, this one is my favorite by far. Seat yourself and grab a burger off the small-​ish menu. I like that the appetizers are priced per piece so you can easily share or have each person in your group just order what they like. The toppings are generous, as are the orders of fries. The burgers are a good size — plenty filling but not a monster that’s difficult to eat. The staff is friendly and the hats on the wall and lowkey vibe make this a great place to grab a relaxed dinner any night of the week.

I had a great experience at Bill’s Café this weekend. I came with a large group for a late lunch after a long workout that morning. I was staaaaarvvvvvvvinggggg and I’m glad we were recommended to head here.
This place seems to be a little hole in the wall place with a great feeling to it. There is a nice sized parking lot out front, and seat yourself inside at a table or at the bar, or outside at one of the covered picnic tables or at one of the beach-​like huts. If you sit outside, the drinks are a serve yourself kind of situation. There are some coolers full of beer, hard lemonade, and smirnoff ices that you can just grab, along with a soda fountain and pitchers of iced tea. The menus are at the table in the condiment holders, and are just small beat up pieces of paper.
The food choices are very self-​explanatory. Everyone I went with ordered a burger or a grilled chicken sandwich. I had a burger, and it was great! It wasn’t anything fancy or crazy — it tasted like something you would just grill up for yourself. Classic. The fries were extremely impressive. The seasoning on them was GREAT. YUMMMMM. My friends had the sweet potato fries, too, but I don’t think they were as good. Bill’s Café gives you huge portions for a great price! I was dying of hunger and couldn’t finish everything! If you’re not a huge eater, maybe split the fries with a friend and you’ll be just fine.
Service was pretty slow. There might have been 1 waitress serving the whole place when I went, but the whole vibe of the place was «chill out, dude» so it didn’t really bother anyone too much.
It seemed like a very family friendly place. There were a ton of kids playing around outside. If I’m ever back in the area, I’d for sure stop in for another relaxing afternoon here.

Best burgers in Kingwood. Filling, all the veggies, medium to medium well, not too greasy… That said, don’t order a side salad. It’s not a salad place. Just get the burger and sweet potato fries or fried jalapeños!

This country boy was very happy to find this grain bin dive so close to Houston, starving n my way out of town. I would out this burger up against the best chain burger you could find. Small business service, large business quality with local dive status. PERFECT. Beer, burgers or a Sirloin for two. You gotta go once.

A total hole in the wall if there was one.
Casual and filling.
All outdoor seating and a little self service.
Orders take a bit of time to arrive but the simple menu is burgers and beer all the way.
If you’re about that country burger thing then give it a try. This place has been here forever and isn’t going any time soon.

Completely overrated!
Burger wasn’t anything to brag about at all. Burnt overdone. Bacon was way overcooked and almost inedible. Grilled mushrooms where cold and mush.
Service was also bad as only one girl was working inside and we where passed by multiple times without being glanced at. Had to get up and go to the bar to get stuff we asked for earlier.
I give it two stars only because my brother enjoyed his steak.

I’ve been here several times and am just now getting around to posting a review.
The burgers are fantastic!
I used to live near Seabrook and frequented Tookie’s pretty often. Tookie’s will always have my heart but Bill’s Café is a good substitute. I usually get the burger and chili cheese fries so I can’t vouch for anything else. The burger alone is worth a visit though!

Great, great, great burgers!!! Very quirky place. Here’s something to note though, and this is why I didn’t rate Bill’s 5 stars: their menu. Ok, I get it. If it’s not on the menu, they don’t have it. So I ordered a double cheese burger (not on the menu). When I got the Bill (pun intended) they charged me for TWO cheeseburgers!!! Kinda funny, but kind of expensive. Woulda been nice had the waitress told me, «we’re gonna charge you for two burgers.» I would have just got the single. My advice: just stick to the menu. Bill’s ain’t fancy, but it’s good. I’ll be back.

Not the biggest fan of this place not a lot of variety! It feels like your going over to your uncle Bill’s picnic if you had an uncle Bill! Pros: Huge steak great prices
Cons: worst salad I’ve ever had anywhere!

Pretty good. We have lived in Kingwood for some time and never stopped in but recently heard rave reviews about the burgers. So we went for lunch this week and first impressions… well, i am not uppity at all and love a good hole in the wall but not a grimey dusty one when i am eating. I get the whole trucker hat thing but yuck. They are covered in grease and dust.
We sat at the bar and waited for a while for the server to come out but she was really friendly. Ordered our food and it came out fairly quickly. Someone had mentioned before that there sides werent frozen but they are. I saw the guy pull them the freezer but thats ok. The burger meat did seem fresh and hand made into a patty. Really good flavor and the bacon was well cooked and crispy. The meal was good to satisfy my burger craving but i dont think it’ll become a regular stop for us.

Bill’s Café is an anomaly.
It’s this little poorly decorated hole in the wall burger joint by Kingwood. The indoor area looks like a relatively crappy bar while the outside looks like someone without much money or sense put it together.
But damn, does it work.
First, I’m surprised how long I’ve been in the area and never made it here, but I’m glad I finally did.
Much like Fight Club, Bill’s has rules. ‘Rules’ include not asking about chicken fried steak, because they ain’t got it. Don’t ask about getting a baked potato either. What’s good, everything. lol
My suggestion is that you go there for burgers and beer.
Bill’s has the best burger in that part of town, hands down. It actually competes against some of the burger elites in Houston, but Bill’s has a true «I really don’t give a crap» vibe that isn’t forced like other places.
They have essentially 5 things on the menu. You can get a burger, a chicken sandwich, a BBQ sandwich a 30 oz T-​bone and a 60 ounce sirloin.
There are 5 different cheeses to choose from along with goodies like bacon, mushrooms and jalapenos. Get the damn burger. Unless you’re my wife, then do whatever the hell you want and don’t touch my burger.
When you order your burger, or whatever, make sure you don’t just get fires or onion rings, tell them to split it up to fries, sweet potato fries and onion rings. You can also throw in and/​or sub fired okra and maybe even fried pickles. The batter coated sweet potato fires are kind of required.
Now, to prove Bill’s doesn’t really give a crap, they have one of those big long sliding top cooler setups filled with beer and limes with koozies sitting on top. You go get your own beers and then just tell the waitress how many you had of which. Bill’s goes by the honor system and doesn’t really give a crap, because they know you’ll be so intrigued by the honor system that you aren’t going to be a lying beer stealing coward.
The waitresses are laid back, but they also won’t take any gruf from anyone and probably could care less if you leave because you’re in too much of a dang hurry. Bill’s is a casual, ah screw making the movie and grab another beer kind of place. Don’t go there if you are in a rush, because you’ll kill the mellow.
Now, at some point, you’re going to go there and order a steak, just because the curiosity is going to get the best of you. It got me, and the next thing I know I had a significant portion of cow sitting on my table. I went 30 oz T-​bone for $ 23. I did the f/​sf/​o combo and I also had my salad. You know the crappy white part of iceberg lettuce? Yeah, it’s that with some sliced carrots thrown on top. Pass.
The steak isn’t what you’d call a prime cut. It has a bit of an attitude. Although the flavor is actually pretty decent, you know it’s jealous of the burgers. If your goal is to make sure your lower intestine is impacted with beef the next morning, mission successful and relatively tasty. The thing is, unless you want to OD on protein, you’re going to get a better steak for the same cost down the road at Saltgrass. Bill’s is a top notch burger and beer joint that just wants to dare you to have the steak just like it’d trick you into putting your tongue on a frozen pole. It’s all in good fun, but not really necessary. BTW, I am going to split that 60 oz sirloin with someone at some point. Maybe I can develop some good old fashioned gout by doing so.
Bill’s isn’t where you go looking for entertainment. You go to Bill’s with a group of friends for great burgers and a couple of hours of talk while making the rounds to the beer cooler. If you’re wife has ever had a good time hanging out with your friends burning pallets, take her to Bill’s; otherwise, she might not get it and will burn your time to mellow.

Far out, a awesome fresh made fully loaded cheddar cheese, bacon and jalapeño burger with fresh cut fires (with skin) and onion rings rules!
Sherri/​Cheri/​Sherry (not sure) is amazing! She is super sweet and upon my second return to feast had remembered that I needed a few Shiners and a burger STAT!
I love the 70’s/ 80’s dirty oilfield feel due in fact to the numerous hats lining the walls.
Very refreshing to find people still drinking a few beers with lunch while on the clock. Appears to be a Kool spot for wrecker drivers to hang out as well, sans beer of course. Can’t wait to get back to the states for some Bill’s! I’m really glad for Unilocal on this find! If not for Unilocal,I would have continued driving past in oblivion. You rock Bill’s!