Coco’s Cafe

I just finished dining here a few minutes ago. We (along with another couple) decided to give it a shot on a boring hump day. The location, décor, and atmosphere is decent. The food was very good and reasonably priced for a touristy area. We had a $ 75 gift certificate, so it took the sting out if the $ 225 final bill. We wound up spending $ 75 per couple including 2−4−1 drinks; but we are sooo glad we had a discount!!! Service was very, very, very slow. I recommend this for a date night or entertaining an out of towner.

This was by far the WORST place I have ever been to and the only place where I feared for my life. I should have known better but this is what happened. We were on vaca and a guy named Juda starts talking to us as we are walking down Ocean Dr. He offers us a free $ 150 voucher at a «fantastic» seafood restaurant if we go listen to his 45 minute timeshare pitch. So we do. We decide to check out this place where we get the voucher. It was scary. As we walk down Collins, the streets get more and more ghetto. When we pass by the front, there is one man posing as a guest and he tells us «yo, this food is good, you gotta come in». We were already alarmed considering there was NO ONE at this restaurant. They were blasting hip hop and this guy with steel drums is trying to add on his own tunes. We debated and decided, ok, 1 drink. We go in, and the table cloths are probably 30 years old and haven’t been washed in a while. We also started to get bitten my mosquito bites. My boyfriend went to check out the bathroom and it was clean. But when he went to look through the glass to see the inside of the hotel, the drum player yelled at him and told him not to go in there (what do they have to hide except the fact that they had no patrons?) Is this place used as a drug den or prostitution front?
The drinks are frozen and so is the food. No joke. We ordered a sirloin steak. It had a layer of fat and was too chewy and no taste. I had also the coconut shrimp. There was no shrimp, just breading and this weird white coconut paste and finally, we had 2 orders of fish n chips. The fish was hard, not flaky or white. I’ve had Mrs. Paul’s fish sticks and they were better than this. The salad was wilted and the lemon used for garnish looked like it had been sitting out all day with no juice on the inside. Beware of a place that advertises iceberg lettuce as a «gourmet salad».
So 4 frozen drinks and 4 entrees, and the bill came out to a whopping $ 142 ! unbelievable. Good thing our voucher covered it. We were in and outa there in 20 mins flat.
If i could, I would give this place Zero stars. YUCK! I think I’m getting sick all over again just thinking about it.