Reboot

Yes, it’s weird and kinda sad to see pizza and root beer replaced by «health food», but I was actually impressed by the menu here… while i was a little turned off by the fact that it’s hand written and xeroxed onto a sheet of 81÷2×11 paper, I was happily surprised to see they spent much more time on the actual menu items. My date and I ordered 2 really tasty entres, the avocado wrap, which was by far the best avocado wrap I’ve ever had, and something called a quinoa loaf, which sounds more sad than tasty, but it was so good everyone at the table was raving. It was sort of like a poor man’s Pure Food and Wine, (yeah) but without being totally raw. And for those with kids, it’s double the reason to go, since they maintained two boot’s kid-​friendly status.

RIP, Two Boots. We’ll always have the memories.
Two Boots, my East Village mainstay for calamari, caesar salad and lemonade in a boot, is now a health food joint. No one told me! (I had shown my sister the menu earlier that evening, online and there was no inkling of what was to come.)
My girls and I had a party to go to in the East Village and met up for dinner beforehand. For old time’s sake, I suggested Two Boots. The sign outside should have tipped me off– «Reboot: Have some crappy organic drinks and listen to Reggae.» We walked in and it was empty. That’s when I started to feel uneasy. Usually, Two Boots on a Friday night is noisy. We waited awhile for menus and were finally given composition notebooks. «Oh, new menus?» I remarked. I was referring to the actual format of the menus but little did I know just how new the menus were. I opened them, expecting to see my po boys and calamari but instead was faced with black bean something or other and a dish of grass served with a side of something not greasy or fried. My stomach turned. What happened to my Two Boots? They still had their pizzas in the back of the menu, though. I said to my girls, «We are not staying. We are leaving!» They urged me to give the new menu a chance but I said no, because I can be extraordinarily bratty when it comes to food.
We stood up to leave and the waitress inquired after us. «What happened to the menu?,» I moaned. «Oh, it’s something new.» «Is it just Friday nights or always?» «Oh, everyday! and our pizzas are organic, too, now!» With that, we hustled out the door with me moaning things like «why you gotta fuck with a good thing?» and «I wanted calamari!»
We went to Essex instead and got calamari and other not so healthy things, but that’s another review.