7-Eleven

Yes, there used to be a 7 – 11 here before. It did not ‘move’ to the Milwaukee avenue location; that one’s always been there (born and raised in Sellwood). The main gist of this part of the review is that I was glad to see a «7−11 coming soon» sign on the building after the Pine Tree market had closed. Finally, a decent, inexpensive business in Sellwood returns! I figured I’d finally won one in the pricey and over-​inflated egotistiacal hype that has sadly become Sellwood in the last dozen years, or so
Har-de-fuckin’-har. When the place first opened, it was run by slack-​jawed twenty somethings who could have cared less (yeah, I know they’re working for minimum wage, so shut up. They should still do their damned jobs), items were constantly out of stock. The Slurpee machine in the heat of summer out of service. Bunk.
Recently, the service has gotten better, and things are stocked more thoroughly, but… do NOT go there, unfortunately, in the early morning hours. It seems like their card machine is always ‘out of service,’ judging from the kid smoking outside, I doubt that very much. Sure trims the work down to hang a random sign, doesn’t it? Heh heh. Who the HELL carries cash anymore? Except for me, once a month, because my old butt-​crack exposing landlord insists on it.
24-​hours means 24 HOURS, I expect to be treated as such, even if I get the urge to go at 4 in the morning, because I don’t want to be around Sellwood’s hipsters..

Should this 7 – 11 be considered Zombie-​land convenience, or Groundhogs Day convenience, or, or ???
You see, this was a 7 – 11 for many years, until the early 90s, when they packed up and moved down just past the QFC and Dairy Queen there in Sellwood. The mini mart formerly known as 7 – 11 became the Pine Tree (Korean owned) Mart uneventfully, and remained so for over 20 years. The exceptionally groovy Chowdah cart enjoyed a flash in the pan existence, residing right behind the Pine Tree Market in the carwash parking lot, but after Chowdah fled for the greener pastures of SE 13^th ave, so too did this sad little Markets fortunes dwindle. After this, therefore because of this? Piffle on such sophistries! Pish and double pish!
So the upshot is, now 7 – 11 has returned, and I have noted in other newish 7 – 11 reviews around town, there has been a wave of them popping up seemingly everywhere— even in No Po, over and over. Each store represents an enormous investment (yes, I looked into it, as that was once a fanciful dream, to own one of my very own).
So very strange! 7−11s are notoriously hard to kill – seriously, like Steven Seagal level ‘Hard to Kill’ — -no, better yet like, Dracula hard to kill (hmmm, and both are up all night, and share an inexplicable shyness about anything too garlicky…) Some fly by night out of the hood, presumably never to return (like the ones on Portland/​Rosa Parks and Albina, and the one on 33^rd and Killingsworth). So far, the re-​incarnation of the 7 – 11 on SE Tacoma after 20+ frickin’ years is uncharted territory, ‘sfar as I’m concerned, amigos. Muy extraño, por cierto!
Maybe it’s not Night of the Living 7 – 11 or Groundhog’s 7 – 11 at all… maybe it’s the X-Men’s Phoenix, née Jean Grey, aka part time super model, part time herald to friggin’ Galactus 7 – 11! If so, be afraid, SE Portland, be very afraid Con mucho cuidado y mucho Respeto.