Doc’s Pizza Buffet

Worst pizza I’ve ever had in my life. That said, its still pizza and still tastes decent. Plus they’ve got a good sized salad bar. I used to go here all the time because my Starving student card had a two for one deal. It’s cheap, it fills you up, and its better than banquet microwaveable food but I don’t have much positive to say besides that. The pizza choices range from mildly pleasant to barely edible.

What can I say? I’m not impressed. I think this place used to be a Chinese buffet before it was ever a pizza buffet, evidenced only by the Asian architecture for the booths and the Chinese family that all worked here. So I guess when a Chinese buffet fails, why not try Italian?
The pizza itself was decent at best. The barbeque chicken pizza reminded me of a frozen Totinos pizza — definitely not a good thing. One of those pizzas only cost like 78 cents. A buffet here costs $ 6 even with drink for lunch. The pizza flavors were not surprisingly uninventive, with only one specialty pizza — sausage alfredo pizza with spinach. They also had spaghetti with your choice of marinara or alfredo sauce. The marinara was decent, though lacked flavor. The alfredo sauce tasted like bland paint and was as runny as skim milk. Why did I try it? I had to… just for you guys who want to attempt this place.
They have a salad bar that I would not attempt. The lettuce looks Ready Pak bagged iceburg that the market across the street threw away. Plus, I don’t know if they keep that stuff cold, but it looked like everything had been there for a while. The had a dessert section which was teeny teeny teeny. There was a dessert pizza that looked like it was smothered with jam instead of marinara sauce — or was it pie filling… anyway, it didn’t look very appetizing. I settled for the cinnamon dots, which were actually good.
My friends liked Doc’s because they serve Apple Beer. Seriously, people around here are easy to please. Serve Apple Beer on tap and you’ve got yourself some life customers.
I think I had the most fun just looking around and observing the people around me. This is always the best part about dining in places you wouldn’t want to try based on appearances. For some reason, it reminded me of a really ghetto restaurant I would find in Lemon Grove, CA. Let’s look at the variety of customers…
1. The Malaysian hooker look-​a-​likes that had to get their pizza fix before work, right? That’s definitely not something you see around Provo, but perhaps Doc’s has it’s own sociological infrastructure independent of Provo.
2. The guy who came to a pizza buffet by himself on a Saturday afternoon and managed to get ranch dressing from the salad bar drizzle down the side of his mouth. He tried the jam-​filled pizza and seemed to enjoy it.
3. The epitome of a white trash family. The mom was rocking out to some song from the early ‘90s and telling her kid when he could go back to the buffet. The dad was fairly large in stature and wore a tie-​dye shirt that was severely ripped in the back, exposing his excessively hairy back. But the best part about him was the mullet, with the party section of the hair extending down to mid-​back. Surprisingly, the kid looked decently normal. He even patted his pizza with a napkin to soak up the excess grease… wow, I think I spent more time watching people than eating.
I originally gave Doc’s 3 stars because of the humor that I found in their patrons, but when I think about it, I don’t think it really deserves a 3. I imagine this place being good for a 10 year old’s birthday party, mainly because you can feed kids a heck of a lot of food. It has that appeal to it. Kids don’t care about quality. They’ll eat crap as long as you give them enough.