Idiot Driver

Hey moron, when a freeway exit comes up that you are about to miss, it would probably be advisable to take the NEXT one and make a detour! Do NOT suddenly decide to slam on the breaks, go sharply in reverse and attempt to exit with cars traveling behind you in excess of 70+ MPH! And turn signals are not optional so learn to use them… A-​hole!!!

My adventure to North County today:
Soooooo which lane are you in anyway?! My lane? Cool, I will get out of my lane and go to the one on my right. Ohhhhhhhh… as soon as I do that you decide to go right too? Thanks lady for not using your blinker. No worries, I am almost to my exit anyway but the fact that you have slowed to 45 mph ½ a mile from the exit isn’t helping any. Great, now you are turning right off the exit too? No biggie only a block until I turn right again to climb the hill to my parents house then I will sneak around you. Hey look! A snail just passed us because you are going 20 in a 45. Okay lady, you can turn right on red. Hello?! YOU CAN TURN RIGHT ON RED! I give a polite little beep of the horn and you freak? You are not only holding me up but everyone behind me and you can still turn on red! Yay! It’s green and you finally decide to start crawling along but there are two lanes now so I’m gone! See ya later!
I pull up to my parents house and start to unload some boxes. Hey look who comes driving into the cul-​de-​sac… Howdy neighbor /​Idiot Driver!
Kind of feel bad but not really. They need to stop letting old people drive in Rancho Bernardo.

it wasn’t nice to meet your acquaintance today. in fact i hope i never run into you again.
there we both were at the stop light. me, in the proper lane to turn left. you, in the lane immediately next to me, planning to go straight. when my light turned green and off i went, …& you did too. did it ever occur to you that there is only 1 lane to turn left, not 2? or were you too busy yakking on the cell phone? or i could pull the stereo-​typical racist card, and blame it on the fact that you were asian or even a woman, for that matter.
i then watched you tailgate the old woman & cut off the public bus, as you hauled ass down linda vista road towards usd. of course you probably didn’t even notice, since your phone call was rather important, more so than driving.
frankly, your driving sucks. if i ever see your ugly ass teal subaru station wagon again, you will be definitely getting the finger from me.

60 in the fast lane
why
do they
always
end up
in front
of me,
then
some fool
comes up on
my ass
like
im the one
who thinks
60, is
ok,
cut off
merged on
Smart cars,
stupid drivers
ya know what
they say
guys, with
those big trucks
have little,
errr, brains?
oops
did i just
cut you off,
pass ya
on the right,
well
at least
i
used my
damn signal
use my
signal, always
lights on
in the rain
you people
make me
insane;
beep beep
uhhh, the
lights green
pay attention,
you ARE driving
oh and,
would ya believe
there are actually
other people
on the road
besides you,
cutting over
4 lanes
so you
dont miss
your exit
is unacceptable,
same as, well
hang up
and drive,
but please
not
60 in the fast lane.
–So much more to say… Please respect bi-​cyclists, please dont try and «bully» your way into my lane, please come to a full stop at STOP signs, please dont make a right on red when i have the green left turn arrow and beep at me when i have the right-​of-​way, please do not drink and drive, please do not apply make up and drive, please do not drive with your dog on your lap, please do not acknowledge the propaganda billboards, please dont take up 2 parking spaces when ya know damn well you can fit another car in there, and most importantly of course… please dont pick your damn nose!

I’m probably an idiot driver.
But at least I’m not one of those F-​450 driving, trucker hat wearing, gas guzzling, rap-​music blasting, cut you off in the rain, covered in pro-​life/​war stickers idiot drivers.
And on the opposite spectrum, I’m not one of those idiot drivers who drive the idiot tuna can that barely goes past 50-​mph on the freeway and loads 7ppl in a 5 passenger car idiot drivers. My car actually works.
And at least I’m not Highway Patrol. They are what happened to the idiot school bully you knew in grade school.
…And Done.

Yeah. I am talking about you, jerk!
How dare you drive on the same road as Em B.
Stupid, Jerk.
You need to learn how to drive.
You seriously need to get some therapy.
Maybe you can figure out your insecurities with driving a big, honking, extreme-​emission-​exuding vehicle.
Stupid, summambab*tch!
You should go to UCLA and get in their driving program and learn some etiquette.
Stupid, jerkface.