Danny’s Carryout

Called them. They hung up on me.
In the words of dr. Dre.
F y’all
All y’all
If y’all don’t like me
B me

Mmmm this place is awesome! The General Tsao’s Tofu (ask for it regardless of whether it’s on the menu – when I was there, the menu failed to mention it, but it was there!) is AMAZING. And they give you so much food. A great, cheap, awesome, filling place to eat while you take a break from partying. And a fun atmosphere with lots of other exciting drunk people around!

Danny’s is pretty much your only option for decent Chinese delivery in Capitol Hill. It’s not amazing, but it does satisfy that craving you get every once in a while when you come home after a crappy day at work and all you want to do is vegetate on the couch/​just can’t be bothered to turn on the stove.

Danny’s is getting 3 stars instead of 2 only because it sets expectations so low — it’s only fair to judge a place on what it claims to be, and this place doesn’t aspire to much. It’s a crappy late-​night takeout place serving «Chinese» food (oh, and sandwiches, fries, wings, «pizza stix,» etc.) from behind bulletproof glass and, oh yeah, it’s called «Danny’s Carryout.» The bar can’t get much lower than that.
Starving, alone and desperate after a late-​night marketing event up the street, I finally succumbed and got chicken lo mein from Danny’s. (Getting seafood lo mein of any kind seemed like an especially bad idea.) The guy at the counter was friendly, waving back to me as I left. The food, as predicted, was terrible. Smelled unpleasant, tasted similarly, and a few chicken pieces I bit into were just gristle, provoking a gag reflex. I ate a few bites to take the edge off my hunger and threw the rest away.
Also — and I’m positive this is too much information but I’m sharing it anyway — the next day brought about a bathroom encounter that I’m blaming on Danny’s, because there was some overlap in smell.
Anyway, I’ll probably end up here again. Not proud of it though.

Danny’s is one of the less ghetto open-at-3:30am Chinese carry-​outs. That being said, the food is just okay. My Hunan beef was alright but the wait for your food can be sketchy. A crazy guy just kept on screaming at everybody walking in. I went to sit in my car and came back for my order. Danny’s is good for when you don’t feel like a big bite and slurpee after partying it up on H Street.

I groused the whole way there, but given Lia’s misfortune in our evening plans thus far, I let her take the reins on the food destination. It didn’t stop me from loudly declaring, «I’m going to hate myself in the morning, aren’t I?» And a total stranger who was entering Danny’s in front of us said, «Yes, yes you are.» Service was patient with the drunk crowd, soft-​spoken and moderately accented. No credit cards makes me sad.
I got chicken gizzards with a side of fried rice, and a Philly steak and cheese egg roll– the latter two on Brian B’s recommendation. Or maybe it was a dare… after that much alcohol on an empty stomach, I couldn’t differentiate between the two for the life of me. Five minutes on the bench by the wall and we started getting our food. Dietrick got his french fries first, which were mushy and pre-​coated in ketchup. Poorly done carbs. Lia was kind enough to share her eight dumplings, which were on the doughy side and a bit oily; great for sobering up, less so for general consumption. The egg roll was not horrifying as expected, just slightly strange. The adage of deep-​frying anything reaches new heights once you encase it in a rice wrapper, I guess. Fried rice was average, but I was too busy enjoying the gizzards to snub it. Coated in batter before dipped in the fryer, these turned out like gristly chicken nuggets. Ohhh what a happy offal fan am I. Two and a half stars, the sobriety got done as planned, and my body didn’t hate me for consuming it.

I believe a certain someone looked at Ruth & I, and our food, and said «Y’all are going to hate yourselves in the morning.» Well, I might not go that far (no stomach illness occurred, and the hangover was mild and brief), but at the time, I was drunker than I care to admit, and hungry. However, if you ate a high volume here or ate the wrong thing, you might hate yourself in the morning. Danny’s is probably not the cleanest place to eat.
I had dumplings and an egg roll. Egg roll was fine, but a little bland, and dumplings were greasy, and am not sure what was actually in the dumpling, though at the time it was tasty. I think they give you plenty of dumplings, because I did not eat the whole order, but my memory fails me on how many were actually in the order. We were able to sit on the bench and eat, but some people were standing and eating. I was thankful for some food, but might try another open restaurant in the area before coming here again.

So it’s the local takeout joint for Chinese/​Subs/​Pizza/​Fried fish/​Gyros/​Fried chicken/​Etc. Take your pick on the menu and get ready for the yummy fried food to enter you and give you massive amounts of pleasure. Sure, it’s not a gourmet delicacy, but you don’t visit a place like this for high end food. This is the kind of place for a late night treat or for when you simply need to satisfy a craving. So go forth and order!

Hammed from across the street at the Palace of Wonders once night. Went to go use the bathroom. Line is super long. Stumble out the front door and walk to the side of the building. Do my business. Walk back to the front door and notice large glowing sign. Chinese food… Walk over and go inside. Ask the guy if he has orange chicken. He said yes. Asked how long… he replied…4 minutes. Asked how much… he said $ 3.50. I said… DEAL and slam 5 dollars down. Food came quick. Talked about mumbo sauce to the guy behind me who ordered wings. Took the bag and went outside. Sat on a concrete parking lot thing and began to devour the food. Chicken was super hot. Came with a small box of rice. Definitely hit the spot. Chicken was meaty and tender. Rice was fresh. Perfect portion if you’re not sharing. After meal stumbled back to bar, friends still dont know why i was in the bathroom for so long.

It’s 3 am in Northeast DC, you can’t find a cab, you and your buddies are craving some mumbo sauce. Inevitably, you will face this question: Danny’s or Good Danny’s?
I am here to make the decision easier for you. it doesn’t matter. They are exactly the same. They are both SHADY AS HELL, with bulletproof glass, lots of dudes drinking out of brown paper bags lingering around who like talking to girls ridiculous enough to think that hanging around this place at 3 am is a brilliant idea. Everything tastes like Chinese food. But it’s 3 am, there is no edible pizza to speak of throughout the entirety of the District (and if there were, it wouldn’t be open anyway), and, well, mumbo sauce is singularly magical. The chicken wings are fatty, crispy, and huge. Get a greasy bag of them and share. Then good luck trying to get a ride home.

Good schezuan tofu. Doesn’t make me sick like most chinese food. Even if I eat the leftovers 3 days in a row.
They do not understand the word «tofu» here. They call it «bean curd». They will be confused if you say «tofu.» They are a little hard to talk to on the phone. I think they understand English a little better than they speak it. Don’t expect to understand anything they say back to you… but they probably understand you.
It’s kind of a rough scene, here, sometimes, as it seems to attract drunk people who are incredibly rude to the staff of this place.
Not to be confused with Good Danny’s at 610 H St.
Changing from 4 to 3 stars because you can’t really call ahead at this place. I mean, you can, but they won’t start making the food until you get there.