Guards

This post refers to my dinner experience not the bar, the two are separated.
The inside atmosphere is great, especially after living in Miami/​Miami Beach for the last three and half years where every establishment has thrown up into their building after eating Scandinavian design. Try to get a reservation by the fireplace in the back, that coupled with dark old wood decorating the walls and dim light added a great atmosphere to dinner. Overall, I would go back for the atmosphere and food. My meal was a steak tartar and veal oscar style, I was lovin’ it. For anyone ordering the prime rib, you do know that one of the fattiest cuts you can order, right? Someone at our table returned a great looking prime rib because it had to much fat, what do they think makes it taste so good?
My major complaint was the service, very, very slow, we had a table of 10, which I understand we added a few to the reservation, but a three hour meal is ludicrous. I mean at least at Prime 112 I know their going to tell me, «yes, the reservation is a at 8:30» then seat me at 10:15, happens every time but we waited much to long for orders. At least comp a bottle or two of the cheap wine to appease the table.

This is a good place to grab lunch or dinner in Georgetown. The menu has a variety of items, and the price is well worth the quality of what your getting. My Favorite is the black and blue burger.
At night, this place gets pretty crowded. They open up the down stairs with music.

This place is awesome !!! The drinks are strong and bartenders friendly. The food is
Incredible and inexpensive. The best prime rib and crab cakes are the best in DC!!!

This review is solely based upon drinks and bar atmosphere-didn’t have any food.
This place is like a coin-​two sides that are quite different. First you have the old fashioned upstairs bar and restaurant which has a classy feel. They make good drinks, I had some martini’s and also a mixed drink and all were done well. Service was fast and friendly. It’d nice to find a spot like this that you can have a relaxing drink at without crowds of college students or ppl just trying to get blackout.
Downstairs was quite a surprise. They had a dive-​y type of dance floor with a DJ and whole bunch of lights. The sound is high enough to get your blood moving (even though from upstairs you can’t even tell). I really liked the contrast between upstairs and downstairs and makes for a great evening because you can start upstairs and after you get boozed up you can go dance and let loose.
Not having tried the food I think this place is a solid ⁴⁄₅ and would return.

I really enjoyed this place. Cozy environment, dim, large fireplace, wood décor, it felt like going back in time to King Arthur. The food was terrific and well made, the staff was eager to please. I’ll be going back!

Ummmm…
IT was almost a month ago since I ate here — so I really can’t remember the details, but I’ll give it a shot. =)
I came here with my friend and his wife… which I suppose is also my friend, but just wanted the review to look longer than a few sentences, so I’m writing this out.
After walking a few blocks to get here, we got a table for 4. (because that’s how many people there were)
The young waiter sat us down, and immediately I was concerned because it was peak dinner time, and the place was not busy what-​so-​ever… always a bad sign.
yet dont’ be discouraged… look back up at my star rating… 4 stars!
Since I don’t really recall anything bad — that means it was good. But since I don’t really remember an amazing time… that means no 5 stars…
HOW“S THAT FOR A REVIEW!

Had dinner here with a few friends. The Oysters Rockefeller were very tasty, and the French Onion Soup was great. I had the Shrimp and Crab Meat salad, which was good, but nothing to write home about.
As a bonus, it’s a nice old establishment with a lot of charm. The dim lighting and floor-​to-​ceiling hard wood give it a distinct pub feeling, but I was disappointed that there was no traditional pub food on the menu, I was looking forward to bangers and mash or something similar.
Dinner for four came in at $ 85, which was definitely reasonable. I’d like to come back and try the Griffon Burger, it looked like a treat.

Fun old school bar. Came here several times for happy hour during our stay. The bar food is so so but the chowder was great. Dark bar with lots of oak and that distinctive Northeastern feel. Seems like a great local spot.

There were 3 of us that decided to walk from the Foggy Bottom Metro stop to Georgetown and were starving by the time we got to M street. It was about 6ish and Guards was the first place we all agreed on since they have quite a diverse menu with Italian and French specialties. Since it was soo hot outside, it was so nice to come in to this cool dark English pubish restaurant.
I can’t remember if I ordered the house red wine or a sparkling wine but I just remember I enjoyed it. I had the lamb ($ 18) and lobster bisque. I know weird combo but it was delicious. Someone had the smaller portion of prime rib ($ 18) which was still huge and another had the Steak Diane ($ 24). We all enjoyed our food.
Friendly service, reasonable prices, and extensive wine and spirits menu. The only inconvenient thing was the bathroom was downstairs.

Not impressed. My friends were in the mood for steaks, and for whatever reason they wanted to come to Guards. It’s the type of place that you’d walk into and expect to see the Godfather eating dinner. I did like the «feel» of the place, in that it was old school, darkened old wood, etc… but I won’t be back.
My steak came out fine but somewhat lacking in flavor (fatty prime rib.) Two friends ordered surf & turf mid-​rare & medium, & they came out well done & dry. The filet was ordered mid-​well (I know, it upsets me too) and it also came out charred & dry. The bread provided was old & stale; definitely a day or two old.
For drinks, they only have three beers on tap, so I put on my drinking shoes and ordered an extra dirty martini… it came out clear & not cold… martini fail. There are too many good restaurants in D.C., and this, in my opinion, is not one of them.

Wow, what a token from history! After trying to go another historic establishment that had closed down, it was good to see that the Guards was still open. We walked in on a weekday night to not a busy crowd, yet busy enough that made us feel at home in a Georgetown institution. We didn’t get food, butter do you really at a place like this?
Drinks were decently priced and the service was prompt and happy enough to ensure we were having a good time. Otherwise, no complaints. Keep it real, the Guards.

My sentiments are ehhhhhh about this place. Came here with my girlfriend and her father. It was one of his last days visiting in DC and he heard this place was nice from the guy at the front desk.
We got the oysters to start off and some calamari. Those were actually very tasty. It was my first time trying oysters on the East Coast and it didn’t dissapoint. We put some lemon and horseradish on em. They tasted fresh and delicious. The calamari was what any regular calamari really tastes like so no qualms there.
The main course kind of disappointed all of us. I got the hamburger, my girlfriend got some pasta thing and her dad got the salmon. We kind of all simultaneously agreed that all the food was off a bit. It’s been a while since I haven’t finished a hamburger and I did not finish that one simply because it wasn’t that great. The meat was too big, way overcooked, and the condiment, lettuce, and toppings did not taste very good. Everyone had something else to say about their food but overall a bit disappointing.
Service was okay. Nothing to complain about, but one thing about the ambiance of that place is that it was dimly lit.
Would go back there for the oysters, just because they were fairly priced and very good, but not for anything else.

Overall, not a good experience and would avoid going there again, unless a close personal friend has a mind-​blowing experience there to change my mind.
The food (the gryphon burger) was decent at best, though I did like the fries. Meat wasn’t cooked as I asked it to be and overall really plain. With the service I was receiving, it really wasn’t worth sending it back.
The bartender and her service were miserable. Maybe if I had worn a suit I would’ve gotten attention like the grand total of only 4 other people at the bar. She never asked if I needed anything else, and I had to struggle to get her attention. Then when I had tried to order the bagna cauda (full name Cajun Sausage Bagna Cauda) appetizer she said she’s never heard of it. I pointed it out on her menu, and she took the menu to go ask one of the kitchen staff if they actually had it. By the time she came back, it just wasn’t worth it so I stuck with the burger and the one beer I had ordered.
Also had a hard time redeeming my LivingSocial deal with her so I had to go through the manager to get it input into the system.
Overall, there are a lot better places to go.

Well, it’s very sad that the management of this restaurant is trying to dismiss this event when it’s better to not say anything at all. We are not interested in getting into an argument with the management but think that it is important for us to reply since the management wants to pretend that it never happened.
It is true that they’ve tried to get in-​touch with us which was appreciated but we decided to decline their offer due to our previous experience.
Here is the e-​mail they sent us:
«I am terribly sorry that you had such an unpleasant experience. I spoke to my manager after you had left and she told me what happened. I am glad i have a way to get in touch with you.
The guards despite sharing the building with upstairs apartments and another restaurant are diligent about our sanitation and this incidence is a random and disturbing event.
We informed the landlord and fired our exterminators and have undergone an extensive and expensive series of treatments to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I only hope we can do something to bring you back. I would love to by you and your husband dinner and pick out a special bottle of wine. The only way to erase this experience is to replace it with happier ones. Please allow me to do that.
Hossein Shirvani»
So decide for yourself.

(only for nightlife) To have a good time here you must:
1. Gather a group of fun friends and significant others.
a. These friends should be prepared to relive their college frat party years.
2. Pregame.
3. Chat (even briefly) with the super nice bartenders.
4. Order and consume at least $ 20 worth of drinks.
5. Dance with friends.
a. Do not let anyone penetrate the group of friends.
b. Do not attempt to hang and chat with your friends. Just dance.
i. Lingering without movement increases your chance of
encountering creepsters/​yuppies.
6. Avoid the super creepy guy who might be on e.

So on the menu I saw a bagel and lox… I havent had this in ages. Well… apparently bagels are toast in DC and doesnt come with cream cheese.
They where able to get me a bagel, so that was nice of them to fix that… but they had NO cream cheese. That was too bad.
Its a really cool looking pub inside, dark and comfy… if only the service was cool.

The Guards has been going strong since 1967; their aged bar is polished, and the décor refined. Even their comfy chairs have an inviting, lived-​in look to them. For sure, they give diners with a pleasant place to perch, a sunny seat to enjoy a pint and people-​watch. (Planning a party? They’ve got a private area in the back.)
We joined a gaggle of diners at the bar one Sunday afternoon. Besides a lion’s share of wine and spirits, The Guards serves steak, seafood, and salads. Sadly their bar doesn’t have happy hour specials, but the bartender is more than happy to pour you a stiff drink. Or two. Or three.
The bartender provided friendly, personal service, mixing us a menagerie of shots ($ 8/​shot, varies per liquor), all with deep pours. The same bartender brought us custom concoctions including kamikaze shots with Tuaca and Patron Citronge, and even comped a round when we returned to The Guards later that day. They’ll even make Irish car bombs, if you’re into those. And who isn’t?

As much as I love the charm and ideal behind an old school British pub, the food always let’s me down. Not that the food is bad, I am always just so wrapped up in the atmosphere that by the time the food comes, I am sadly disappointed. I love the classics like the oysters Rockefeller, steak tartar, french onion soup, etc but the other dishes tend to throw me off. Most recently, I went out on a limb and ordered the Thai boodle salad and spiced steak, sounds good right and sure why did I order such an adventurous dish at a pub in Georgetown? On it’s own, the steak was spiced well, not that I enjoyed it, but the level of heat, flavor, etc were balanced nicely, but a spicy piece of beef with a creamy cold noodle salad were a terrible mix. I have such happy memories of this place form my college days, but sadly my pallet and discerning taste have left the Gaurds as just that, a memory.
The music selections never quite seem to fit the room either, I know it’s a Friday night and you are getting ready to turn into a happening bar scene but come on. While I sip my malbec in a club chair and enjoy my oysters Rockefeller, I really don’t want to hear Britney Spears blaring on the speakers, kind of ruins the mood.

Warning: Do NOT come to the Guards if you aren’t in the mood for some Demolition Man-​level self-​destruction.
But I like The Guards for being what it is and doing it well. You get what you pay for. You always get a story, an experience, and that is what you usually want if you’re going out hard in Georgetown. I love the fact that upstairs is fairly normal, mundane, bar experience. But then you go downstairs and your eyes widen, they peel back like Marty McFly traveling back in time, and the world just races around you. It’s the craziest thing in the world. Just people bumping and banging and screaming and having a good time.
Get tired of the mayhem? Go back upstairs for a little bit and de-​stimulate. Build up a good liquor jacket and dive back into the chaos.

OH GUARDS! How I love thee… sloppy, drunk, good times!
The Guards is great if you are under 30. Forget it if you actually care about decent surroundings. If you don’t mind being in a basement crammed in like rats. The best part about the place is the fun variety of music. I had so many fun nights here that I ended up having my bachelorette party here but it ended at 11 because I was too drunk to walk. Body shots off of some cute boys is all I remember and tunnel vision before I passed out.
But I do remember having lots of fun at this skanky bar. But now I can’t even think about entering the Guards again.