Kickass Koffee

I’ve been going here for years now. Ever since we moved here. The girls have always been sweet to me and the coffee is great! They even remember what I want even when I don’t get there as often as I’d like.

I grew up here long before KickAss existed. Now I live in Cali where fancy, shmancy coffee shops and big chain coffee shops abound. KickAss is always fast, has great coffee, serve no sugar added big trains for those of you who need those sweet drinks and are always friendly. My parents get their coffee here at least a couple times per week and they so love it that I called KickAss and purchased a gift card for my parents and in typical small town form they knew exactly who I was talking about and held it for them until they stopped by for their next coffee. The smell of fresh ground coffee wafts into your car and makes the 5 am drive back to PDX to catch your flight much more enjoyable and they’re conveniently located right off the Astoria-​Megler Bridge.

This place is pretty lowbrow. Nobody listens to you order, they rush you through the process, and in the end, you get a coffee that makes you wish you went somewhere else. I stopped going here a while ago, and I’ve only lived here for a month.

Honestly, I only go there when I’m too lazy to want to get cigarettes and coffee in two stops.
They have only one worker there I enjoy; the others are usually too busy gossiping to each other or flashing their tits to the other sides male customers for tip. They also don’t tell you they tag on a charge for cards, so bring cash…

It takes special kind of people to appreciate the liquid sunshine that keeps our area so green, our rivers so blue and our coffee tasting so good. Kickass Koffee isn’t for those who prefer the burnt bean taste of a cuppa that the chain down the road serves. This special roasted coffee leaves a very nice, mellow, finish on the palate that will leave you looking for the next place to make a u-​turn and come back for another cup. Their prices are another nice contrast to the chain drive throughs, the baristas are always ready with lively conversation, they know where the local events are happening plus they are happy to put your poster up to advertise your fundraiser. I love to get an Asiago bagel w/​an iced Americano, shot of vanilla and half and half, all for under $ 5 including the tip! You can’t beat the taste, price or service than what you receive at Kickass.

It’s always raining in Astoria. Regardless of the weather just a few miles north or south the city, it will be raining in Astoria. Jutting out into the mists where the Columbia and the Pacific crash together, this city on a hill naturally accumulates moisture in an act of constant massive condensation.
Which makes drive-​thru coffee a godsend — especially 20 minutes into the 2-​hour drive home after a coffee-​free camping weekend.
Kickass Koffee provided quick, friendly service. Unfortunately, they also provided a bitter, tepid brew. Konvenient, yes. Kickass, no.