El Patio Bar

Went in with my minor niece… they waited till we (three adults) ordered drinks to tell us she could not be in the bar (2 in the afternoon)… 25 dollars later… we asked if we could finish the drinks… the rude bar tender said… no you have to leave now… WOW

Good people (other than scowling bartender– particularly rude to women), good vibe, a lot of character. Used to be my home away from home with great service– if I didn’t have charm pre– embedded would have ranked lower for that bartender named Michelle.

Great dive bar! Bar staff is friendly. Drink specials are always on point. Happy Hour is a blast!

Unless you know the bartenders, expect to wait awhile for a drink. I was visiting from Chicago, you know, the most violent place in the states. Not even in Chicago do they treat you as badly as the bartenders did at this bar. It felt like the bartender had to say hi to all his friends, get them all drinks, have a few shots, before he even got to me. Actually, every time he saw me it looked like he was inconvenienced and moved to the next person. Also, the ATM is like someone coming up to you in a trench coat from a dark alley. He opens up one side revealing a credit card machine and then opens up the other side to give you a receipt to give to the bartender, super janky. I love dive bars and hole-​in-​the-​walls but this type of service you won’t even get at the douchiest place in Scottsdale, AZ. If you’re thinking, «wow, I’ve never gotten this type of service», that’s because you’ve been there before, this is from a first time perspective. VISITORS BEWARE.

Cheers this place is not. Bartenders act like they are inconvenienced serving you. I had some newbies with me and they weren’t sure what they wanted. Asked the tender to suggest something (perfect opportunity to up sale) and she responded with, «I’m busy, I don’t have time for this.» Awesome. The eye roll that was added was a nice touch too. Someone told this girl she was pretty too many times, so her personality and social skills lack heavily. Luckily, another bartender came to the rescue and made the experience somewhat salvageable. Thus, one star.

We went here on a Friday afternoon looking for some beers and pool. While the inside has some character, the rest of our experience was poor. The bartender looks like she has a perpetual bad day, and the beer choices were just OK. But our biggest problem was the REALLY LOUD rap music they had playing. We were playing pool in the next room, and couldn’t have a conversation. And this was 2pm on a Friday afternoon. Not many people in there, and no one looked liked they wanted the music that loud (or that type). We can say we went there, but there’s nothing to bring us back or recommend it to others.

My dive bar before I knew what dive bars were. How have I not written a review here!!!
Probably the most interesting thing about El Patio is the crowd. It’s most definitely a spot for regulars and ‘locals’, but there are often a lot of people from out of town. Every time I go I see people I know, as well as make a few friends.
Every time I come home I tell myself I’m not going to have «too much fun» here. But the drinks are super affordable and strong! There’s a jukebox as well as live music occasionally. This is somewhere you would come with friends. You could take a date here, but it gets pretty crowded and loud. So first dates could get a little awkward.
Fun location for everybody over 21. I’ve come here with a variety of friends and it’s impossible to have a bad time. Bartenders are always cool.
The important thing is to emphasize how slammed it can get. There’s just the one bar and the area behind the bar is fairly small. With the prices, everyone wants a drink at any given moment. Bring your patience if you come on a Friday or Saturday night or random weeknight when they’re having a band or specials.
Cash only. One of the only major drawbacks. :-(If you do forget to stop by the ATM, they have one inside. Just don’t forget the fees.

This place use to be the best spot! It was divey and cheap and fun and the music was good. Now it is a cold day in a New Mexico July that you have a band that doens’t suck, and on top of that you have to pay $ 5-​$ 15 covers to try not to listen to whatever joke of a band is on stage. Second is the service, jesus christ are the bartenders the most miserable people you have ever encountered they are mean, and petty and will most definatley make you feel like you are small and unimportant. And if you happen to go on a night that a popular band plays expect to find no standing room and about an hour and a half wait to get a drink, given that the bartender like you cuz if not you might as well go home or have some one try to buy you a beer.
This place WAS awesome but the crap music, crazy cover prices, and awful bartenders are enough to make any fan turn around and never come back.

You wouldn’t want to go to a dive bar with a 5 star rating would you?
Just pop in, have a shot and shoot some pool already. Dark, dingy, a little dirty, and perfect.

Worst service EVER. The bartenders yell and scream and cuss at costumers. Totally unappreciative losers.
The acoustics suck here, so even if they have a band playing, it sounds horrible.
Bad service = bad bar!

Dump.
Unfriendly people behind the bar — nice to me but I watched how they treat people.
Whatever happened to manners?

Extremely poor service. Poor drink quality. Although this is a historic establishment there is no excuse for unhygienic lavatories. This dive bar does not set the standard.

One of the best dive bars in the world. I always stop here when I am in Cruces, and it is timeless. One of the oldest bars around — drinks are stiff, cheap, and the music is always pretty good.
Bring cash though, they don’t take cards (although the ATM inside only charges $ 1.50, which is a helluva deal).

The El Patio is the most relaxing bar in the Las Cruces area. I shoot pool there with my friend now and then. The drinks are strong and cheap and if you are not careful you get a dose of attitude with it from the bartender but what the hell… some of the jokes on the walls in the men’s room make up for it. Check out the chewing gum comment on the condom machine, classic…

You have got to be kidding! Upon researching where to go in Las Cruces this place came up. I passed it once or twice while checking out Mesilla and figured it was not my taste, but I was curious since it was on that «must see» list. After having a drink or two with dinner at Double Eagle one night (more my usual taste) I wandered over to El Patio. People this is not just a dive bar, it’s one of those places you just don’t go, especially if you are a female and especially not at night. This is your warning, this is not a place to wander into by yourself (I’m pretty sure I’m lucky to be alive). I figure it’s the kind of place you go when you have been out with friends and want one last drink with your friends before you go home, but even then there are safer choices. It’s smelly and dirty (I saw roaches). It attracts a very seedy crowd, even on the slow night I was there. Be glad I was idiot enough to go in there to write this review and save some out– of-​towner the risk of getting hurt. I am pretty sure you can find cheap drinks someplace else.. Sum it up with one word… SCARY.

Small, dark, dingy, cheap beer and crumbling adobe. All things a good bar should be. I read the reviews about the service, which is probably what you get on a Friday night unless you have a DD bra or are a regular. That’s expected from college student bartenders. It’s a small old school neighborhood bar with great history. If you want to relax and experience it, get there early or go on a slow night. If you’re sitting at the bar and tipping well, you’ll be taken care of!

I can’t believe that this place charges a cover. I mean, yeah, it’s really cool to hang out in a REALLY old, kinda grimy dive bar with awesome drink prices, but a cover? Really? Yeah, the prices are great, but whatever you do, don’t wear flip-​flops because they’ll more than likely get stuck to the floor at some point and the evening won’t end so pretty.

IF YOU ARE NOT FROM SOUTHERN NEW MEXICO, this place will be hard for you to wrap your head around. If you want CHEAP drinks and a true dive bar atmosphere in Old Mesilla, come here! Old, run down, and true hang out when all you want to do is drink and watch time pass you by. They have great bands from it to time as well.

Well whenever you come here its either hit or miss!!! This used to be the place to go to a few years back but i think it is finally going dead. This is most likely due to the new places opening up serving alcoholic and entertainment. There are a few things guaranteed here: Dirty bathrooms, dirty floor, getto people, slow bartenders, average music. And i don’t really understand why they have a cover charge?! RIDICULOUS
The only reason this place gets 2 stars is because the drinks are cheap

Its hard to imagine that places like El Patio still exist, with its ancient façade appearing to be crumbling in on itself, but with the sustained confidence in architects and carpenters of years long passed.
The bar is archaic with a long and L-​shaped counter, plenty of historical memorabilia adorning its walls, dim-​yellow lighting, and a jovial staff slinging beers and conversation; a mood that spills onto its lively patrons. The beer in this establishment is criminally cheap, so much so that I wonder if it truly is stuck in the William Bonney era. I hope that I sat on his barstool.
I hope that this bar never, ever goes away. Places like this need to exist.