Smoothie Factory River Oaks

A great place to grab a snack!

The service was fast and the menu is easy to check out. The parking is okay. Now, if they just put some fruit in their smoothies, I’d be happy! This is more for those of you that are into protein powder than I am. There’s a time and a place for that and a lot of different PROTEIN POWDER MAX brands, but I am interested in getting my protein from foods. I don’t really like smoothie king, and Jamba is too far away with abominable service, so I’m sad this place won’t work out for me. :(For you body building dudes, however, do check it out…

I’m not hungover, but I do have a hair appointment. I love my hairdresser, he does a great job, but he is also a friend which means we may spend an hour or two of the process catching up. A 3 PM appointment means I won’t be home for dinner and will be starving and headachey by the time I leave at 7. This time I decide to plan ahead and grab a sippable meal replacement.
The reviews for the SK on Montrose don’t look too hot so I decide to try this place. It’s pretty empty when I get there and I take a minute to peruse the menu. I’m immediately impressed by the ingredient list. The main ingredients are typical to any smoothie operation (bananas, berries, etc), but with honey and other fruits added as natural sweeteners and thickeners.
It took them a while to make my smoothie, but the manager made sure to tell me that the guy at the counter was new — I can deal with that. It was interesting to see that the manager was a former body builder — he’s got a pic next to the register of himself in his oily glory days — so maybe health isn’t just a gimmick to him.
I got the medium, which is way too big if you are just looking for a refreshing drink, but probably okay if you are looking to replace an afternoon snack and meal. Even then I didn’t finish it all by the end of the my evening. Why they (and others) can’t have a decent size between the small («not quite enough») and the medium («way too much») is beyond me!
Otherwise, I’d say this was pretty yummy. Tasting the hints of honey and papaya underneath all that banana-​berry goodness was the icing on the cake!

After the disappointing Montrose @ Westheimer attempt to turn the old taco queen into a Smoothie King (see companion review for the Smoothie King for a low-​down on that botched sex change operation,) I went in search of my new local smoooooth-​criminal smoothie place: and I found it here in River Oaks at the Factory! No doubt a factory straight out of the video game Fable 3 on Xbox360 operated by my namesake Reaver, the hero of Skill from Fable 2, who took a tycoonish spin as the friendly face of Reaver Industries, employing the unwashed masses and living up to every petit bourgeois stereotype: just as I try to do with my stripey dress shirts and too-​cool-​for-​school khaki pants.
When you want a smoothie what are the things you care about?
— no long line. I am thirsty!
— don’t need a mile a minute convo with the smoothie maker, pleasant formalities will suffice if I get to drink something cold pretty quickly!
— clean space, seeing sticky stuff everywhere makes me wonder.
Yeah that is about it. Smoothie making should be pretty streamlined: here, I want this *points* and I will hand over money in exchange for it.
The Factory gets this streamlined process. I walked in. Nobody else in the store. But its a clean store. Browse the menu for a sec until I spot that little «less than three» text messaging convention glow bright red and flash like a strobe light: they have a key lime flavor under the «tropical menu» and it is on like Donkey Kong. Key lime being the crack to me that crack is to crack addicts, or so it seems like on that show Addiction, although I get receipts for my key lime related purchases at Celebrity, Crave, Sprinkles, and now the Factory! Key lime also being the drug/​death method of choice of Dexter’s dear old family friend — and now we see if you have watched Dexter all along or you just came into it last season on a whim!
As for sizing, here is a quick tip embedded in the wall of text review: the sizing runs large. Like a small is sufficient. I went with the medium which is basically what my friends call (ref. Sealab) «fatass mcblobiccus» size — this thing is bigger than my head and I had plenty left over. Go with a small unless you are trying to impress someone easily impressed by a human drinking a lot of something (is that a craigslist filter?)
The guy behind the counter was an older dude but still pleasantly corporate formal, quickly rung me up, quickly prepared the smoothie, and wished me a good day as I went back into the zillion degree heat and my smoothie melted like that time Frosty accidentally drank a mug of Tabasco sauce I had been dared to drink by my frat brothers. Memories. But streamlined memories — something the Factory appreciates and the real hero of Skill, Reaver, would be happy to include it within his holdings of Reaver Industries.
I now have so much sugar running through me I am going to lift a car over my head, brb.

Love!
I am rather picky with my smoothies. I don’t want them to taste like a milk shake, but I don’t want them tasting like protein powder either. My happy medium exists with Smoothie Factory.
Forget the Smoothie King on Montrose and Westheimer. Smoothie Factory provides a much superior product. I tend to stick with the factory original, and add extra peaches in place of bananas. Aside from being cheaper than Smoothie King, what I like about this place is the fact that their drinks do contain protein powder, but you can’t taste it. Every time I get Smoothie King I can taste the powder. It leaves that awful vanilla-​ish aftertaste and it makes the texture of my smoothie frothy. This has never been an issue at Smoothie Factory for me. They’re either using a better powder or they’re adjusting the amount they use appropriately. Also, their smoothies are made with just fruits, water, ice, and a small amount turbinado sugar. The particular drink I get contains honey. No milk, ice cream, or other high-​cal ingredients that I’ve seen other smoothie shops use in their recipes. Perfect tasty, healthy treats.

I go to this place when I want a quick smoothy fix that I feel will be more healthy than Jamba Juice. I refuse to try wheat grass, so I stick with the very berry smoothy and the after workout. Both taste good, but don’t use it as a meal supplement, you’ll be hungry an hour later.
I should probably look into the caloric count of these things, as I really enjoy them after a workout or run in the summer…

I’m hungover. Quick, get me a shot of wheat grass!
Not many smoothie bars carry wheat grass. Other than here and Jamba Juice, you can’t find it. (And if I’m wrong, please do tell.) Other menu items I enjoy here are the green tea shots, Just Peachy and Pineapple Passion smoothies. Both only have 200 cals and are lower in sodium than the others. Trust me. Smoothies aren’t as healthy as you think, so you gotta watch out and read the nutritional guide carefully!
The place is always clean (and very cold) with at least two people working the bar. You can also pick up some supplements and protein shake mixers, but I honestly think Vitamin Shoppe is cheaper.

Great smoothies, prices on products are really low and they are very knowledgeable sales people there. You should try the Peanut Butter Powerhouse. its great.